2532 Comments
User's avatar
Matthew Hooper's avatar

Working questions here.

ExecutorElassus's avatar

If you don't launch Willem Dafoe's lobster rant straight into the face of some unsuspecting customer at least once on your pirate-themed retreat, I'm going to be very disappointed.

"Ye fancies me Bloody Marys, I knows it! Ye lyin' dog! Haaaaaaark!" etc etc

Meccalopolis's avatar

I once dared one of my waiters, and friend to provide service to a table as an Eastern European count, he didn't break character once. "You will have drinks now," in the accent, told them what wine to buy, it was hysterical. He got a huge tip.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

What’s the difference between “basic” and “based?” I don’t speak Gen Z.

motmelere's avatar

Basic rips on the large majority of us that do unspeakable things like Olive Garden. Based is the underbelly of humanity that can't reach high enough to scratch the belly of a snake on ICE. Those sociopaths are true to their hate-filled ideals. Weird how eating pasta is a fault while those seeking a final solution earn a salute.

Spleen Victoria's avatar

Basic is Becky in leggings drinking a pumpkin spice latte. Based is Catturd in a Hitler mustache sitting in Mom’s basement pwning the libs.

motmelere's avatar

...and so proud of it that his landlady will never know.

Mighty Little Dog's avatar

Based is when you smoke it

motmelere's avatar

That will get you 20 to life if you're not white.

JCfromNC's avatar

I don't either, but as a fellow Oldz I think basic is bad and based is good. But I'm prepared to be corrected on that.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Which will Americans receive first, the $5000 DOGE checks or the $2000 tariff rebate checks?

ShrillKitty's avatar

So "orange shrub" is not some hideous bastard child of TFG and GWB?

That's a relief.

Dave's Not Here's avatar

** I just threw up in my mouth a little.**

My Erdos Number Is Five's avatar

Should I start drinking again?

arglebargle's avatar

I stopped earlier today. I started again this evening.

Georgiaburning's avatar

An ex-GF made wonderful coffee liqueur from fresh coffee and vanilla beans soaking in some clear spirit that I don’t remember. She was also a bit crazy so it might have included turpentine.

tehbaddr's avatar

I had one that made a wormwood, anise, and other things extract. It was some pretty weird stuff.

ziggywiggy's avatar

I love the bottom picture. Good photography is important part of doing recipes.

I love The Department of Salad not only for great recipes but also Emily Nunn's pictures are beautiful.

https://open.substack.com/pub/emilyrnunn/p/scrappy-winter-pasta-salads-orzo?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Matthew Hooper's avatar

The light at the bar is really hit-or-miss sometimes. It's nice to get a picture like this.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

This looks good, Hoop! But we (Mrs. Toomush and I) just got back from standing on a street corner in the wet snow, wet coats and wet gloves and wet Stop the Save Bullshit signs, and are now having a hot rum toddy (Mount Gay Eclipse, of course) with cinnamon sticks to restore our health and warmth! Skol!...

Uncle Betamax's avatar

"Kahlua is garbage."

A bold statement. I disagree, you can use it to make amazing muffin icing. :P

Hirightnow's avatar

"Muffin Icing" sounds like a porn title...

Maureen's avatar

When you say it like that…

goCatgo's avatar

Perfectly normal.

Just means she's happy to see you. 🙄

Uncle Betamax's avatar

I mean, do you want it to be?

Hirightnow's avatar

The local afternoon talk radio crew does trivia before the 6:00 break, and they were switching it up on Fridays with "Pick the Porn", where the caller would have to pick the one fake porno title from a list of 4.

They've never used any double entendre involving the word "muffin" to the best of my knowledge, which seems a lost opportunity.

What A Debacle's avatar

As a resident of Mexico I have to stand up for the virtue of the carajillo. I would urge you to give it a chance, to play with it.

They can vary in quality, but the worst I've ever had here still tasted damn good.

Typically, the espresso around here is muy fuerte and pretty tasty so that helps a lot.

