As Wonkbot (the dean of the military masturbation-joke press corps) first reported, the Navy has opened an investigation into a series of instructional videos made by the former Executive Officer of the USS Enterprise, Captain Owen Honors, after The Virginian-Pilot got its hands on this guy's clip show of favorite moments. And wow, this guy really is the world's greatest sketch comedian! Why did he ever decide to be in the military? He could have created the world's best selling line of "these two Navy ladies are pretending to take a shower together but aren't really!" DVDs. Sailors on this important Iraq-shooting boat were audience to the best in comedy, from mock masturbation to mock sodomy to mock dick shots to mock donkey sex to mock semen (seamen semen!). Comedy gold after the jump!
What's the Diva Of Faux Outrage got to say about this? Probably not much; I mean, it's not like they used the word 'retard' in their video of non-stop lulz.
Winston Churchill observed the foundations of the Royal Navy were rum, sodomy and the lash.
These vidoes need more rum. And the lash.
["The Lash" would make a great Wonkette handle - up there (or, if you prefer, down there) - with "Pacific Rimmer" and "Luggage Lifter."]
To all you uber-macho straight men out there. When you guys try to mix jokes with sodomy, just, don't. You're doin' BOTH RONG.
They were going for anal, and wound up with banal.
What's the Diva Of Faux Outrage got to say about this? Probably not much; I mean, it's not like they used the word 'retard' in their video of non-stop lulz.
Ironic that the diva wanna be's who need us the most, are the least likely to realize it. Happy New Year, Elvis.
Winston Churchill observed the foundations of the Royal Navy were rum, sodomy and the lash.
These vidoes need more rum. And the lash.
["The Lash" would make a great Wonkette handle - up there (or, if you prefer, down there) - with "Pacific Rimmer" and "Luggage Lifter."]
Giving new meaning to "cabinboy" - as in "Come into my cabin, boy!"
Meanwhile, there is something slightly fay about "The Virginian-Pilot." You betcha!
These guys are so busy making movies where do they find the time to do the killing?
Nrrrrrrd!
Lemme understand -- these are the STRAIGHT officers doing teh gai-sex videos, right? What does this leave for the GAY officers to do?
Wow, first we gotta relive the Clarence Thomas hearings, now the Tailhook scandal.
Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it (in summer school), indeed!
To all you uber-macho straight men out there. When you guys try to mix jokes with sodomy, just, don't. You're doin' BOTH RONG.
They were going for anal, and wound up with banal.