Wall Street Journal Very Mad That Hunter Biden Sleazily Peddled Influence, Unlike Paragon Of Ethics Jared Kushner
Really, they couldn't find a less insulting example?
The editorial board of the Wall Street Journal is shocked, SHOCKED WE SAY, that presidential spawn Hunter Biden may have been a sleazy influence peddler while his father Joe was vice president. It’s such a comedown from the rigidly upstanding, ethically pure Trump administration, with its hardened and secure borders between personal and government business:
It’s one thing to develop relationships in office that turn into business opportunities later, the way Jared Kushner, Donald Trump’s son-in-law, did in the Middle East. It’s another to leverage the office while in office to promote the family business.
You may never read two funnier sentences anywhere, ever. This Jared Kushner? The guy who, along with his wife, somehow managed to make possibly more than half a billion dollars while on the government payroll? The guy who may have gotten a $2 billion investment from Saudi Arabia as partial payback for defending the nation’s murder of a dissident journalist while he was working in the goddamn White House? That guy?
This distinction about developing relationships while in office as opposed to developing them to “turn into business opportunities later” is a cheap one to begin with, and that’s before you get to the part where that development meant turning a blind eye to state-sanctioned murder. Hey Journal editors, when you have reason to think Joe Biden winked at a dictatorship’s plan to take a bone saw to one of our residents — in the middle of applying to be a citizen of our nation — in exchange for a giant investment in his son’s lobbying firm, please do share it with the rest of us.
It is no secret that the Journal’s opinion page is a miasma of horseshit, and that prolonged exposure will cause severe brain damage in adults, children, dogs, cockroaches, and really all living creatures up to and including shrubbery. Hell, yr Wonkette has read a lot of Peggy Noonan columns over the years, and now we can no longer tie our own shoes.
But even for them, Friday’s editorial about the congressional testimony of Hunter Biden’s former business partner Devon Archer is a remarkable document. Archer testified this week to the House Oversight Committee, which is desperately trying to pin any hint of corruption it can on the Bidens. By most accounts, the testimony was a bust for Republicans. (One clue that it was a bust was that Andy Biggs, as rabid a GOP partisan weasel as exists, admitted to reporters on his way out of the hearing that it was a bust.)
This lack of a smoking gun is a problem for the Journal’s editorial board. The solution? Just make shit up, it’s not as if their audience of retired financial consultants can understand anything their day nurses read to them anyway:
As soon as Devon Archer’s closed-door sitdown with the House Oversight Committee ended Monday, New York’s Daniel Goldman emerged to give the Democratic spin: President Biden’s conversations with his son’s business partners were innocent discussions about the weather or other niceties. That was exposed as false on Thursday when the committee made the complete transcript public.
We happen to have the transcript right here — the online version of the editorial does not link to it for some strange reason wink wink nudge nudge — and that bit about niceties and the weather is pretty much what Archer told the committee Joe Biden discussed with his son’s business partners:
Q The conversation was about the weather --
A The weather and niceties, all of it -- any -- as it goes for any of the -- there was never a discussion of cap tables, and that wasn't -- you know, that was not the purpose of the calls.
Q But beyond cap tables, there wasn't any conversation of "you need to help me with this business I have with these people," or, "you need to take this action or that action to help these business partners of mine."
A Correct.
Q That never happened.
A That did not happen.
We understand the Journal’s confusion, though, what with the use of such obscure and little-understood words in the English language as “not” and “never.” And sure, it’s tough to CTRL-F and search the transcript for the word “weather” and see how many times Archer explained to the committee that Joe Biden talked with Hunter’s business partners about the weather and not business (multiple, there are multiple times), but somehow we managed to perform this task, and we mostly write creative insults for a living.
He further clarified that it was Joe Biden “that brought the most value to the brand.” In other words, Hunter was selling his father’s power in Washington.
They left out the part where Archer testified that Hunter knew that he was only selling an illusion of influence, not actual influence, as part of a general effort to bring in business. You can’t even really argue this is sleazy, since selling your unique ability to provide a service is a basic function of any business. For example, does any other political blog on Earth bring you both sharp analysis and profane insults and cocktail recipes all in one place? No, only Wonkette does that. (So please help keep us funded!)
The Journal continued with this flat-out lie:
Mr. Archer says Mr. Shokin, who was investigating Burisma, was not “specifically on my radar,” and that he was spun a tale how of Mr. Shokin was actually “good for Burisma.”
If you have paid attention to this story going back at least to Donald Trump’s first impeachment, you are aware that during the Obama administration, Ukraine’s then-Prosecutor General Viktor Shokin was not investigating Burisma, the energy company that had put Hunter Biden on its board, for corruption. You also know that this lack of investigation is why the United States and its European allies were making an all-out effort to convince Ukraine to fire Shokin, an effort that was spearheaded by Joe Biden.
In other words, yes, Shokin was “good for Burisma,” because he was leaving it alone to engage in corruption. His firing, which Joe Biden crowed about, was bad for the company.
The Journal does not need to edit this opinion piece. It needs to retract it, and everyone involved with its writing, editing and publication should be marched naked through the streets of New York while actual journalists line the sidewalks and pelt them with garbage.
First off, let me say that I am deeply horrified that you're not pointing out that the murder victim whose death was laughed off by Kushner was a US-based journalist working full time for the Washington Post who, occasionally, gave interviews and wrote side pieces for, of all publications, the Wall Street Journal.
It's not insignificant here that he was murdered FOR WHAT HE WROTE IN THE US PRESS, including, though not primarily, the WSFuckingJ.
Great Godz of Gall, these fucking people.
But more importantly, there's this:
>> For example, does any other political blog on Earth
>> bring you both sharp analysis and profane insults
>> and cocktail recipes all in one place?
>> No, only Wonkette does that.
I say again: Wonkette is the world's last honest internet floozerium and pantsless makeout bar. And I love you for it.
I honestly could not give less of a fuck about Hunter Biden. He's kind of a screw up. He should be in therapy or prison if found guilty.
For me It doesn't reflect on Joe at all. That family has gone through so much. It was almost inevitable that one of them was going to go off the rails. That's what happens with trauma.