43 Comments
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nodak satanic portalG90G0Z-666's avatar

The Revelation of John is one bad mushroom trip.

There are some other non cannon writings that are even more out there.

Pm Deering's avatar

Why would anybody want to be god-fearing, anyway? What kind of damage makes you want a god you have to be afraid of?

11Charlie's avatar

Time for some good old fashion 80s era satanic panic:

https://youtu.be/sYXz3vZvtL8

Truxpin49's avatar

How am I supposed to order through Amazon without using a number? Hengghhhh?

Sativa Gummi's avatar

It's the MAGA hat that's "the Mark of the Beast" . . . and they've already "taken" it.

Ill-Advised's avatar

Cf. Lindsay Graham giggling that he grovels to Trump because he's afraid of him, and doesn't find this at all bothersome. I guess his god wasn't scary enough?

mailman27's avatar

Ah yes, the BDT, perfected by... that dude?

mailman27's avatar

Don't remember that one, but Mark Twain's takes on religion were always pretty bleak.

Manny Bothans's avatar

These “Mark of the Beast” fucksticks are beyond insufferable because they think they possess such amazing foresight and deductive abilities with the way they’re able to link things to other things to show some vast conspiracy. When what they fail to realize is that, with a minimum of effort, you can find enough coincidences and other random things to link almost anything.

Case in point: in the 1983 movie “Blue Thunder”, a film about a super sophisticated attack helicopter, one of the crew members in the closing credits is named “Larry C. Bird” who obviously used his middle initial so as not to be confused with Larry Bird the Hall of Fame basketball player. A buddy and I did a “what if it was actually the Larry Bird” and we found a several things in the film that could be used as “proof” to show it was really him. It was actually a little eerie some of the things we found, but we know it’s all just coincidence and we didn’t build our fucking existence off it.

Thud's avatar

What's the point in letting us scurry around here in sin for a few dozen years, and then throwing us into hell for all eternity? Seems like that game would get pretty boring after a few centuries.

georgiaburning's avatar

Moses David Berg and the Children of God warned us back in the 1970’s!

Mr. Malarkey's avatar

Unfortunately, if we convince them voting is the mark of the beast, they won't just stop voting themselves. They want to make everyone follow their stupid beliefs, so they'd just cancel voting altogether.

tiredsucker's avatar

Religion is the refuge of the moron.

pstokk's avatar

Wouldn't a telephone number be a "number of a man" too?

Napoleanofthetrump's avatar

The covid vaccine makes your dick bigger.