279 Comments
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phoenix00's avatar

I expect the Spanish Inquisition more than I expect a paycheque from Trump.

phoenix00's avatar

Is Obama born in the USA? Call Sean.Should we keep calling Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas? Call Sean.Which floozy eastern European supermodel should I boink extramaritally next? Call Sean.Need a pizza/taco bowl? Call Sean.

H0mer0's avatar

that sounds like you're saying that if you brush your teeth, you don't have to wipe your ass (okay, maybe not exactly, but the logic reminded me of that.)

H0mer0's avatar

I was so jealous of my brother who studied French because he got to read all those cartoon books

Serai 1's avatar

Olbermann on Trump's slimy connections to Russia and Putin:

https://www.youtube.com/wat...

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

I know at least 100 people. They probably know at least a hundred people who I don't know, who in turn know a hundred people each and so forth. Therefore I am worth 1000 million billion trillion quintrillion dollars (not counting my "brand," of course.) It's logic! And math, also, too.

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

...because I want to laugh inappropriately.

...because I want to laugh inappropriately

FIFY

steelhips's avatar

Mary Poppins with never be the same.

hvdv's avatar

"Donald Trump thinks he is worth $10 billion because he counts all his employees’ income as his own. Sort of like when your boss says “I PAY YOUR RENT,” because your boss is a real piece of shit."

This is what some of my students do, who think their relatively piddly tuition (state school!) pays my bills and that therefore I am their servant whose only job is to hand them As--after all, they paid for them! (Sorry, bad day at school.)

Longstreet63's avatar

Tell them they should have specified a specific grade on their applications. If they didn't, then it's not an "A grade" so much as "a grade". And today's special is on D's.

Longstreet63's avatar

Also possibly some Tucks.

Longstreet63's avatar

Well, wherever you feel the need for sweet relief from itching, burning, and swelling, I suppose.