13 Comments
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AngryBlakGuy's avatar

...not mentioned the USMS embroidered 12 inch studded dildo

Painter of Goats's avatar

“flashing superballs”

So truck nutz come attired in tiny mechanical trench coats now?

Painter of Goats's avatar

Well, they were fine until one of their third basemen botched a witness protection detail...

Vienna Woods's avatar

And no doubt most of the shit was made in China.

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

Military peeps are seriously into those coins. I've worked enough military events (mainly USO) that I've gotten quite a few of them. They're actually pretty cool

Good_Gawd_Yall - Unperson's avatar

All I know is, when the US Marshalls come kicking down my doors to arrest me, I want at least one of them out on the curb handing out flashing squishy things to my curious neighbors. And not just ANY flashing squishy things - US Marshall(TM) logo'd flashing squishy things!

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

I will always cherish my official White House shot glass that I got from Slick Willie. Now THAT is some serious swag...

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

you're thinking of the Secret Service

bobbert's avatar

Embroidered for her pleasure?

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

compared to the Houston Texans, they're doing great...

schmannity's avatar

Why does the U.S. Marshal need publicity? I think Staff Sargent Dignam in The Departed had a better idea:

" Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's say you have no idea and leave it at that, okay? No idea. Zip. None. If you had an idea of what we do, we would not be good at what we do, now would we? We would be cunts. Are you calling us cunts? "