Trump Wonders What Part Of Quid Pro Quo Grifty Dem. Rep. Henry Cuellar Doesn't Understand
Someone run it through Google Translate for the congressman.
Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: Donald Trump is ragingly pissed off at a Democrat.
Okay, you’ve heard that one before. But what if Trump had just pardoned the Democrat, getting him out from under federal corruption charges the Justice Department under Joe Biden indicted him on because he is (ALLEGEDLY) so crooked, he could have a second career as a dowsing rod? And then the Democrat repaid the favor by not becoming a Republican, which Trump apparently and baselessly expected him to do? Might that be a new one?
The congressman in question is Henry Cuellar of Texas. Last week, Trump pardoned Cuellar and his wife, Imelda, both of whom were indicted in 2024 for taking around $600,000 in bribes from a Mexican bank and an Azerbaijani oil and gas company. That didn’t stop Cuellar from winning another term in office last November, though presumably preparing for a trial was going to cut into his time doing nothing because he’s serving in the least productive Congress in history.
Last week, Trump announced he had pardoned the Cuellars after receiving what he called a “beautiful” letter from their daughters, or what other people might call obsequious, fawning, servile, ass-kissy, and incandescent with suck-uppery. To name just a few synonyms off the top of our head:
You can read the letter at TruthSocial where Trump posted it when he announced the pardon. Though we recommend doing so on an empty stomach. Don’t skip the part where one of the daughters claims Trump once told her Cuellar was “a good man,” even while Trump in his Truth announcing the pardon says, “Henry, I don’t know you.”
Still, you can’t blame the Cuellars for trying. You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take. And they very smartly loaded up the letter with references to Cuellar’s efforts to secure the border, along with complimenting Trump’s own compassion towards others. They also mentioned how hard they prayed for the president and his family during his many, many, many, many legal tribulations.
Donald Trump is an egomaniac and a narcissist, and no amount of flattery is ever enough for him. And as many business and political leaders from across the planet have discovered over the years, the man can be easily swayed by obeisant letters.
Last week, newly freed from his legal Bastille, Henry Cuellar announced he would run for re-election as a Democrat. This sent Trump into a paroxysm of rage. Which, like persuading him through flattery, is one of the easiest things a person can do. It’s up there with breathing:
That is ... a lot. But there were a couple lines in particular that caught our eye:
“When the Democrats overwhelmingly lost the 2024 Presidential Election, and power with it, they, regardless, did everything they could to keep going after the Cuellar family.”
Say, President Smooth Brain, who has been leading the Department of Justice for the last 11 months? It isn’t the Democrats! Attorney General Pam Bondi and her lickspittles have been dropping prosecutions against Republicans left and right while going after Democrats on trumped-up charges that keep getting thrown out by judges. It seems reasonable that whatever Trumpian prosecutors are now embedded throughout the DOJ figured they should keep going at Cuellar just because of the D next to his name.
Shoot, Trump himself probably thought the same right up until he got the letter and one of his sycophants explained that Cuellar is the most conservative Democrat in the House.
Trump proceeded to claim that “God was very happy” with him the day he signed Cuellar’s pardon, before yelling that by running again as a Democrat, the congressman is “continuing to work with the Radical Leftist Scum” that had wanted, and probably still want, to send him to prison for the rest of his life.
He went on:
“Such a lack of LOYALTY, something that Texas Voters, and Henry’s daughters, will not like. Oh well, next time, no more Mr. Nice guy!”
Apparently, Trump expected Cuellar to be so grateful that he would switch parties. There is no indication Cuellar ever said he would, but it is the sort of thing Trump would invent in his addled brain. (Or that he would believe if somebody equally galaxy-brained suggested it to him, like back in the day when Jared Kushner helped convince him that the way to Democrats’ heart would be to commute the sentence of Rod Blagojevich.)
Trump’s reaction very much puts the lie to his claim that he was being truly merciful. As with everything with Trump, the pardon was transactional: you get your freedom, I get something in return. Cuellar seems to have missed the memo. (Because Trump forgot to actually send it.)
On Sunday, Maria Bartiromo hosted Cuellar on her Fox show to talk about the whole mess. Sitting in front of his family’s Christmas stockings hanging from a mantle (a nice touch), Cuellar ranted for a while about the alleged weakness of the case against him, how he had been set up because the Biden administration was mad at him, and that he wants the Republicans in Congress to investigate the investigators.
Bartiromo, who has yet to meet a crackpot talking point about Democratic “lawfare” that she won’t spout, brought up Trump’s Truth and asked the obvious question: why isn’t Cuellar switching parties?
The congressman responded:
“I was at church this morning with my wife. I prayed for the president, I prayed for his family, and I prayed for the presidency, because if the president succeeds, the country succeeds.”
All well and good, but what part of quid pro quo does the congressman not understand? The quid? The quo? Does someone need to show him how to run the phrase through Google Translate?
We will offer Cuellar some free advice moving forward: if you want to keep running up $58,000 in credit card debt and paying it off with ill-gotten Azerbaijani money, switch parties.
[Truth Social / Truth Social / YouTube]
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I speak fluent Narcissist. Trump is genuinely hurt by this, which makes it even funnier. SAD.
Sorry for the OT, but I have good news to share:
No new stroke. MRI was clear. Neurologist cleared me. Speech and physical therapists cleared me. Apparently it is possible to have stroke-like symptoms after having a stroke without having a new one.
I’m being discharged today. Hooray!!!
Unfortunately I now have to figure out how to recover financially from missing three days of work. Goddamnit.