Turn, Turn, Turn. Tabs, Mon., July 13, 2026
To everything, there is a season.
Well, good morning, and now we shall look at some of the news.
But first, if you haven’t stopped by The Moral High Ground in the past couple days, you should come by and subscribe, as we are grappling with an accusation from a weirdo Christian pastor that WE created the “gay Jesus.” Did we, sir? Did we do that? Because from where we are sitting, that guy is the one talking about Jesus’s perfect abs. [The Moral High Ground]
Amy Klobuchar is one of several Democratic senators who could read the room and understand that nobody cares about their Senate “collegiality,” and could have simply chosen to say less after the death of Lindsey Graham, rather than telling us about all the good times they’ve had with the fascists who are trying to destroy this country and maim and kill as many people as they can during the process.
Cory Booker is another:
Guys, this is one of the things we’re talking about when we say some of you are clearly on Team Fight and others are not.
What in Christ’s name is Ka$h Patel talking about, saying the FBI is doing all it can to assist in the aftermath of Graham’s death? Is there an investigation? Did something nefarious happen? Or is this just Ka$h being fucking pathetic again, trying to performatively show Daddy that he’s busy working and not currently drunk on the taxpayer dime? [Daily Beast]
Especially since Ka$h reportedly got hauled in to the White House for an ass chewing at the beginning of the weekend, after yet another serious of embarrassing moves and headlines by Ka$h. [M$NOW]
Curious about the process for what happens now to Graham’s Senate seat? Would you like a long block quote from Punchbowl? OK well it’s like this, per Punchbowl:
SC Republican Gov. Henry McMaster appoints ass to sit in seat for rest of year. Might be Graham’s sister Darline Graham Nordone.
There will be a special election to get a new nominee, and the new nominee will compete on election day with the Democrat Annie Andrews.
But who will it be? Punchbowl:
Three Republicans who ran for governor are openly eyeing a Senate bid: Reps. Ralph Norman (R-S.C.), Nancy Mace (R-S.C.) and Lt. Gov. Pamela Evette.
Another name to watch: Rep. Russell Fry (R-S.C.). Trump hand-picked Fry to oust Rep. Tom Rice (R-S.C.) in 2022. Fry has the benefit of having avoided a brutal governor primary.
Rep. William Timmons (R-S.C.) is also very interested in the seat. The four-term member has lots of personal money and could spend it on this race. He also has had backing from crypto super PACs, such as Fairshake.
Hahahahahahahahaha Nancy Mace hahahahahahahahahaha may she compete and get just enough votes from absolute crazies to win hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Andrews, who again was Graham’s Democratic opponent in the South Carolina Senate race before he withdrew from consideration, had just come out with some internal polling that showed her essentially tied with Graham in South Carolina. Now God knows what’s going to happen on the Republican side, but could this be a pickup opportunity for Dems? Oh wouldn’t that be some karma! [Jim Acosta]
Senate’s Dumbest Republican Ron Johnson will get Graham’s gavel as chair of the Senate Budget Committee. [Twitter]
Donald Trump is so broken up, y’all. [NBC News]
So broken up:
Is dead! So sad!
Meanwhile’s who’s not a dead guy? Mitch McConnell is not a dead guy, says Mitch McConnell, ALLEGEDLY. [AP]
Did the US/Israel war against Iran essentially save the Iranian regime? Sad but yes, probably. And who’s too stupid to understand that? Donald Trump and Pete Hegseth. [Christian Science Monitor]
What are the 10 worst states to live in quality-of-life-wise, according to CNBC’s big new study? You will be shocked by this list:
Tennessee
Texas
Indiana
Louisiana
Georgia
Utah
Missouri
Alabama
Oklahoma
Arkansas
When there’s so many shitty states on your list there’s not even room for Mississippi!
What is this list all about? CNBC explains:
To score the states for quality of life, we use hard data on factors like crime rates, air quality and healthcare. We also consider the cost and availability of childcare, inclusiveness of state laws, and reproductive rights.
In other words, all the things that makes places livable, and hellholes as far as Christian fascist perverts and scumbags are concerned. They probably could just rank states by how accommodating they are to Christian fascist perverts and scumbags are and they’d get the same list. [CNBC]
OK, that’s enough stories, we’ll have more if you’re good.
Want to read more Evan than just what’s at Wonkette? Visit The Moral High Ground and subscribe to it!
Follow me on Instagram!
Subscribe to me on YouTube!
And on BlueSky!
And on Facebook!
Hello friends. Here is your hed gif info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/platypus-barrel-rolls
And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/8165758a-5f79-494c-9186-8a00bcd193a8
hahaha i was making a joke with $ signs in Kash Patel's name in tabs and somehow Substack thought I was trying to open a wormhole and rendered it as if i was having a stroke. fixed!