TRUMP WOULD ALSO TOO LIKE TO MAKE OVAL OFFICE ADDRESS LIKE REAL PRESIDENT!
Or at least equal time! Unfair! Waaaaaaaah!
Bless Donald Trump’s heart, it may not have sunk into his rodent brain yet that Joe Biden is not running for re-election. Indeed, this might be the case for his entire team.
Last night, President Biden, who is the president, addressed the nation. President Biden is the president of the United States, which means he gets to live in the White House and work in the Oval Office. President Biden got to be the president because in 2020, millions more Americans voted for him to be president than voted for his opponent, because his opponent is the most hated, mocked man in human history.
And when he — the president — decides it’s appropriate that he address the nation, he might do it from his office, the Oval Office, so named because of its distinctive oval shape. (Can Trump draw an OVAL?)
Again, last night, during President Biden’s address, he explained that he, the president, is not running for re-election, and why. This was not a surprise, as it was announced Sunday, four days ago. But he wanted Americans to hear it from his presidential face.
We are explaining this slowly like we’re talking to a real idiot toddler because Trump’s team sent a letter before last night’s address DEMANDING ALL THE NETWORKS GIVE TRUMP EQUAL TIME TO TALK TO THE NATION, IF THEY ARE AIRING JOE BIDEN’S ADDRESS, UNFAIR, WAAAAAAAAAAAH!
They wrote these letters to ABC, NBC and CBS.
The “legal” reasoning, such as there ever is with one of Trump’s dipshit mouthbreather lawyers, is that because Biden would probably mention his endorsement of Kamala Harris, then Trump should get equal time to endorse … himself? We don’t know, like we said, these people are fucking dipshits.
Based on that assumption, [Trump lawyer David] Warrington wrote, “it appears that President Biden’s speech will not be a bona fide news event, but rather, a prime-time campaign commercial.” Citing the Federal Communications Commission’s “equal time” rule, Mr. Warrington insisted that Mr. Trump be given similar time on air, arguing that Mr. Biden’s address was a “campaign speech,” even as Mr. Biden is no longer technically a candidate for the presidency.
Sure thing, buddy.
As it happened, Biden mentioned Harris, but only brushed up against the issue, speaking in more sweeping terms about what Americans must now do, the choice that’s now in front of them. (Wonkette will have more on that later this morning.)
As the New York Times explains — slowly, as if to idiots — Mr. Biden is not a candidate for president anymore, so it really doesn’t matter how much he’s on TV, but even if he were, he is the president, and the law governing equal time for candidates has exceptions for sitting presidents who have newsworthy things to say. It’s that whole “president” thing.
And if you want to be president in July of 2024, well, maybe you should have gotten 81 million votes and 306 electoral votes in 2020, instead of 74 million and 232, like unpopular deadbeat loser Trump did.
In related news, the same Trump lawyer is whining at the Federal Election Commission about Joe Biden rolling his campaign funds directly over to Kamala Harris. Like, who does she think she is, the other person on the original “Biden/Harris” ticket? Oh she is?
Well anyway WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH what a bunch of whinyass sons of bitches.
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I like presidents who aren't convicts.
Trending on the Googles: the sobriquet "Sofa King" for J. D. Vance.
Also, my 87-year-old father, who ACTUALLY lives in Appalachia (the real part, Ohio coal country, across the river from West Virginia and down near Kentucky) calls Vance's book "Hillbilly Lethargy."
That is all.