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Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥, “𝘞𝘩𝘺, 𝘎𝘰𝘥? 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘤 𝘙𝘦𝘱𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘺?”

This is not my nicely appointed home.

This is not my nicely appointed wife.

Where is that large automobile?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IsSpAOD6K8

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peregrin's avatar

"Ginning up a statement so strong it brought Peggy Noonan running"

Bra-fucking-vo! That was brilliant and I also did a spit take.

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RogationDays's avatar

This was marvelous, Crip Dyke!!! Thank you, you totally made my day!!!!

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Crip Dyke. I hope you're feeling better. Fortunately for us, whatever bug is bugging you hasn't hurt your writing. This is hilarious.

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dave's avatar

Transphobic republicans are a joke, since Internet searches for transgender porn is highest in the deepest red areas of the country.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

True. I don't have it handy now, but I've posted the link to that data countless times. Always a Nice Times story.

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dave's avatar

Cool, thx, I saw this on Lawsuit.org

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Craig Nixon's avatar

Yeah, that was the link I always use too. Shuts them up fairly quickly on the old Xitter, too.

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dave's avatar

I will never fully understand why these skells think it's a crime to be human.

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zb23's avatar

seems like such a waste of time and money and space to install gender-specific bathrooms in all their homes. they DO have gender-specific bathrooms in their homes right?

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Hello Marion's avatar

Wish I had some high-quality snark to spew about this, but I am only a few days removed from a cross-country trip that (1) connected in Dallas and (2) for the first time in my life had me paralyzed for close to a minute between the boy and girl facilities. I mean, just go in and do my business and get on with my life, right? But Texas. But airport past security, so probably (?) no guns! But still self-appointed Protectors of Womanhood with fists and carryon bags and one personal items. Never been so unsure of what to do in my life. Finally said fuckit and chose one and marched in with a scowl and I am still alive to type this unamusing recap and still a tad rattled also too and hating this dumb timeline.

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Uncle Milburn's avatar

I'm now going to be upset when I have to use a non-gendered bathroom since I definitely have a gender!

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Uncle Milburn's avatar

🤣 wheeze 🤣

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Khavrinen's avatar

"The crazy thing about being a crazy Republican is that you really don’t trust other Republicans to be anti-trans enough."

They don't really believe it is *possible* to be anti-trans *enough*.

( when you ask 'em, "How much [ anti-trans ] should we give?"

Hoo, they only answer, "More, more, more, more" )

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Doug Langley's avatar

When I went to school, there was no such thing as "Bathroom Monitor", unless you meant someone making sure no one was smoking or flushing cherry bombs.

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The_Shadout_Mapes's avatar

This may shock some of you, but people with penises can pee sitting down. It’s true! They really can.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

I don't have a choice...

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The_Shadout_Mapes's avatar

You aren’t alone. It’s much safer for those with balance issues or other disabilities.

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Michael Bowen's avatar

I've done it ever since I've been married. It's better than spray-and-pray and having to clean up afterwards.

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Dudley Didwrong's avatar

If you sprinkle

When you tinkle,

Please be sweet

And wipe the seat.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

Plus, if you bring your phone? It's that much more quality time to have with yr Wonkette.

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OrdinaryJoe's avatar

The MAGApublicans don't want a government that governs. They want 24-7, 365 performance politics.

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Amanda Mitchell's avatar

Auditor Dougall is a slimy weasel just like almost everyone involved in politics in Utah. Funny, yes, but still a two faced weasel.

Not to worry that the state is now going to be kind to those who identify as transgender; AG Reyes has now jumped on some frivolous, cruel lawsuit about Biden being kind to those "people". Cruelty is a Utah brand.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/utah-joins-lawsuit-against-biden-182957581.html

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UncleTravelingMatt's avatar

Yup. He would have been fine with the bill if it hadn't meant more work for him.

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Emil Muz's avatar

If you unironically call yourself "Frugal Dougall" (which is Father Dougal libelz) you probably aren't the stuff heroes are made of, but I'll give him an extra cup of dipping sauce for his chicken tenders.

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

"then poor Auditor Dougall got all mad and took to Twitter."

genius. always a winning stategery.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

Funny, I got mad and abandoned Xitter. I'm gonna have another half-hearted go at it if/when I ever get moved back in at home. I've been down-ranked (or whatever the fuck it's called) so hard I didn't think anyone noticed I was gone. Turns out, some folks have.

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

I left twitter in 2016 and wound up here. this place is a lot better for my mental health, as it turned out.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

Okay, fine, I'm installing a urinal in the guest bathroom and putting up a "No Girls Allowed" sign on the door, to make my home conform to the bisexual ideals of the GQP. Given that the shower and tub are in the main bathroom, and that's being labeled as "Cootie-Boys Not Allowed," I'm going to have to bathe in the dog tub on the back porch. Or abandon bathing altogether.

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