If We Found Out For First Time That Tucker Was White Supremacist, We'd Freak Out Just Like Fox Did

Thoughts and prayers to Fox News during this time of revelation.

 The New York Times dropped the biggest Tucker Carlson leak so far last night, though we highly doubt it will be the last. Media Matters has been getting some stuff the past couple days, but it hasn't struck us as totally compelling. This one seems like a shot across the bow from Fox News, though, assuming of course that it is Fox News doing the leaking. (They would never!)

All the same, we must say that Fox News is absolutely totally 100 percent full of shit if they actually believe the narrative we're supposed to believe here. According to the Times's reporting, "The discovery of th[is] text message contributed to a chain of events that ultimately led to Tucker Carlson’s firing." Oh boy! What did this text reveal?

Well, are you sitting down?

Tucker Carlson may kind of sorta of be a white supremacist, WE KNOW, WE DIDN'T BELIEVE IT WHEN WE FIRST READ IT EITHER.

And then we remembered watching Tucker ever since he was hired at Fox News and we were like oh yeah , and then we weren't surprised anymore.

So let us simply posit before we take a quick look at this text message Tucker sent just after January 6 that perhaps when Fox News found this text just before the beginning of the Dominion trial, just before they ultimately settled — the text was redacted in filings — it might have perhaps just provided a good pretext for going ahead and firing Tucker.

Ready for the text? Trigger warning for if you have never seen Tucker being white supremacist before.

EXHIBIT 276

Tucker Carlson January 7, 2021 — 04: 18:04 PM UTC

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching video of people fighting on the street in Washington. A group of Trump guys surrounded an Antifa kid and started pounding the living shit out of him. It was three against one, at least. Jumping a guy like that is dishonorable obviously. It’s not how white men fight.

How do white men fight, Tucker? Was the absence of a burning cross or the fact that the Trump guys' heads were uncovered by white hoods offputting or something?

We are just asking.

Oh wait, maybe this is how white men fight. Let's jump in the time machine back to Tucker talking to Dan Abrams and Joe Scarborough on TV in 2007:

CARLSON: Having sex in a public men's room is outrageous. It's also really common. I've been bothered in men's rooms.

The other guys were like HENGGGGH?

CARLSON: I have, I've been bothered in Georgetown Park. When I was in high school.

Tucker stated that he's not "anti-gay in the slightest," but a bit later he told the boys a story he clearly wanted to tell:

ABRAMS: Tucker, what did you do, by the way? What did you do when he did that? We got to know.

CARLSON: I went back with someone I knew and grabbed the guy by the — you know, and grabbed him, and — and —

ABRAMS: And did what?

CARLSON: Hit him against the stall with his head, actually! [laughter]

CARLSON: And then the cops came and arrested him. But let me say that I'm the least anti-gay right-winger you'll ever meet —

Is that how white men fight, Tucker?

 Might Be A Good Time To Remind Y'all Of That Time Tucker Carlson Beat Up A Gay Dude In The Bathroom 

BEEP BEEP BEEP, DOODLY DOOP DOOP! TIME MACHINE SOUNDS BACK TO PRESENT!

We now rejoin the text message Tucker sent on January 7, 2021.

Yet suddenly I found myself rooting for the mob against the man, hoping they’d hit him harder, kill him.

Psycho.

I really wanted them to hurt the kid. I could taste it.

He was watching Trump idiots beat the shit out of an "antifa" kid, and he wanted them to kill him.

Then somewhere deep in my brain, an alarm went off: this isn’t good for me. I’m becoming something I don’t want to be.

Just then he was becoming that.

The Antifa creep is a human being. Much as I despise what he says and does, much as I’m sure I’d hate him personally if I knew him, I shouldn’t gloat over his suffering. I should be bothered by it. I should remember that somewhere somebody probably loves this kid, and would be crushed if he was killed. If I don’t care about those things, if I reduce people to their politics, how am I better than he is?

Awww, Tucker wrote down a text message that would later serve as evidence he had a conscience. Perhaps he was hoping to show it to God at some point.

Of course he also wrote all that really disturbing white supremacist shit first.

(By the way, white right-wingers are actually using this text as evidence that Tucker has a soul, and is not just a white supremacist. It is revelatory.)

So there it is.

Your smoking gun evidence Tucker is a white supremacist.

This is what apparently freaked out the Fox News board. They were worried what people might think if this one became public! (If Fox News is freaked out about this one, boy oh boy, don't show them Tucker's show for the last seven years or so!)

The board grew concerned that the message could become public at trial when Mr. Carlson was on the stand, creating a sensational and damaging moment that would raise broader questions about the company.

Hahahahaha you bet.

Unless we're totally reading this wrong and the part that freaked out Fox was the part where Tucker was openly grappling with the idea that an "antifa" was a human being.

Anyway, a grief counselor will be available to help us all talk through the shock and disappointment of all this very brand new information.

Assuming, of course, that they are done consoling the Fox News board.

[ New York Times ]

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