Trusted D.C. Source Says GOP Congressman Aaron Schock Is Gay

Oooo, is this Gay Day? Is it always like this around here?

Well look: Firstly, we do not really want to be in the "outing the gay people" business. But that does happen in Washington with the Republican senators and congressman every few months, so it seems we're on that beat for the time being. Plus, this guy is a pro-torture creep who very aggressively fought against the protection of hate-crimes legislation for homosexuals attacked for being homosexuals,which happens a lot.

So, this nice man Princess Sparkle Pony who used to write for Wonkette way back when I was first learning what gay *meant*, well he has this news:  

"Everyone Knows" Aaron Schock Is "Def. Gay"

We are ashamed to say we have not heard of this Rep. Aaron Schock. If you only read Wonkette, you could be forgiven for thinking the only congressperson in America is that scary witch lady, Michele Bachmann. So let's google him. Ohhhhh, look what comes up first:

I'm sorry, but that last picture *screams* gay. It is a sad fact of America 2011 that straight guys never look that good. There are lots of sexy details here: [ Princess Sparkle Pony ]