As far as sweetness goes, yeah it's sweet, but it IS dessert.

Usually the drink is made here using only cooled espresso and Licor 43, about equal amounts. I suspect it's better when the espresso amount is more than the Licor 43.

When it comes out the color of ice tea, nope. It should be (to my taste) brown, the color of Coke.

And the espresso should definitely be cool so as not to dilute the drink.

Pour over a shaker of ice and shake it silly. That's "shakeado"

I would urge you to give it a chance, to play with it.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Oh, don't get me wrong, I love carajillos. The "problem" is that they're showing signs of becoming trendy. We're probably going to see a lot of non-carajillo things called carajillos by the end of the year. I'm waiting with bated breath for Starbucks to make something like it.

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

After three straight weekends in New Orleans, including two where I rode in actual parades, I am giving my body a well-deserved break from fried food and booze.

At least until Monday.

knockedoutloaded's avatar

I'll be there by Friday to pick up the slack!

G-7 in Space's avatar

Fun times .,.,send Boudin...

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

So.... a sort of short and medicinal Lent?...

What A Debacle's avatar

Damn you. I will take some Acme grilled oysters, BBQ shrimp, a Muffaletta, shrimp po boy and a Dixie.

knockedoutloaded's avatar

almost Crawfish season also too!

Miss Grundy's avatar

I haven't had a Dixie Blackened Voodoo in a long time. But if I can't find it, I'm willing to have an Abita Amber.

I miss beer.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Abita is one of my favorite beer brands. Love me an Abita Purple Haze.

knockedoutloaded's avatar

I'm an Amber man myself!

Miss Grundy's avatar

Hmmm, I'm going to have to try that one!

Baconzgood's avatar

OT.

Nice to see ya.

Sincerely,

Baconzgood.

Crystalclear12's avatar

Rebecca: and you need to pin a places for questions at the top

Matthew: with this crowd?

R: so they ask questions about the drink.

M: *laughs hysterically * sure, why not?

*puts on snark waders*

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

I hope he doesn't hate us when we ask dumb shit that has nothing to do with anything.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

It's the price I pay so I don't have to dig through the whole thread for relevant questions.

Free beach's avatar

He must know this by now.

WTAXF- Fleshly Ecstasies 😂's avatar

💯 tantamount to hijinx otherwise… he knows his awedience here snark emporium

Crystalclear12's avatar

Why hasn't Rooster Cogburn stood up his round?

marxalot's avatar

i’ve got a party of approx 30 people to prep punch and cocktail (one, this is a menu fixe) for, about three hours long

how many drinks per person am i planning for? the cocktail math i can do, if i run out of pathfinder they can go drink tap water, but i forget the drinks per victim per hour math

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Depends on the punch/cocktail. I've upscaled maragetia by the gallon before. I'd assume 2 drinks per person for a three-hour event - some will refrain or ask for beer or wine, which will make the math work.

Crystalclear12's avatar

Just always make you get the first and last drinks.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

"DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY WORK HERE WHO CAN SEE THAT I'M HOLDING AN EMPTY MARGARITA GLASS FOR TWO WHOLE MINUTES? I HAVE 37 FOLLOWERS ON MY INSTAGRAM!"

Baconzgood's avatar

Calm down

The most important question is "how much bacon do you have available?"

G-7 in Space's avatar

Baby, have I seen ya'?!

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

How do you not sucker punch a bunch of assholes who get to the bar and then decide what they want to drink?

"Oh, Steph wants a martini. What's that? An espresso martini. What do you want, Jake?" etc etc

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Honestly? I lead them by the nose through the menu. My opening greeting includes the phrase, "If you want something specific, let me know, and I'll make that. If you don't know what you want, let me know what you normally like to drink, and I'll find something on the menu that's similar, but much better." I channel most drinkers to the cocktails we put on the menu for them.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Dr. Cox "If I've been waiting for 20 minutes in the line to order coffee and the guy in front of me can't decide what he wants, I should have the right to kill him right then and there."

