Trumps Whine As NYAG Letitia James Kicks Their Ass All Over The Docket

Don't start no shit, won't be no shit.

A month ago, New York Attorney General Letitia James sued Donald Trump, his eponymous business, and his three eldest children alleging a pattern of fraudulent conduct spanning decades. In the intervening four weeks, the family has assiduously ducked the process server, attempted to get the case moved to the Commercial division and out of Justice Arthur Engoron's courtroom, and established a brand spanking new company the exact same day the AG filed suit.

Want to guess what the name of that company is?

Trump Organization II LLC.

We shit you not.

AG James, the OG highlighter girl , has also been busy. Last week she filed a motion requesting (1) an independent monitor to ensure that the Trump Organization doesn't file any more hinky financial statements, (2) an injunction to stop them moving money into the new company, and (3) permission to serve the former president and his dingbat son Eric electronically, since they're being such pissants about it. And, as she's done throughout the three years it took her to get these goobers to cooperate with her investigation, she seized on their non-compliance as an opportunity to put their shit on the public docket.

In fact, she put a whole lot of shit on the docket. So if anyone wants to wade through all 71 EXHIBITS in support of the motion to show cause why the court should appoint the monitor and grant the injunction, the case number is 452564/2022, and you should have at it! 

Some fun highlights include deposition transcripts of Don Sr. and Eric throwing a tantrum about WITCH HUNT, then taking the Fifth and refusing to answer any questions.

"This is the greatest witch hunt in the history of our country. There has never been another president or perhaps even another politician who has been persecuted, harassed and in every other way unfairly treated like President Donald J. Trump," the former president began, vomiting out several hundred words we've all heard before and no one needs to hear again. Although this little colloquy comparing decades of lies about his finances to a bum weather report is the Lord's holy perfection:

Anyone in my position not taking the Fifth Amendment would be a fool, an absolute fool. One statement or answer that is ever so slightly off, just ever so slightly by accident, by mistake, such as it was a sunny beautiful day, when actually it was slightly overcast, would be met by law enforcement at a level seldom seen in this country, because I've experienced it. The United States Constitution exists for this very purpose, and I will utilize it to the fullest extent and defend myself against this malicious attack by this administration, this Attorney General's Office, and all other attacks on my family, my business and our country.

Meteorologists can breathe a sigh of relief with Donald Trump standing up for their interests. Ditto "our country."

Young Eric's deposition shitfit read more or less along the same lines, except, because his was taken on October 5, 2020, during the campaign, he promised that the Supreme Court was going to git that dang Tish James.

The United States Supreme Court has stated that prosecutors are prohibited from engaging in arbitrary fishing expeditions, initiating investigations out of malice or an intent to harass, or using the power to try and interfere with a President's official duties. Furthermore, the Supreme Court has made it very clear that any effort to manipulate a President's policy decisions or retaliate against a President for official acts through the issuance of a subpoena is unconstitutional.

Adorbz!

Here on Planet Earth, that never happened. Although the Trumps did file one of their signature LOLsuits in federal court demanding someone make that mean AG lady stop picking on them.

“Eric Trump says Letitia James suing Trump violates the constitution”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1641869389 

Spoiler Alert:  FUCK OFF .

Weirdly enough, Don Jr. was as chatty with the AG as he is on social media.

Guess he didn't get the memo. Musta been in the men's room. AHEM.

In the meantime, Justice Engoron scheduled a show cause hearing for 10 a.m. on October 31 for the Trumps to explain -- to the very court they stonewalled for so long on discovery that they got themselves held in contempt -- why they're such avatars of trustworthiness that they can be trusted to submit clean financials and not move their assets out of the jurisdiction.

Trick or treat, assholes.

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