315 Comments

And that's just the penis.

Expand full comment

That's ok then, cuz you're the guy carrying the gun.

Expand full comment

Sadly, it takes a bit more than just the intel. It takes the desire to act on it.

See: August 6, 2001 Presidential Daily Brief.

But yeah, the TSA is a farce.

Expand full comment

If there's a smell test now, I can see a lot of staycations in my future. (that skunky odour is just a result of my being a trapper, I trap skunks, yeah, that's it... that's the ticket) However... and this is purely me posing a hypothetical question... does anyone think the "terrorists" don't research what the TSA is looking for, in order to avoid/circumvent it? I mean, are they clever-devious or just winging it? Diabolic or dipshit? Help me out here...

Expand full comment

He was voiced by a different actor in the first season, J Elvis Weinstein.

Expand full comment

What does it smell like?

Expand full comment

Open carry-out?

Expand full comment

Stupid and pretentious contagious.

Expand full comment

The Original Bill of Rights to the Constitution of The United States of America:

"Article the sixth... The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

Thanks U.S. government and those that vote for politicians who support the establishment of and/or contiuation of the TSA for violating in good faith the protections of the common person deemed so important that they were included in the original Bill of Rights, the RIGHTS of those governed.

History is replete with unwaivering example of what becomes and befalls the system that purports or conducts themselves in such a manner where the "security" of those governed is used to justify the acts against those same who are governed.

It's sad and unfortunate that the country that truly showed the best promise of offering a light and promise of a better way of living has ultimately used the power and strength of that promise to drag the world back into a repetition of history so desperately and violently fought to avoid.

Expand full comment

Mmm, the enticing odour of a Natural Womanz...

Expand full comment

"Wearing improper attire for location"?

Um, so if you're bundled up because you just left the new glacier that is Boston, and fly to some tropical paradise like Nome, AK, where it's sunny and there are girls in bikinis tossing beach balls at each other and the polar bears who are floating on small ice floes offshore, you're probably a terrorist?

Expand full comment

I agree with this 1000%. Having strong body odor in an enclosed cabin space is indeed domestic terrorism, at least for anyone within 3 or 4 rows of the perpetrator. And bringing an anchovy and limburger sammich from home should be a hanging offense

Expand full comment

Or to get elected to the legislature there, or in Indiana...

Expand full comment

I was at a Sox/Brewers game in Milwaukee once, and sat next to a Sox fan. We chatted a bit, and I asked him how often he came up to Milwaukee to see the Sox, and he said "oh, a couple of times a year". Then he volunteered that this was a good day...the Sox were winning, and the Cubs already lost!

Expand full comment

In practice, TSA doesn't give a shit about this. I've been flying to and from places with a fifty degree temp swing all spring and the only issue is storing all those winter coats in the overhead.TSA would have to profile 90% of the people in the airport based on that criteria.

Expand full comment

Voting the site as an explosive ordnance disposal facility?

Expand full comment