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ᴄᴏɢꜱᴡᴇʟʟ's avatar

𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘇 𝗥𝗲𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁: 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗽 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗥𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗘𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗡𝗼𝗻-𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗥𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝗲

Aug 05, 2024

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Vice President Kamala Harris is plotting to “rig the election” by choosing a running mate whom millions of people do not hate, Donald J. Trump alleged on Sunday.

“She’s going to pick someone who’s likeable and appeals to voters, which, quite frankly, is unfair,” Trump said. “This should never be allowed to happen in our country.”

Calling the choice of a competent and attractive running mate “a stone-cold dirty trick,” he asserted, “I would never do something like that.”

In order to “level the playing field,” Trump said, Harris should be forced to choose a running mate who “offends voters every time he opens his mouth,” adding, “If she’s having trouble finding someone that horrible, Eric and Don Jr. can help.”

SethTriggs's avatar

I myself like Beshear for the matchup against Shillbilly. But I'm also liking Walz. More and more this guy is really just appealing to me. All these folks are great on the stump though. (I get amused by how much Shapiro's voice sounds like Barack Obama's.)

Of course my fave, for the kind of "go big or go home" aspect is picking Secretary Mayor Pete, and just letting him loose on all the TV shows. But let's see who it is, and let's all keep ourselves motivated.

Remember the keys to success here:

1. Attacks are already here against Kamala Harris and they need to be countered. Nothing's off the table. But job one is to remember: Kamala Harris has had like a 30-year career. If there was anything actually bad in her positions or career it would've come out already. You don't win THREE statewide elections and a national ticket win with skeletons in the closet.

2. This is the prime time for chaos agents. Remember, bad faith attacks in the guise of advocacy for an issue will come up. Ask yourself when these come up:

a. Is the claimant someone with actual long-term receipts in advocacy for the issue in question?

b. Has the claimant advocated in non-election years and against other candidates with similar positions? If they specifically pop up to attack only Kamala Harris; it's an op. Note the FBA/ADOS claimants.

c. News media are not going to be able to handle nuance. For example, George Stephanopoulos missed an opportunity with Byron Donalds to give this fool the exact context of why AP wrote that Kamala Harris is the first Indian-American Senator, because she is not the first Black and/or woman senator.

3. Polls are going to go down inevitably because remember, Kamala Harris is already targeted by the rightwing media human centipede. Stay the course and be sure to counter the attacks online or with friend groups. Do not panic and remember the mission!

4. Check your registration often and have your voting plan together. Republicans are working hard to make it hard to vote. You have to work much harder to ensure your vote against their suppression.

Remember, they know your vote is extremely powerful; that's why they work so hard to suppress it.

Mount up!

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