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User's avatar
Parakeetist's avatar

Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit 🐸

M-X's avatar

I am happy you did not hurt it or not much, as I know you are. I think it loves you.

Babe Paley's avatar

Holy Jesus!

But also—shoe toad is very cute!

M-X's avatar
17mEdited

It yells if you stick your foot in there!!

lotsacatsndogs's avatar

Y'all, haven't seen a toad in our yard for decades, tonight in the dark go outside and put my foot into my ratty garden clogs like I always do, and there's something in there and it squeaks. I tump it out, and is a toad, and it hops away and I worried I had hurt it. Go back out hours later for last dog outing before bed, something in my shoe AGAIN, and it was that freaky toad!! Damn--twice in one night?!

Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

I lived in the Mojave Desert for a long time. I never put on footwear without shaking it out first. Toad would have been a treat compared to the scorpions, millipedes and bitey spiders that were more common out there.

I created a frog habitat here. I've got irrigation water in the ditch out back and I dug a lateral and a pond in the yard. I figured if I build it they will come. Nah. They have to be "from" the water and return to it. A friend gave me a bucket of tadpoles a few years ago and I've had frogs every summer ever since! I love 'em.

lotsacatsndogs's avatar

I love 'em too, but where did this one come from?? Kept the dogs from seeing it, but worry they would torment if they found on their own. There's a fenced spot I could try putting a toad house in though...

ShrillKitty's avatar

Clearly there is a message here

And it is, quit sticking your foot in that poor toad's house

YaJagoff's avatar
1hEdited

The following artists will take the stage during the grand opening of the Obama Presidential Center:

Bruce Springsteen

Christina Aguilera

Common

Eddie Vedder

Jennifer Hudson

John Legend

Marsai Martin

Marc Anthony

Stevie Wonder

Tems

The Roots

U2's Bono and The Edge

Zyxomma's avatar

The concert is Juneteenth Eve starting at 11 a.m. Central time; find the livestream at obama.org and enjoy!

Count Awesome's avatar

I bet they could have had a lot more acts, but only so much time.

CzechJournalists's avatar

if Taylor Swift goes too that might make for the big one. . .

ShrillKitty's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

Loserpaloser versus this

🤣🤣🤣

Obama wins again!

🤣🤣🤣

Babe Paley's avatar

I was about to lose my mind trying to figure out this song in my head—couldn’t think of the band or title and the few lyrics I knew I wasn’t sure of…this happens a LOT because music is always running through my head.

It’s painful when it’s just so close but you can’t quite hear it!

It was “Blue “ by the Jayhawks.

You have no idea how nice it was to name it and clean it out of my head !

Babe Paley's avatar

And then I see YouTube put together a playlist and now I know 5 other songs that sound like this that like and sit in my head…

DemoCat's avatar

Gutfeld unknowingly admitted what really motivates MAGA types - causing pain, fear or distress to people they don’t like. So, if hosting cage matches on the White House lawn upsets people who regard that location as an important institution, all the better. That’s why MAGA stormed the Capitol and broke windows and stole podiums and pooped on desks. They are miserable people who cannot see any healthy relief from their pain. They must hurt others, and watching other people hurt provides some form of sadistic satisfaction. “Hurt people hurt people.” Gutfeld and conservatives have long found comfort in causing distress to smart people, diverse people, talented people, kind people and really anyone they don’t identify with, or are jealous of.

Zyxomma's avatar

Update from the pied-à-nuage: Adorable and adored husband Meccalopolis and I FaceTimed for the very first time (when his Samsung died after many years, he got an iPhone), and I was pleased to tell him *and* now you that Ebony received her final dose of oral medication. I still have to put ointment in her ears in the morning, and while she doesn't like it, she doesn't fight it, and there's always a tube treat after meds. We think she's going to be okay; already getting into mischief. She was clawing at Meccalopolis's half rubber winter boots so I put them in the closet; she can't open it. It's bedtime so I bid you good night, beloved Wonketteers. We love and appreciate you all and we bless us all with love, health, peace, and grace. Be kind, especially to yourself, and please, please stay safe.

