Did any good political news appear in your editor's inbox this afternoon? Oh here's something that looks very relevant: The manufacturer of a brand of hard corn-syrup candies has arranged for samples of this item to be glued to an underwear model, for display on a television network tonight. We know for sure this famous New York publicity firm meant for us to have this information, because the email was sent specifically to your editor's work email, at Wonkette. Old candy stuck on some sweaty model's butt, this sounds very compelling!
Let's see the whole picture, of the lady with the empty expression and the nice body with the gross corn-syrup candies stuck to her privates:
Wonderful. The Christmas Season is truly here.
Everybody remember to eat lots of this brand of candy! It's the only way to "become a lingerie model."
Careful there sport, or you might wind up with a Baby Ruth.
She's a lesbian?