Discover more from Wonkette
Washington Bigot Florist Will Frost Jesus's Cakes In Heaven, No Gays Allowed
Just last week, Good Christian Bigot Barronelle Stutzman, the owner of Arlene's Flowers, Inc., received some bad news when a Washington Superior Court judge told her that no, her "relationship with Jesus" was not a good excuse for discriminating against The Gay, in violation of the state's Consumer Protection Act. Stutzman had begged the judge to pretty please make all the lawsuits against her go away because her refusal to provide flowers for a gay customer's gay wedding whose gay money she'd happily been taking for nearly a decade was all just a "misunderstanding." The judge agreed that yes, there was indeed a misunderstanding, by Stutzman, of how the law works.
After the judge told Stutzman she is wrong about absolutely everything, and her "firmly held religious beliefs" do not trump "the law," state Attorney General Bob Ferguson offered Stutzman a super sweet deal to settle the case and make the pain stop: a payment of $2001 for violating the law plus costs and fees and "an agreement not to discriminate in the future."
Being a real smart business lady, Stutzman has agreed to take the deal. Hahaha, just kidding! In a letter to AG Ferguson, which is not hyperbolic or straight-up cray-cray AT ALL, she explained why she must respectfully decline his offer:
Your offer reveals that you don’t really understand me or what this conflict is all about. It’s about freedom, not money. I certainly don’t relish the idea of losing my business, my home, and everything else that your lawsuit threatens to take from my family, but my freedom to honor God in doing what I do best is more important. Washington’s constitution guarantees us “freedom of conscience in all matters of religious sentiment.” I cannot sell that precious freedom. You are asking me to walk in the way of a well-known betrayer, one who sold something of infinite worth for 30 pieces of silver. That is something I will not do.
I pray that you reconsider your position.
So far, the attorney general has refused to answer Stutzman's prayers and change his position, also known as, ahem, THE LAW, as the judge already explained to Stutzman last week, Jesus Christ, was she even listening? No, she was not, and also, she still has that pesky "misunderstanding" of the whole situation:
I never imagined that using my God-given talents and abilities, and doing what I love to do for over three decades, would become illegal.
It sure would be a tragedy if the state of Washington had made it a crime to make floral arrangements, but that did not actually happen. Maybe Stutzman's fancy lawyers at the Alliance Defending Freedom can explain that to her? That's the group that loves loves LOVES to represent poor oppressed bigots think everyone's out to get them just because they believe their beliefs are a valid excuse for pretty much anything, including law-breaking.
Because Stutzman would rather be a martyr on the cross, in the name of "freedom," than the back-stabbing guy who sold out Jesus, she is just going to keep praying that the state's attorney general or maybe some activist judge will decide the law does not apply to her. Given that judges everywhere have been activistly deciding the First Amendment does not actually protect your right to be a bigot, we're sure that will work out just fine for Ms. Stutzman. Who, by the way, is still happy to keep taking that gay money from her gay customers, as long as she doesn't have to gay-wedding them, because sometimes even selling out Jesus is worth it.