Weather Channel Has Evil Scheme To Trick Old Wingnuts Into Believing Climate Change Is Real

If you are an 86-year-old wingnut, next time you switch back to the Weather Channel from "Wheel Of Fortune," you might be in for a surprise. There might be a terrible and bad Smartie Pants person talking at you about how "climate change is real" and "no seriously, it is real, you moron." Even worse, it might be a Republican. Why is the Weather Channeldoing tyranny and betrayal to you, when you're just trying to find out the current forecast for as many cities as you possibly can before you fall asleep in your chair?

“The Climate 25” from The Weather Channel brings together 25 of the most interesting voices on climate change, security, energy and peace. The cross-platform experience features interviews with Army General Charles Jacoby, who describes new military risks in the melting Arctic; Unilever CEO Paul Polman, who faces $300M a year in climate disruption costs; and former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson, who calls inaction on climate change “radical risk taking” for our economy.

Other conversations include Republican EPA chiefs Christine Todd Whitman and William K. Reilly, who look for solutions beyond the political divide; New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman, who explains how extreme drought, potentially worsened by climate change, was a spark in the Syrian civil war; and experts as far afield as Uganda, Bangladesh and Papua New Guinea, who explain how they are dealing with climate change today.

Look at all those Republicans! Christine Todd Whitman looks wingnuts right in the eye and says, "It's our issue." Also on the list? Former president of the Koch brothers-funded Heartland Institute Eli Lehrer, who has OBVIOUSLY fallen in with the wrong crowd. Next thing you know, he'll be smoking drugs and disrespecting his parents.

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But wasn't Sen. Jim Inhofe on the Senate floor very recently, holding a snowball, and thus proving "global warming" is fake? Who can Wingnut Olds believe anymore???

Of course, the Weather Channel would prefer they listen to the scientists and other adult experts featured in the "Climate 25" series, people who actually care that the Earth is being destroyed while conservative Republican politicians and their little helpers -- the Koch brothers kind, and also just the idiots who spend snowstorms walking around outside screaming "whar's your global warmin' now, lib'ruls?!" while they pick their frostbitten assholes -- twiddle their thumbs.

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Weather Channel president David Clark told Slate, "We felt that we needed to give a stage to some of the more courageous voices on the right,” and added, “We are not policy experts; we are scientists.” How freaking sad it is that acknowledging the existence of climate change is "courageous." And indeed, one of the experts featured in "The Climate 25" is former South Carolina Republican Rep. Bob Inglis, who actually received a JFK Profiles In Courage Award for being willing to say the words "climate change" three times in a row, while spinning in a dark room in front of a mirror, without being zapped dead on the spot by Republican Jesus and the ghost of Ronald Reagan.

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So maybe this will have an effect! Or maybe all the Wingnut Olds will never know what the weather forecast is EVER AGAIN, because they can't handle seeing all theliberal atheistsconservative pro-business experts saying lies about rising sea levels and water shortages and record-setting heatwaves, when Jesus would never let that happen. Doesn't matter, they're gonna die soon, and yeah, you'd think they might care about leaving a livable world behind for their descendants, but they don't, so fuck them.

[ WebWire / Think Progress / Slate ]