492 Comments
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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. TFG was never a president; he was always Putin's puto.

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insert_something_creative's avatar

I originally read that as "Putin's potato" and thought, that works too.

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Teddy Barnes's avatar

Putin's Puto......GOTTA LOVE IT!!!!! I'ma gonna be using that now.......with permission of course......

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Zyxomma's avatar

Permission granted.

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Teddy Barnes's avatar

You honor me with this small indulgence........gracias....

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zb23's avatar

why doesn't he find a tiny lil desk and a presidential seal and make one of his cute President Jr. play areas again?

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Revenant's avatar

A Legoland Presidential playset, includes Oval Office, Resolute desk and special phone direct to The Boss in Moskva and Lego Secret Service agents.

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Biff52 is Tariffied's avatar

That orange SOB and his army of lawyers have broken me.

Fuck my life.

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Axomamma's avatar

His tears give me life.

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Manic Pixel Dream Girl's avatar

Different verse, same as the first. It is inconceivable to the shitlord that other people: 1) exist 2) think differently from him. If Biden is doing a prime time speech at this incredible moment in our history it is because he is a president who just surprised the world by deciding to end his campaign for reelection. He did it because he is selfless, a patriot, and recognizes that the lack of spring in his step may indeed be suggesting that he should do what he can now, retire as an elder statesman with dignity and enjoy the winter of his years.

These are all things Trump wouldn’t recognize with a magnifying glass, a shot of B12, and an answer sheet. So naturally, given who he is, he assumes it can only be a campaign speech for Kamala. Who was not the one making the speech because, again, not currently president, so equal time doesn’t apply. So Trump, and his minions who are in no way getting paid enough for their souls, pursue this shit. Eventually, Trump will retire from this Earth. And when he does it will be after having never known what true sacrifice or patriotism means. He doesn’t need to go away mad. He just needs to go away.

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Revenant's avatar

Remember how many times he violated the Hatch Act (n.b. with impunity) using the White House for partisan political appearances?

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Manic Pixel Dream Girl's avatar

Yup. Every accusation a confession. As ever.

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Jim Parker's avatar

I tried to find a more appropriate post for this comment, but none seems to be available, so this is way OT. Got a text from my son last night. A year and a half ago I had the honor of officiating my son's wedding to a wonderful man. They both love each other dearly. Well, people who just can't mind their own f'ing business are out to make my son's, his husband's, and countless others lives difficult, again. https://www.newsweek.com/same-sex-marraige-kim-davis-kentucky-federal-court-obergefell-1929498 Ah, yes, everyone's least favorite ignorant southern bigot, Kim Davis, is at it again. Well, she's just the face of an equally ignorant, bigoted Florida group using the ironic name of Liberty Group. I can never understand why these bigoted f*cks use "Freedom" and "Liberty" in their names when freedom and liberty are what they want to deprive others of. If Kim and the "Liberty" people don't like same-sex marriages, then don't f*ing get same-sex married. I don't know what Kimmie does in the privacy of her home. Being a resident of Kentucky, one can only imagine the potential abuse of farm animals, or even small woodland creatures at her or her family or friends hands (or other body parts!). But we should all be aware of this new attack, especially if you have loved ones who experienced the joy of being able to marry the person they love. This attack on personal rights and "freedom" has been slapped down before, but should this get to our oh, so fair minded Supreme Court, teh Constitution and precedent will be damned. Not sure what to do next except ask everyone to be aware of this and spread the word that this kind of bigotry and hate will not be tolerated. Let us not allow this issue to slip by even in the face of so many other pressing issues. On behalf of my son, my son-in-law, and thousands of other loving couples, I thank you for your time in reading this. Fuck these damn bigoted, hateful, "Christian" bastards.

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Lil Snot's avatar

Considering the fact that the PAB administration left the Hatch act looking like a slice of Swiss cheese, this is pretty rich...

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Dave's Not Here's avatar

"Dear So and so,

"... We thought you should know some asshole is signing your name to stupid letters..."

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Elendira's avatar

sounds like a campaign funds that spent all its money on lawyers and "Biden is Old," and doesn't have enough money to buy its on TV ad spots.

Desperation

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Hunk's avatar

Did you guys hear that rumor about Vance?

It is SOFA KING CRAZY!

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Bruce's avatar

And it's spread like wildfire, meaning his handlers are going to need to carefully vet any on-camera appearance to make sure he's in a chair not a sofa :-) Is it purely juvenile? Yes, yes it is, and it's GLORIOUS. mocking fascists drives them bugfuck (or couchfuck!) crazy.

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zb23's avatar

have you heard the one about sparkling water?

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Bel-Ami's avatar

Is funny (and possibly the only amusing thing about him) BUT-despite "page numbers" on the quote- it is not in his book.

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Hunk's avatar

I know, that's why I used the word "rumor".

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Barney Rubble's avatar

I'm reminded of someone, Rick Wilson I think, suggesting that the best thing to do with Trump was to give him a show on Fox called "President Trump Decides" or some shit, where he could wander onto an Oval Office themed set and pretend like he's President every day.

Basically like Disneyland for idiotic, dementia-addled dictator-wannabes.

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Manic Pixel Dream Girl's avatar

That’s a great idea! It’d be like Judge Judy for fascists! He can pretend he’s still president in a controlled environment of no consequence and MAGA supporters can come plead their various cases to him like the fictional king he thinks he is.

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Major Is My Spirit Animal's avatar

He'd insist on making it pay-per-view and his idiot supporters would gladly pony up $24.99 a month to see him talk about sharks and electric boats and Hannibal Lecter for the umpty-millionth time.

Let's not give him any further ideas about how to leverage the stupidity of his followers.

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Nae Kings!'s avatar

I hope Joe is looking forward to being reunited with Commander, I’m sure he’s way better company than the scavengers who have been circling his human for months. Probably, the folks he bit were in the process of mentally disparaging OHJB and Commander was NOT HAVING IT.

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Blanche de Shambles's avatar

This coming from the guy who literally did campaign events in the Rose Garden (which his horrid wife also destroyed- some of us haven't forgotten).

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Ho͛gͦͥeͬ͒yeGr̰̻̜e̬̞̠x͔'s avatar

Every single thing those people did needs to be undone. And I mean that in the broadest sense.

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Tessie's avatar

"NOOOO!! PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEE!! ME ME ME MEEEE!!"

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Tessie's avatar

"then Trump should get equal time to endorse … himself?"

`

"Something something sharks... Something something batteries... The late, great Hannibal Lecter... Something something snakes... They don't want you to have water... They don't want you to have cement... The late, great Hannibal Lecter... Immigrants... My daughter is so hot... CHIIIY-NUH... Gawd blesh the Unitey Shtatesh."

There, I just saved you guys 90 minutes.

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Gammarae's avatar

it doesn't matter how stupid it is, these people always have to have their yaps flapping and take all the air out of the room. never give anybody else a chance to get any attention.

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tehbaddr's avatar

PAB is a litigious shitweasel and his "lawyers" are chittering anal chiggers!

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