Slava Ukraini. 🌻🇺🇦💙💛

Parakeetist's avatar

Sweet to hear! :) :)

I wish Uue and yr Huzbing good sleepy-times.

Chirp chirp. :) :)

Zyxomma's avatar

Alas, I'm in Undisclosed Location in Delaware County NY and he's at the apartment in the East Village. Nyla (the floof tabby, not the black tortie who's recovering) sleeps with me, and her purr is very soothing, but I miss my very personal heat pump. He'll be here Thursday, and we're going back to The City together Sunday. Next week is his last at school. We are so looking forward to being retired together! You sleep well too, our fine feathered friend.

Parakeetist's avatar

Yay!!!

A thamke. 😊😊😊

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Fox: the water is blue. Don’t believe your liberal eyes.

https://youtu.be/lLrKS3Ym7l8?is=deoIy0R7u4gmzcKm

paul's avatar

Next, he will tell his cultists to come and bathe in the blue green algae- prfectly safe. And they will do so. I will support it.

ShrillKitty's avatar

It is blue - it's just that the whole F250 crowd peed in it

Cajun Kid's avatar

Nah. I went in and peed in it after my last MRI with contrast. It's just a good thing the pool is so big or it would be glowing right now.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

IKR? That was HILARIOUS. "There are pool guys putting chemicals into the water right now! Everything is under control!"

But he was topped by the guy from NewsNation or some such place who said the algae were a Deep State conspiracy. Those microorganisms were paid by Soros!

Oh, and according to the White House, it's all Biden's fault. And Obama's.

Even settling on an excuse is beyond these people.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, CJ, I'd never seen Rick and Morty before.

CzechJournalists's avatar

even actual real life smart guy Neil deGrasse Tyson mentioned it during Colbert's last episode.

Birb-General of the US's avatar

From the Dworkin Report

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘎7 𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘵, 𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘢 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮—𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦. 𝘌𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘸𝘢𝘳 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘴, 𝘗𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴.

“𝘞𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘳. 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱,” 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘳 𝘍𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘕𝘺𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘳. “𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘴.”

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘐𝘳𝘢𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘌𝘱𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘪𝘯—𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯, 𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯.

𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰’𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘴.

https://www.dworkinsubstack.com/p/the-regime-couldnt-make-any-of-it

TheGreatAndPowerfulMormos!'s avatar

Trump was right - I am tired of "winning".

Bitter Scribe's avatar

If the Iranians are as shrewd as I think they are, they'll string out the negotiations with JD and Jared and Witkoff and the rest of the clown car, renewing the ceasefire every 60 days as needed, until they reach, point by excruciatingly bargained-over point, exactly the same deal that Obama gave them. If not a better one.

By then Trump will have long checked out of the process. He'll claim victory, Fox News will proclaim him a genius, so will his base, and it'll be off to the next idiocy.

Rags's avatar

They have all the leverage now. Every delay they concoct from here on out is a boot in the keister for TFG. Not that he will be aware of it, of course.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Bibi and Iran played the idiot like a fiddle.

Spleen Victoria's avatar

All Trump wanted was some kind of something he could announce on his birthday. Everything else is someone else’s problem because he’s bored now.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

If the Iranians are as shrew as anyone with a brain that has not been the eaten by a brainworm or infested with spirochetes, they are working out a deal with North Korea to get a nuke because the US can't be trusted to abide by the terms Fatberg signs. Either Fatberg will renege when the US is bogged down in Cuba or a sane president will insist on going back to the Obama agreement.

Stulexington's avatar

Oh, unless they get war reparations, complete withdrawal of US forces from the area and proceeds from passage through the strait they're probably going to stall until there's a sane administration in charge. Then they'll probably negotiate the Obama deal only better, provided Trump didn't kill all the adults in the room.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Kill them how? With his odor?

