Good morning! We have officially reached the part of the midterms season where ballots have started to go out.
Let’s look at some stories!
Ready for Pete Hegseth to check your morning wood? Be sure to be asleep when he comes in!
Meanwhile, has Secretary Shitfaced been lying about how many troops have been killed in his lost war in Iran? [Times of Israel]
Meanwhile, this weekend Secretary Shitfaced has been in Texas, doing Nazi Christian nationalism dork stuff and shitting on the Bible in front of the troops, trying to get them excited about maybe going off to die in the stupid war he started and lost on the first day, the one his whiskey dick thinks is a holy war against Islam. “Lord, I am here, send me!” Wank wank wank. [JoeMyGod]
Meanwhile, y’all hear that part of the reason he blew a bunch of little girls’ heads off at school in Iran on the first day of that war was because of AI? [Bloomberg]
Meanwhile, did y’all hear Shitfaced’s Pentagon almost started World War III with China accidentally, based on, again, bad AI? [CNN]
Meanwhile, the make-believe “Department of War” is very proud that it invited loser assholes Jake and Logan Paul to the Pentagon to do … ??? [Twitter]
There was some drama this weekend, Trump came home early from Camp David with Natalie, like Trump and Hegseth were about to escalate their lost war. But Trump got spooked at the last minute, we guess, and did not join the Saudis in bombing the Houthis. [Daily Beast / Daily Beast]
Did Trump ban all those news outlets from the White House because he didn’t have a babysitter? Sounds like it. Never, ever leave him without a babysitter. [Politico]
ICE Nazis in Texas are shooting people in cars now. [JoeMyGod]
The US and Denmark have a new “deal” on Greenland that they literally obviously told Trump was a new “deal” so that the senile shitting baby would clap his hands and think he did a new “deal,” and Eric Trump is so stupid he thinks we now have Canada “surrounded.” [Independent / Benzinga]
Meanwhile, the dumbfuck is reposting imbecilic dictator slop Natalie found for him that depicts him looking over the earth at “his hemisphere.” [HuffPost]
Hey you guys, should we renamed AI a “Supreme Intelligence”? Donald Trump thought that might be a good idea, until some of his Christian nationalist followers got pissed. [RawStory]
How Trump Broke The Kennedy Center. Deep dive from NYT. [New York Times]
Uh yes, your honor, Dear Leader absolutely needs his beloved arch in DC, because on top of being ugly, it is going to be a much-needed PODS container for old drones! Yeah you betcha! [Washington Post]
Lauren Boebert: She fuck everybody? Like for real, everybody? [RawStory]
One Million Moms got a boner from socks. [JoeMyGod]
Christ, that is enough stories for now. More when we write some.
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Let me get this straight:
The same people who claim mandatory vaccines are Too Invasive Of Our Privacy are A-ok with the powers that be checking on a dude's personal penis?