401 Comments

I know...they keep putting that extra 'm' in the word 'moron' for some reason...

Expand full comment

The difference being having a wand shoved up the vagina.

Expand full comment

I'm guessing it's a holdover from way back when there was nothing to do except be afraid of the sun and people were ten hairs off from being baboons. Like, they didn't have handy PSAs to remind people that reckless sex = baby, so they needed some way to hammer that into people's thick skulls. And what bigger hammer is there than the divine mandate of a petty, wrathful god?

Expand full comment

Funny, Mrs. Ideal and I were talking about hormones the other day, specifically about how much they suck. And the male libido really is a madman:

"Hey boss, isn't she hot? What about her? Wow dude, her dress is real tight! Hell, even he's kinda hot.""...would you shut up for a few milliseconds? We're at my brother's Christmas show!"

Expand full comment

Christ alive... I spend the weekend preventing Hardly Jr. from eating the radio and this is what I come back to. Can't even turn my back without some new fractal of stupid blooming.

Expand full comment

And people wonder why we have a mental health crisis.

Expand full comment

You must be watching the high class stuff. Is the Spice Network still a thing? If so. A few hours of butt zit constellations and road atlas stretchmarks clumsily looped and edited, is enough to deter even the most lascivious if memory serv-----.........umm, so I've been told.

Expand full comment

Pure electricity, in my pants.

Expand full comment

Sadly, no. Very sadly

Expand full comment

Why do these homosexuals keep sucking my penis?

Expand full comment

Watching lesbian bukkake fisting donkey shows is a legitimate business expense in his line of work.

Expand full comment

Looked him up on Google. He graduated from BYU with a law degree and a business degree, four children and he's been married since '91. Dude gradated from high school, went to college and got married. He's never had a life. He also has a Twitter account and an insincere face.. With all that existential midlife crisis going on, this porn bill of his is a warming shot cry/ for help His inevitable sex scandal is going to be EPIC!

Expand full comment

"Yvonne," go blow a dead gorilla. You've been reported to Disqus.

If anyone else wants to report the bot, here's how:https://help.disqus.com/cus...

Expand full comment

Why do these homosexuals keep getting picked up by me, coming back to my place, tying themselves to my bed, and making me suck them.

Expand full comment

I'm pretty sure no judge would back the idea of public showings of porn.

Expand full comment