441 Comments
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Megan Macomber's avatar

Ladies! Are you young, hot and jobless? Well, start practicing your pout and walking in stilettos! Erase any pre-existing notions of taste, or empathy, or history from your mind. Render yourself the emptiest of vessels!

Now, watch Fox News. Or Newsmax. A day should do it. Meander around DC looking for gross violations (or, you know, imaginary violations) of the ethos you just imbibed. Post your findings in all caps words of one syllable. Use X or Truth Social, and make sure your selfie looks seductive...you've got a POTUS to catch!

Finally, get "noticed"! Wear your shortest skirt. And don't forget the heels!

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Rad's avatar

I have come to the conclusion that Donald Tr*mp is not a real person; at least not a real LIVING person. He's some fabricated AI / robot that the Ketamine Crackhead built. When you think of how fuckingly bad AI is and how robots have not really evolved much beyond pokey, calculated moves and how GLUED Musk was to the campaign and the White House, hey - IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!! Jesus Fucking Christ! Look at motherfucker dancing! The fact that he can't speak one sentence without melting into gibberish! And the incessant repeating / rewording QAnon conspiracies!!!

TRUMP IS A MUSK ROBOT RUNNING BAD AI!!!!

Repeat after me:

TRUMP IS A MUSK ROBOT RUNNING BAD AI!!!

Go ahead, prove me wrong.

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Rad's avatar

Also... the SCROTUS* MO is to ACCUSE others of things he's done. Now he's accusing PRESIDENT Biden of being a robot. Hmmm.... Just way too on brand. Way too on brand.

SCROTUS - So Called Ruler Of The United States

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kmblue187's avatar

Trump would insist any portrait didn't resemble him (doesn't flatter him enough.)

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Meg Inwood's avatar

Every time I read the sentence "Thank you for your attention to this matter!", something that feels like lava churns and bubbles in my gut, then makes its attempt to force its way upward and outward. My pulse pounds in my ears. My partner says a small vein starts throbbing in my temple.

*You're damn right I'll pay attention to this matter, motherfucker! Come a little closer and you'll see just what kind of attention I've been paying...*

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Gary. This maladministration has got to go.

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San's avatar

Bad TACO

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San's avatar

WAY TO GO TACO

you dumb SOB

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T L Mills's avatar

This is so frigging utterly infuriating. Excuse me I have to got into my closet to scream, yell obscenities and maybe do a little banging of my head on the wall. At least my head will feel better when I stop, although nothing will have changed.

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WillHotkiss's avatar

Ah yes, the “many people” in his head. Are they in the room now?

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Karen Krebser's avatar

"How dare anyone suggest that a nation that allowed slavery of another race at its founding and gave women about the same rights it gave broodmares might have a racist or sexist bone in its collective body?"

And let's DEFINITELY not mention what we did to the people who already lived here in their multitudes. Not every white person owned African slaves, perhaps, but every single white person in the US today lives on stolen land that may or may not have been blood-soaked when it was taken.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

They can fill the National Portrait Gallery with all the Jon McNaughton masturbatory pieces fawning over Taco they want. Rightwingers will never capture the culture because they are all philistines and squares who think the velvet tiger painting they bought at a garage sale is fine art.

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What A Debacle's avatar

Hereby, henceforth, like and such as!!

*motions for Lutnick to tickle his ball sack*

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

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a. diderot's avatar

Speaking of Hollywood execs scrambling to please, the live action remake of Lilo and Stitch has some telling changes: There is no shark headed Captain Gantu. Instead Dr. Jumba plays the bad guy and he does not have a Russian accent. Since he does not work with Agent Pleakli so they do not need to disguise themselves as a couple and Pleakli does not get to dress in drag.

Also Lilo uncharacteristically tells her sister that she wants to go into foster care so Nani can study oceanography in California which is just so stupid and pointless. Hawaii is one of the best places to study oceanography.

Just want to say that I do not like live action remakes or Broadway interpretations of old cartoons. Find some new stories to tell FFS

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T L Mills's avatar

Amen! I LOATHE remakes.

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knockedoutloaded's avatar

yeah but the new Spinal Tap movie might be worth it!

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Does this mean you aren't waiting with bated breath for the Naked Gun reboot with Liam Neeson?

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T L Mills's avatar

Dear goddess, spare me.

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diogenez's avatar

"Upon the request and recommendation of many people"

Will he ever run out of the things that he pulls out of his ass?

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What A Debacle's avatar

Anal beads, so many anal beads.

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"M"'s avatar

"Upon the request and recommendation of many people"

Who? Who?? WHO ARE THE MANY PEOPLE???

And are they all Goebbels Miller?

And also YOU CANNOT DO THAT, DUDE

I know some people (many people, heh) think it's just shouting into the wind to say that but I want to remind everybody that should we have anything remotely resembling decent government again, someone - several of us - are going to have to keep up with the facts of the truckloads of crimes they committed ... so it's so much easier to write them down as we go

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Marc Guilbert's avatar

Whenever I hear him say "many people," I always fill in "...in my head." He has got to have something like that, for all the middle of the night rage-"truthing" he does.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Sir told me "No more red pepper flakes in the taco meat! It's the law!!"

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Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Nobody will care, but he’s not going to get his Garden of Heroes sculpture-palooza. There aren’t enough sculptors or infrastructure here in these United States, per something I read the other day, possibly here?

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Pexas Teat's avatar

Probably here, as I read it also!

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