24 Comments
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diogenez's avatar

This situation could get very sticky with little warning.

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Lefty Mark's avatar

He manufactured child porn by shooting a short video of himself, because legally he's still a child. QED.

What does the city plan to do on behalf of the child who was the subject of that video? Don't they have an obligation to provide assistance to that poor victim?

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Lefty Mark's avatar

I think the current term for it is "enhanced interrogation." But I doubt that they are actually planning to do this. They are trying to coerce a guilty plea out of the kid by threatening him in the most personal and (especially for an adolescent boy) frightening way possible.

How this doesn't scream "police brutality" is simply beyond me. By any measure what they have even just done so far will psychologically screw this kid up for the rest of his life. One can argue that this is brutalization of a minor by persons acting under the color of authority.

Holy Abner Louima, Manassas!

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SheriffRoscoe's avatar

They put a syringe needle in your dick to make it hard? It would have the EXACT OPPOSITE effect if they tried that on me.

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Fitzgerald Chesterfield's avatar

They've got boner pills for intravenous injection?

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Fitzgerald Chesterfield's avatar

I imagine they're going to need a line-up/photo array.

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Rarian Rakista's avatar

This is really just a way of criminalizing sex before marriage.

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Pardon for the hardon

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Detective P. Dobere has offered to lend them his own "mugshot collection."

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

"Ok, you've been accused of attempted murder. Now, we're going to have you fire this gun at the victim so they can identify if it was you!"

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Your honor, speaking as head juror, we declare that the angle of the dangle was not in fact equal to the heat of the meat.

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Detectives will “use special software to compare pictures of this penis to this penis."

<a href="http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/WiiWare" target="_blank">Nintendo makes it.</a>

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The Quirk's avatar

The PlasterCaster is a bastard.

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Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

So is this a Catch-69 or a very weird version of "Pics or GTFO"?

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Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

if the dick don't fit, you must acquit

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

What the fucking fuck? This cannot actually be real. Tell me I hit my head, I'm asleep at my desk, or someone put drugs in my coffee, or something, because in dreams, shit doesn't ever make any sense and this MAKES NO SENSE.

Did some NAMBLA slashfic get crossposted to WaPo?

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