Tucker Carlson Asks If Satan Created 'Friends' To Turn Everyone Into A Hussy Like Monica
Well, no one told him life was gonna be this way ...
During his time on Fox News, there was a point where it seemed like it would have been nearly impossible for Tucker Carlson to get any wackier — but ever since going off on his own, he’s, well, gone there. Like that time he sat and listened to Roseanne as she explained that Democrats eat babies and are actual, literal, blood-drinking vampires.
Recently, Carlson hosted Lee Strobel, a former Chicago Tribune reporter and atheist turned Jesus freak, for a wide-ranging interview in which they discussed guardian angels, demons, speaking in tongues, ghosts, and, naturally, in the year 2025, the television show “Friends.”
Why “Friends”? Well, according to Strobel, “Friends” was just another vehicle for Satan to make everyone do immoral things like have premarital sex.
Via Mediaite:
“If Satan were smart — which he is — would he go around the country and around the world trying to possess or bother average, everyday people? Well, you know what, [it’s] much more efficient to go to Hollywood and to influence a bunch of people there who are very influential in, let’s say, the entertainment industry,” Strobel said. “And let’s say he encourages them to create films and television shows that are funny and that are creative and are fun, but there’s an underlying message to them that there’s a normalization of immoral activity that makes it normal.”
Friends, the hit show that aired on NBC from 1994 to 2004, is a prime example, Strobel argued.
The program “normalizes multiple sexual partners and that sort of thing — the kind of thing that Satan would love to inculcate into American culture.” He added Friends attracted viewers to “the occult” and “immoral activity” by having characters like Monica, who was played by Courteney Cox, have sex with other characters after a first date.
Carlson joked he was the “only American” who has never watched Friends, but he appeared to agree with Strobel’s larger point about Hollywood.
“I know a lot of people in Hollywood — a lot of people I like, actually — [there are] not too many happy people,” Carlson said. “People really tormented. A real string of wrecked relationships — kids who hate them, trans kids, drug problems. Like, there’s so much of that.”
I’m going to need to point out here, of course, the widely discussed phenomenon of Trump voters whose children hate them and won’t talk to them — especially trans children who have been rejected by their loving, Christian parents. I’d also like to point out that there is a reason why “ignorance is bliss” has had such staying power as an aphorism.
But what about the “Friends” and their good pal, Satan? Did Satan really write and produce an award-winning 10-season television show that remains extremely popular to this very day just to get people to have sex on the first date, which Monica actually only did in the first episode and it was with someone she had actually known for a while? That seems like a lot of effort for what I am pretty certain was a fairly mediocre result.
Hoping to dig deeper, I consulted world-renowned “Friends” expert My Sister, who thought about it for a minute and then recalled that Jon Lovitz guest-starred on the show not once but twice, as a food critic who smoked what some call “The Devil’s Lettuce.”
It’s true. Also, perhaps more damningly, Lovitz played Mephistopheles (AKA, “The Devil”) on “Saturday Night Live,” in a skit with Rosanna Arquette, whose brother David was married to Courteney Cox.
Someone fetch me a murder board and some red string, because clearly, this is all connected! And we’re not even going to get into the time that Ross got his teeth whitened and Phoebe screamed “Demon! Demon!” at him, largely because we must now pivot to the time Anthony Bourdain made a joke about the cast yelling “Hail Satan!” during commercial breaks and a bunch of MAGA people found it years later and thought he was serious (and perhaps murdered for his knowledge of such goings-on).
Erin Elizabeth, wife of anti-vaxxer Joseph Mercola and pal of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., replied to Bourdain’s tweet by citing the fact that Kate Spade’s husband, Andy Spade, wore a mask in public after she died, because Satan requires his followers to do that after they sacrifice for him. Why is this relevant? Because do you know who Andy Spade is? That’s right. He’s David Spade’s brother. David Spade, who appeared in the cartoon feature film Hotel Transylvania alongside one Jon Lovitz, aka Steve, aka Mephistopheles, aka The Devil.
Surely, this all means something. Although, tragically, in recent years, Lovitz has largely stopped being hilarious and started getting MAGA — a truly disturbing phenomena we have seen play out time and time again.
If you were thinking to yourself that this might be peak kooky for Carlson, I hate to disappoint you — but he later asked Strobel if perhaps Satan was responsible for Christian leaders who commit sex crimes and if UFOs have a “spiritual explanation.”
To be fair, this is not the first “Friends” conspiracy theory. There is a theory that the show was actually the “meth-addled fantasy of a homeless Phoebe as she stared through the window of Central Perk,” or that the show takes place in the same universe as “Parks and Rec” and Rachel actually dated Ben Wyatt. Sadly, both of these are at least slightly more plausible than Satan creating the show just to get people to have sex on the first date.
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The only Satan-connected TV show was The Apprentice which tricked gullible people into believing Donald Trump is not a deranged moron who couldn't successfully run a hot dog cart.
Satan wasn't thinking about Friends. He had his hands full keeping the Heritage Foundation intact and running like a well oiled machine.