Trump Will Give Blue States Coronavirus Aid, Just Needs ONE TEENY TINY 'Favor Though'

NO QUID PRO QUO!

Golly, that Pam Karlan impeachment witness lady sure was correct, wasn't she! In case you forgot impeachment, because it was so many decades ago, constitutional expert Karlan compared Trump's "I would like you to do us a favor though" extortion of Ukraine with a hypothetical wherein the president would try to withhold hurricane disaster aid from a state, unless they "brand my [political opponent] a criminal." Karlan's example was hurricanes, but pandemic works too.

This week Trump threatened to withhold coronavirus aid from states with cities that have sanctuary city policies, because of how Trump hates Mexicans a whole lot, because of how he is a wild-eyed mouthy bigot.

It came up in an answer in one of his many press conferences this week, the ones we thought he said he was going to stop doing because of how every time he speaks, more people die of coronavirus or related causes:

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Trump whined about not wanting to bail out (blue) states for "25 years of bad management," which echoes the extortion line Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has been saying this week, about how he doesn't want to give out "blue state bailouts" unless he can put those states in a headlock and force them to enact Republican policies to protect big business.

And then Trump demanded "sanctuary city adjustments" from blue cities, saying he doesn't even think sanctuary city policies are popular with "radical left folks," because when you are a white bigot, you almost always think everybody else secretly agrees with your bigotry but is too shy to say so.

"If it's COVID-related, I guess we can talk about it, but we'd want certain things also, including sanctuary-city adjustments," he told a White House event meant to promote measures to help businesses during the pandemic.

"That's one of the things I think about," he added. "If we were going to do something for the states, I think they'd probably want something having to do with sanctuary cities and other different points that we can discuss a little later on."

That's that demented word salad babbling we love to hear from Donald Trump.

So Trump just wants to extort blue cities and states into letting his ICE act like a common Gestapo toward immigrants, in exchange for federal help surviving a pandemic. He didn't mention asking them to make up some dirt on Joe Biden, but we bet he wouldn't mind that either. And if they won't, maybe he just won't help!

Trump has been trying to force states and cities to get rid of sanctuary policies since the beginning, there's hardly any need to rehash it all here. It's been one of the primary features of his presidency, because of how he's a bigot. He tried to pull this sort of extortion with an executive order way back in 2017. Obviously now he and his Hitler mini-me Stephen Miller think maybe they have the leverage to finally get this done.

So will this amount to anything? Wellllllllllllllll who knows. Obviously, Trump and Mitch McConnell are somewhere in the same playbook this week, so clearly the GOP is on this "let's extort blue states and force them to look like us and dress like us and do Handmaid's Tale shit like us" train together.

But at the same time, Donald Trump expressing his anal glands at a reporter is sometimes just that. The East Room of the White House gets all stinky, but once somebody Lysols the place — NOT THE CORONAVIRUS-CURING LYSOL, DON'T USE THAT! — nothing actually happens.

We made a mistake yesterday. When Trump announced he was HEREBY ORDERING all the meat plants must remain open, we made the mistake of taking him a little bit too seriously — as did most of the media — and forgetting that often when Trump announces a thing, it's something he just kind of made up on the fly because his diaper is full and GRRR ANGRY. But then when the real order comes out, it's some weak sauce cutting-room-floor bullshit his aides gussied up to make him feel better. The GIVE ME MEATS executive order was still bad when it came out, of course, but what he really did was order state governments not to close meat plants. Which ... OK. It's still bad, but not quite what Trump said.

And of course, when Trump "banned immigration" or whatever a couple days/weeks/months/years ago, to protect Americans from the hordes of immigrants who are storming our borders and taking all the jobs that don't exist during the pandemic, the executive order that came out really didn't do shit about fuck.

Point is it's always a pretty bad idea to take Donald Trump's words too seriously, because that man is fucking idiot. Let's wait to see what he actually does.

[ Business Insider ]

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