240 Comments

For the last ten years the GOP has had more loose screws than Hugh Hefner.

Expand full comment

When nothing happens, they'll congratulate themselves that the State Guard (probably untrained gun nut militiamen) saved them. And mass gun ownership!

Expand full comment

Neverthess Independent Texas would be every bit as prosperous as Bourkina Faso.

Expand full comment

I bet the state guard is praying VERY hard that this is just a routine thing. Because think about it: One state guard versus the combined forces of the US military.sorta like like Bambi meets Godzilla

Expand full comment

Start their own stores? Capitalistically?

Expand full comment

... I saw how this turns out in The Simpsons Season 6 Episode 25 – Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)...

Expand full comment

Walmart is just covering. I knew them carrying all that Duck Dynasty stuff was just for distracting good 'Muricans from the Kenyan Usurper's plot of World Homosexualization. He's just sneaky like that.

Expand full comment

If you think the president can just wave his big Magic Negro Ray of Chocolate Mojo and declare martial law, you really don't understand how your government works - but then again that's not even a little bit surprising given a sitting US senator such as Ted Cruz apparently doesn't understand how the very government he is part of works either.

http://www.stonekettle.com/...

Expand full comment

They will be taking the boat from Miami to Cuba, our new 51st state. Thanks, Obummer!!!11!!

Expand full comment

malfunctioning

FTFY

Expand full comment

I hear they work for scale there.

Expand full comment

That may have been the finest commentary on this whole ridiculous situation .

Expand full comment

I see what you did there. Nice!

Expand full comment

That's kind of adorable. http://theconversation.com/...

Expand full comment

Sarah Palin turkey libel.

Expand full comment

... and when people start a-thinkin', that's when fevered imaginations run wild. Rational people hear this story and realize that a global corporation with multi-billion dollar resources doesn't shutter (presumed) profitable stores for 6 months due to "plumbing problems". It is much more reasonable to believe that would be the time frame required to replace all the staff let go, and who just happened to coincidentally be asking for a raise and/or the right to unionize.

No reason to subscribe to any theory other than that.

Then again... Texass, so... nevermind.

Expand full comment