UH OH, FOUND A NAUGHTY BAD BUNNY SONG. Tabs, Tues., Feb. 10, 2026
OR DID WE?
Morning!
OUR BAD. Turns out Bad Bunny does have a naughty gross song lyric we should all acknowledge. It goes:
Jovencitas, jovencitas, me gustan menores de edad, ¿ves?
Algunos dicen que es obligatorio (pero yo digo que es obligatorio).
And in English that is:
“Young ladies, young ladies, I like ‘em underage, see
Some say that’s statutory (But I say it’s mandatory)”
OH DARNIT FUCK SHIT CHRIST, we screwed up, that is not Bad Bunny!
You see, we put the Kid Rock lyric about touching little girls from his song “Cool, Daddy Cool,” into the Google Translate machine to see what it would sound like in Spanish! Why? Because we thought it would be funny. So those lyrics are gross disgusting Kid Rock pedo lyrics, in Spanish. Use it in comments sections as you will. Ask MAGA losers if they have heard the Bad Bunny song “Jovencitas,” and then smack the shit out of them with the truth when they least expect it.
Ha ha!
And that’s tabs! The end!
Just kidding, here are some stories, we guess:
Kid Toucher Ghislaine Maxwell spent time with the House Oversight Committee yesterday, pleading the Fifth, but saying if Trump springs her from jail, she’ll say he and Bill Clinton did nothing wrong. [AP]
Meanwhile, lots of MAGA reps looking at unredacted Epstein Files and coming out and saying Ghislaine is a monster and a child rapist who needs to be buried under the prison.
And oh boy, Thomas Massie and Ro Khanna, they are saying A LOT about all the powerful men whose names they are now starting to learn, who the Trump regime is covering up for. [CNN]
Oh no, does MAGA hate Jeffrey Epstein’s greasy sicko buddy Steve Bannon now? [Mediaite]
Meanwhile, Donald Trump’s pedo-protecting DOJ, is demanding a judge erase Bannon’s felony conviction. Only US Attorney Judge Boxwine signed the motion, because no real legal professional with integrity would do such a thing.
Megyn Kelly is having a SANTA IS WHITE, KIDS, HE JUST IS moment about football, holy fucking Nazi meltdown. Really safe to say at this point Megyn Kelly is the least valuable player on this entire planet earth. The quicker her kids get old enough to never call her again, the better off they will be. [JoeMyGod]
It’s NOT getting better in Minneapolis, and don’t let anybody tell you it is. Tom Homan wasn’t sent there to make it better, it was a reshuffling of the deck chairs. If anything, it’s worse, and the ICE terrorists are escalating. For one thing, they’re kidnapping legal observers a whole lot more. [Intercept]
Wanna help? Here’s Wonk pal and our pal Lizz Winstead, a Minneapolitan, affirming that it is not getting better, and with a link for ways to help Minneapolis right now:
Bear witness to the stories of the children being kidnapped by ICE and sent to the camp in Dilley, Texas. [ProPublica]
Love to go to the anti-abortion rally and get measles from everybody. [New Republic]
Your mentally ill president is trying to scare/threaten Canada by telling them that China is going to … steal their ice hockey? And ban the Stanley Cup? Uh, durrrr, OK.
Hey, you know Katie Britt, that horrible two-faced Republican senator with the Fundie Baby Voice? Did you see the fawning fluff piece the New York Times did on how she is a different kind of kinder, gentler Republican who just cannot stop thinking about that poor sweet boy Liam, who ICE kidnapped and trafficked and used as bait and sent to a concentration camp? The punchline is that Katie Britt just cares so much, and the second she had an opportunity to do something about it, she fucking didn’t. Fuck Katie Britt and fuck the New York Times. That’s what I was mad about at the Moral High Ground this week, and you should come be mad with me. [The Moral High Ground]
Portugal has elected a leftist, instead of a far-right creep, in its presidential runoff. So whew for them. It was a landslide too. [New York Times]
Hey remember that amazing guy TJ Sabula who yelled “pedophile protector!” at the auto plant in Michigan? Yeah nothing happened to him, he kept his job, didn’t get disciplined. Calling Donald Trump names to his face is fun and easy and costs no dollars! [The Detroit News]
Here is Jimmy Kimmel just brutalizing Donald Trump for, you know, everything, the day after the Benito Bowl.
How about Bad Bunny and super badass Spanish star Rosalía from five years ago? “La Noche de Anoche.” It’s sexy, but not disgusting like a Kid Rock Song.
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Did you see the fawning fluff piece the New York Times did on how she is a different kind of kinder, gentler Republican who just cannot stop thinking about that poor sweet boy Liam, who ICE kidnapped and trafficked and used as bait and sent to a concentration camp?
Anyone remember the puff piece they did on Nancy Mace about two months before she went full thermal nuclear? About how moderate she was, and how she was the face of the moderate sensible republican and how moderates loved her for being so moderate?
Let's see if it happens again. Might have a kiss of death here