Stulexington's avatar

I'm referring to how he killed most of the leadership in his opening bombardment.

Snarfyguy's avatar

It's a foregone conclusion.

Clammed Can Monster's avatar

Yannis & The Yaw - Walk Through Fire feat. Tony Allen

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QPPT_FrH5zw&ra=m

Baconzgood's avatar

Joe (my comedy writing partner. We wrote a couple skits as a hobby for a lark) just asked me "would you murderer a total stranger or your son? Keep in mind your 7 year old son is Hitler.

Weird fuckin' question. But Joe always viewed life in a parallax. I give him that.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

What if YOU made him Hitler?

ShrillKitty's avatar

Your buddy has a weird spin on fuck-marry-kill

Baconzgood's avatar

Joe probally invented that game in 1989.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Both, happily, then the person who asked the question, then that guy who annoyed me in the supermarket today.

Resource NW's avatar

It's like potato chi... ummm crisps. You can't stop at just one, and the next ones get easier and easier.

ShrillKitty's avatar

I don't usually put sea salt and malt vinegar powder on my felony crime scenes but you do you

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

I would throw the cops off my trail by putting gravy on the Fries Scene so they think I am Canadian.

beebo jr's avatar

but you wouldn't want the mounties after you!

CzechJournalists's avatar

they melt at my latitude.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

Is my 7 year old Hitler son operating the trolley switch?

Bitter Scribe's avatar

𝘛𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘐𝘧 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘈𝘳𝘺𝘢𝘯 𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦,

𝘓𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦.

--from "Even Hitler Had a Mother," a British music-hall number from 1939

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

Mary Trump was a more perceptive mother because she knew Fatberg was scum from day one.

BlueSpot's avatar

Mary Trump was the chicken-wire mother.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

They still had hopes for peace at that point.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

I read an interesting analysis that claimed Chamberlain had no false pretenses about going to war with Germany, but they needed to buy time to build up their defenses, so he did the peace in our time thing to buy that time. I am not sure if its true or revisionist but it is interesting if true.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

I'm more inclined to believe what I read, which is that appeasement of Hitler, far from being a dirty word to the British public just before the war, in fact had its wholehearted support. Chamberlain wanted to avoid war because the English people did. The problem was, they were locked in a contest of chicken with a homicidal/suicidal madman.

Snarfyguy's avatar

What a misbegotten venture.

Snarfyguy's avatar

When is your seven year-old son not Hitler in a thought experiment?

Baconzgood's avatar

Here is another, basic thought experiment we discuss: Nuclear waste needs to be buried for 20,000 years. How do you convey to people 20,000 years from now that is a place to not mine or farm in?

Can you speak Latin? That was only 2,000 years ago. So language is dismissed. Fences will decay. Etc etc.

We discuss things like that.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

I started taking Latin in Jr High. The. two years of Jr High counted as one year in high school for graduation purposes. And it really helped me with English grammar. Then when I got to High School, the district swapped the two Latin teachers. The new one insisted on correcting our pronunciation. We joked that she was in fact old enough to know how it was pronounced in the empire days. My response was it is unlikely that I will ever speak to the Pope, and if I did, he probably speaks English so I transferred to French and had to start my foreign language requirement all over.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

If I'm going to put in the effort to learn a foreign language, I'd rather it be one that's spoken by actual, living people.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

I prefer to not speak to people, so a written language is fine by me. And Latin is used as the basis for many terms in law, the sciences.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

That's biohazard, not radiation.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

But my joke doesn't work with the correct symbol ;)

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

Hey, its one of those things to change the size of the record hole. There must be a lot of 45's buried here...

Baconzgood's avatar

I dont even know how that is. Did he pitch for the White Sox?

FrancescoTheMagnificent's avatar

Nah. Played guitar for the Doors.