Discover more from Wonkette
Was Trump Telling Aide To Lie When He Told Her To Lie? New York Times Helps ABC With The Hard Questions
It depends on the meaning of WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE.
There was a funny moment in an otherwise good ABC News report this week, which revealed that Donald Trump liked to use the classified documents he stole as scratch paper. From the reporting, it seems like these were extremely dumbed down note cards that had been prepared for the purpose of briefing Trump when he was president, since non-scratch ‘n’ sniff documents with lots of words were too hard for Trump.
The aide in question, Molly Michael, had also told investigators that last year, when Trump found out the FBI wanted to interview Michael about his stolen classified documents, he said to her, “You don’t know anything about the boxes.”
And ABC News said, we shit you not, “It’s unclear exactly what he meant by that.”
And everybody started laughing at ABC News for being such a naive idiot, and started coming up with funny things to tell ABC News to see if they would believe it.
“Hey ABC News! Milk feels pain.”
“Hey ABC News! Cows live underground. When you see them standing still in a pasture, it’s because they’re guarding the entrances to their underground houses. They have guns.”
“Hey ABC News! It’s totally possible that when Donald Trump is clearly telling his underlings to lie and/or commit crimes, in the painfully obvious style of a mob boss, that he is not really telling them to lie and/or commit crimes, and we should probably give him the benefit of the doubt.”
Maggie Haberman and one of her Times buddies did ABC News a solid and did their own reporting, wherein they were sure to CLARIFY VERY SLOWLY that Trump meant to tell Michael to lie just then. The headline explains that Trump told Michael “not to acknowledge” that she knew about his stolen classified boxes.
Then the first graf:
A former assistant to Donald J. Trump has informed investigators that the former president told her to say she did not know anything about the boxes containing classified documents that he had stashed at his private club in Florida after leaving the White House, according to a person briefed on her comments.
And then Haberman’s reporting goes back and confirms the rest of what ABC News had to say about Trump drawing dicks on the classified briefing flashcards he stole from the White House.
Trump’s spox Steven Cheung, who is paid to defend history’s most pointless American, is just apoplectic about all of this, in a statement that’s pretty much the same as what ABC News had:
“These illegal leaks are coming from sources which totally lack proper context and relevant information,” said Steven Cheung, a spokesman for Mr. Trump. “The Department of Justice should investigate the criminal leaking, instead of perpetrating their baseless witch hunts.”
Sure thing, Steven. Did Daddy write that for you on a classified notecard?
Wonkette is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
It’s nice to see the New York Times helping somebody else out, though. Usually it’s the Times that’s totally missed the fucking point, writing shitty headlines like “Investigating Donald Trump, FBI Sees No Clear Link To Russia," and everybody else (Wonkette) has to gently show the paper of record Journalism, How Does It Work?
We guess they’re just paying it forward this time.
New York Times Wonders If It MAY Have Shit Bed A Tiny On That Little Trump-Russia Story Just That One Time
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.