Twitter got weird yesterday. A loud fight had broken out the other day in the House between Democratic Rep. Cedric Richmond and GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz, where Richmond lost his shit at Gaetz and the rest of the white conservative Republicans trying to explain what it's like to be a Black man in America, and moreover, what it's like to have Black sons, living in constant fear that they might be the next ones to get killed by the cops for no reason. Gaetz, a confirmed childless bachelor as far as we all knew, was VERY TRIGGERED by the notion that Richmond might think he cares less for his imaginary Black sons than Richmond cares for people's real Black sons, and Gaetz as usual made an ass of himself.
So yesterday, Gaetz tried to have the last word by suddenly announcing that actually he has a secret 19-year-old Cuban immigrant son (legally, of course) named Nestor, they share no blood, but Nestor is his life, and so on. And Twitter said ... WHAT ? And Twitter said ... he might call you "Daddy," but we are not sure that is your "son." And Twitter said ... no, fuckin' seriously, WHAT? Twitter found past pictures and videos where Gaetz referred to Nestor as "local student" and "House page" and his "helper."
It was a whole thing. So of course Gaetz had to go on the Tucker Carlson white supremacist variety hour last night, to lick his wounds, and also so the proud daddy could introduce Nestor to the world and oh my god it was some weird shit oh my god.
Rep. Matt Gaetz introduces his son Nestor on 'Tucker Carlson Tonight' www.youtube.com
We don't want to transcribe too much of this, because there are times when something is just so weird you need to watch it for yourself. We will give you the summary, though:
Tucker started with a very well-rehearsed monologue about how it's bad to discriminate against people based on the color of their (white) skin. He was upset that Richmond, he alleged, said Gaetz was "not allowed to participate in our system [because he's] the wrong color." (That is not what it was about.)
Tucker, because he is a white supremacist, said it was "disgusting" that Richmond "attacked [Gaetz] on the basis of [his] race." And then it was time for Matt Gaetz to come on! Yay! And Matt Gaetz was ... weird . Yay!
Tucker was like "Cedric Richmond said you're not allowed to participate in the conversation because of your skin color????" Gaetz said of course whites should have the same rights as everybody else, and then without being asked, just started saying words like "Nestor is the light of my life" and "I couldn't imagine loving him any more if he was my own flesh and blood" and Nestor is so great and Matt Gaetz is so proud of him, and so forth.
Gaetz is very upset Congress is discriminating against people based on their (white) skin color. Matt Gaetz has "raised Nestor to believe that in our family, we treat EVERYONE equally."
"Does he learn that at school?" Tucker asked, because Tucker wanted to make a canned talking point about the liberal agenda in schools. But Tucker didn't get to, because there was a SURPRISE! Matt Gaetz was like "Why don't you ask him?" And then Nestor was there! Hooray, Nestor is here now!
Nestor agreed it was unfair of Cedric Richmond to "tell someone they don't understand because of their racial color." He did not call Matt Gaetz "Daddy." He called him "Matt," just like Tucker Carlson called him "Matt," because of how Fox News is a journalism place where they call sitting congressmen "Matt." Nestor seems like a perfectly nice person.
Oh yeah, and Matt Gaetz said he's just really proud that Nestor is "embracing these American values," because remember Nestor is an immigrant (legally, of course), and that's just a totally normal thing to say about your "son."
Like we said, it was fuckin' weird. Enjoy your video time!
( By the way, you don't need to make jokes speculating about gay love in the comments. You just don't. It's all weird enough without your "jokes. ")
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I was literally waiting to hear Gaetz call him his ward.
He looks like evil Donny Osmond.