486 Comments
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Fiddlesticks's avatar

I wonder if his doctor has told him not to fly?

Who am I kidding, he's just being the same deadbeat father he's always been.

MsEdgyNation's avatar

It has been brought to my attention that the Bahamas is one of the 38 countries that do not allow felons to visit.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. Weddings are supposed to be joyous occasions (ours most certainly was that). Nothing about Junior getting married will ever spark joy, although I may snicker if $hitler skips it.

ConorFusbol's avatar

Golfing: Wonkette called it

Alyce Catherman's avatar

I wish he’d stand up so we wouldn’t have to look at all those waists. That herniated belly button turns me right the fuck off.

It's a reflecting Jen!'s avatar

I think the problem is it is a small private affair so not as much press and less a chance to make it all about him.

Either that or he is mad Jr. Is not having it at the trash palace and giving Sr money.

What I wanna know is how we taxpayers are footing this bill

Dina's avatar

Maybe Bettina Poopsybritches told Cokey, "This is MY DAY! I don't want that fat bastard here hogging all the limelight!" and Orangini wasn't even invited. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tessie's avatar

"I have a thing called “Iran” and other things."

`

Are the other things groceries?

Tessie's avatar

“Uhhhh. He’d like me to go. But it’s going to be a just a small, little private affair. I’m gonna try and make it. I’m in the midst, I said, you know, ‘This is not good timing for me. I have a thing called “Iran” and other things.’ That’s one I can’t win on. If I do attend, I get killed. If I don’t attend, I get killed. By the fake news, of course, I’m talking about. But no, he’s got a very, uh, person I’ve known for a long time, and hopefully they’re gonna have a great marriage.”

`

One thousand percent he forgot who and/or what he was talking about somewhere around the word "Iran".

mzf's avatar

Why isn't Junior getting married in the US of A?

Were they all booked up at Mar-a-Lago, or Bedminster, of Doral, or Trump International, or the Moscow Hilton (whatever)?

easelox is on timeout's avatar

Wife’s family refused to travel to USA?

It's a reflecting Jen!'s avatar

I am guessing that is why Trump is miffed, cause he is not having it at a Trump resort where Trump can make it all about him.

eddi-SABH's avatar

Tulsi Gabbard bailed before Trump could fire her. With a classic and excellent excuse. Kilmar Abrego Garcia is now a free man. with a judge's decision that opens the golden gate to a lawsuit against everybody in DOJ, CBP, DHS and the entire Executive Branch of the US government. With a side dish of the El Salvador treasury and slush funds.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

If I could only have one wish, and it would have to be a stupid wish that wouldn't improve my situation in any way, I'd like to be the fly on the wall at the reading of Trump's will to watch the looks on Don, Jr.'s and Eric's faces when they find out what Ivanka pulled off under their noses.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Fake news has it out for Trump whether he attends his son's wedding or not just because he is spending billions on an unnecessary war, and unnecessary ballroom, and unnecessary arc, an unnecessary slush fund for criminals. Damn fake press, why you so mad?

John Thorstensen's avatar

Those golf balls won't lose themselves.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

"If I do attend, I get killed. If I don’t attend, I get killed. By the fake news, of course, I’m talking about."

Unbelievable. This guy frets about what the media will say if he attends his own son's wedding.

Stuart's avatar

So... now he's the first president lacking a dog or cat, and now he'll be the first to boycott his own son's wedding. What's next?

Kay Ducky's avatar

Going to jail for the rape of children would be a start.