580 Comments
User's avatar
Viole Falusche's avatar

The polls are so close because that's what the people paying for them want them to say.

Hank Napkin's avatar

In these closing days expect Sir to start in with the "Lebensraum" argument. Sir's shirt collars are too tight for his wattle. Sir's trouser legs aren't wide enough to conceal Sir's bandy-legged-ness. And don't get Sir started on Sir's waistband or the length of Sir's ties or the ridiculously limited capacity of Sir's diapers. "What the fuck am I suppos'd to do with all this shit?" Sir bellows, presidentially.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Marcie. Pay no attention to that poll behind the curtain. Only voting counts. We must vote in such overwhelming numbers that all their efforts to cheat, steal, intimidate, and lie come to nothing.

DrBDH's avatar

Drain the swamp by diverting it into the White House.

Runfastandwin's avatar

WTF J. Merrick Garland? Where arts thou have been lo these last 4 years?

Gern Blansten's avatar

“So you’re applying for— Secretary of State, is that correct Mr, uh Mr— I can’t read this —is this Cyrillic?”

“Da, you say ‘Mr Putin’.”

If the PAFB makes it back in office, we will effectively become a client state of Russia.

Bupkus231's avatar

Did any of them even offer an alternative to FBI background checks? Or are they all just figuring getting rid of them would automatically allow them access to classified information?

As someone who has gone through a few of them during my career, I have no problem with FBI background checks - of course, I don't a criminal history or reasons to fear being compromised by my actions, like so MANY of PAB's cronies

The G-7 Experience's avatar

PPPfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!

mzf's avatar

Perhaps tЯump will contract with the KGB, at Vlad's suggestion, for a reduced cost security clearance regime.

House of the Blue Lights's avatar

So here's one way the polls maybe are weirdly close: I got a poll on my phone this morning, and thought what the heck, I'll answer for once. About 10 questions in (the first 9 or so were zip, age, income, gender, etc.) the question was "who will you vote for President. And the choices were Joe Biden, Donald Trump, and a bunch of third party non-starters. Was Kamala Harris on that poll? No, no she was not. (I didn't complete it)

mzf's avatar

They probably get paid by the number of contacts rather than what the contacts say. They could probably make a "killing" by going to last years's obituary pages.

UVB-76's avatar

Stupid tricks catch stupid animals, clearly you don't fit their demographic.

GrannysKnitting's avatar

under Trump you will only get a job in the WH if you are a criminal, a nut, a spy, or an addict

Tyrone Mercer's avatar

And if you check all four then it's "Hello Mr. Secretary Musk!"

The G-7 Experience's avatar

Why even have a Cabinet? They can't 25th you if there's no one home....

Tyrone Mercer's avatar

Now that is some 3d chess!

Glennis Waterman's avatar

So who's he gonna have do it?

RRJKR's avatar

Himself, of course.

Karen Krebser's avatar

But, I mean, how else are they going to convince the rubes that all the Pizzagate criminals who did Benghazi to Trump's emails so that AOC could get the *special* white baby flesh-serum released to the illegal alien rapist murderers who are weaponizing cat-hats all over Springfield so that they can secretly become crying white women if the FBI isn't around to Deep State it? Hennnngh???

Fleur de Sel's avatar

Marcie is ON FIRE today! Such good work, brilliant lady!

mvario's avatar

It was orders from Putin, Trump couldn't refuse.

DemoCat's avatar

It’s funny that Trump and his “administration” would poo poo FBI security clearances. Trump surely knows his wish list of trolls would be a nightmare for the FBI to actually clear, without some kind of Trump exception/waiver.

Another GOP official, a former member of national security, was asked if he believes Trump has an actual plan for mass deportation. He said, “not that I’m aware of.” When asked if it was realistic, he said “why not? We’ve done it before.” When asked if it was worth the hundreds of billions it would cost to deport even 1 million illegal immigrants, he said, “is there any limit on the value of national security?” So, checks on government employees isn’t necessary, but deporting people will somehow make America safer. I didn’t hear the journalist ask HOW deporting millions of people will bolster national security, but I’m sure it’s just details.

Sunshine Moonshine's avatar

I submitted my job application today. Cross fingers, light candles, dance naked in the moonlight, eat a ceremonial sushi celebration lunch.

There will be a background check. It's unlikely that it will be as rigorous as the FBI check, which I'm sure I wouldn't pass, because I am bad at money and they don't like that. Although, it's unlikely I'd sell national secrets for the balance of my student loan debt.

I've passed plenty of background checks in the past for working with kids and at-risk groups, and I betcha the average clown in a T/V Whitehouse couldn't pass a background check to volunteer in an elementary school. Felons and abusers and felonious abusers. Losers.

SkeptiKC's avatar

Wishing you the very best luck; I hope you get one of those promising call backs.