62 Comments

Have you tried living without teeth? I have.

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Have you tried living without the use of your penis?

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I don't have one. But I've lived without sex for lengthy periods, years even, and I would still rather have teeth, if I had to choose between those two things. Sex is not essential to maintain life, but food is, and without teeth one cannot enjoy food. But my point, which possibly I did not make clearly enough, is that we shouldn't have to make this choice. Medicare should pay for both. Also glasses.

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Wrist fracture, same thing.

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"If I had to choose between teeth and a good sex life, I'd choose teeth every time."

I dunno. I think losing one might actually improve the other, if ya know what I mean...heh, heh, heh (By which I mean abstinence improves your dental records.)

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Heh heh. I will share that with my dentist, who has funded his children's college education with my dental work. If my 3 bridges break, which they could do any day as they are 25 years old, Medicare would not pay to replace them and this would require me to have all my remaining teeth pulled and get dentures, which Medicare would not pay for, and to my way of thinking, there is nothing less sexy than dentures. My apologies to any reader who has dentures, it's just my personal opinion.

But Bernie's health plan would cover the cost of replacing my dental bridges. :-) If I didn't have 100 other reasons to vote for him, that one alone would have great influence with me. I don't understand why in America teeth are not considered 1) a part of the human body and 2) necessary for good health. I use my teeth every day, which is more than I can say for some other parts of my body.

For some strange reason the medical powers-that-be seem to be clinging to an ancient medical tradition that says the body stops at the neck, and nothing above the neck is part of the body, but is some strange, unnecessary appendage requiring extra insurance coverage. This is medieval.

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How do these things work? Do you stick your dick in a vacuum hose?

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Does this mean I can put my Shop-Vac back in the garage?

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Jeb Bush's penis pump was on twitter the other day with a cryptic caption.

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Directions unclear...got penis stuck in ceiling fan.

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This pump sucks.

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Are dick jokes too lame to be made now that republicans are making them? Asking for a friend.

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When I was in massage school my instructor asked me to go over to the bookstore to collect the cupping equipment* she ordered. Now remember the only difference between cupping equipment and erotic pumping equipment is the shape of the attachments. Imagine my surprise when they brought out a large box from the "Dong Bang" company. I almost peed myself as I carried the clearly labeled box across campus.

*We were doing vacuum cupping because the college wet them selves at the thought of fire cupping in one of their class rooms.

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Nearly no comments. It seems the dick pump is taking second place to the republican cock suckers.

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Why no penis jokes?

Too engorged in much debating?

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Penis jokes are hard.

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