Pisto75666-Radical Left Scum's avatar

This rule should also apply to ordering in Subway and McDonald's.

satch's avatar

As long as YOU know what you want.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

I know

Large hot black coffee, no room.

"M"'s avatar

Y'all are hardcore

you're not hardcore

unless you live hardcore

Goonemeritus's avatar

My Son has strongly made the case that a moka pot doesn't make expresso. Kids today are pretty opinionated.

glenglish's avatar

I still make my coffee in a soup pot on the stove or a canning jar in the microwave. Grind about a heaping tablespoon or so of beans per cup while heating water to about nearly boiling (95° C or 200° Murican). Add ground coffee. Stir with tablespoon after a few minutes to get the grounds to settle. Strain through a fine metal tea strainer (optional) and drink to the mud-line while grooving on the oil slick. Feed plants and armadillo bugs the grounds and dregs.

YaJagoff's avatar

Armadillo bugs AKA Rolli Pollies or Potato Bugs?

glenglish's avatar

Pill bugs, wood lice, sow bugs... They ain't insects, though. Crustaceans. Some of them roll into balls some don't. They're great for the garden n'suspect they eat the compost cuz they're always under leaf litter; like I read somewhere they're detritivores but they will eat fruit on the ground like strawberries or tomatoes.

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Come for the dick jokes, stay for the arcane tidbits of knowledge that you are not going to pick up anywhere else.

Russell Jones's avatar

In the early 1990s, two different Yes lineups got together and put out the album Union. Rick Wakeman said he called the album "Onion" because it was so bad that he cried whenever he heard it. But holy shit, the tour they did in 1991 was spectacular. On stage at the same time were all the band members who ended up getting inducted into the Rock & Roll HOF: Jon Anderson (vocals), Chris Squire (bass), Steve Howe and Trevor Rabin (guitar), Tony Kaye and Wakeman (keys), and Alan White and Bill Bruford (drums).

https://youtu.be/sz1TEHiMXGc

Mildred Downey Broxon's avatar

Well, it's OT anyhow, so I wanted to share this: According to my oncologist, I am over the lung cancer. 5 years. In a little while longer, assuming luck holds, I'll be judged free of the throat cancer, which showed up later (different cell type). Yes, these are smoker's cancers. No, I never smoked, not even weed; can't breathe if I do. And now, having done something about what's evidently chronic hypokalemia, I feel like actually DOING THINGS! World, beware!

Zyxomma's avatar

We're thrilled for you! Fuck cancer.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Congrats, that if fantastic news.

NatalyaResists's avatar

That is wonderful news. I hope it keeps coming. Be well.

helenasgarden's avatar

I really have no words. What a mountain you have climbed. Many kudos. Now go out into the world, youngling, and grab it by the ovaries. I am so happy and relieved for you.🤗

Mildred Downey Broxon's avatar

I’m 81, so I may just stroll around and look at things. And breathe, and rescue abused cats.

Reader's avatar

Tonight, riding on a slightly elevated road while the sun was going down, a road along a hillside, there was a row of trees a ways back. They had a sharp line between shadow and illuminated, bc of the road's shadow. Highly recommend. Congratulations on this huge news.

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

go easy - it is possible to have too many cats

helenasgarden's avatar

As long as there is spirit, there is a youngling. What a lovely path you've chosen. ♥️ I'm a bit younger than you and find this inspiring.

John Thorstensen's avatar

Excellent! Fuck cancer. My own "cancer journey" was undoubtedly far less arduous (and hopefully done for after 5 years).

Eileen's avatar

WOOT!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!

Russell Jones's avatar

That is awesome, MDB! Way to kick cancer in the yarbles!

SkeptiKC's avatar

There could be NO more glorious information posted, beloved comrade!

Tears of unmitigated JOY quite literally bathe my face!

abbienormal's avatar

Congratulations! You must be relieved.

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

Fuck yes! And fuck cancer!

blueicebank's avatar

Yes, well ...

"Epstein and Supreme Court blow cast clouds over Trump's State of the Union: report"

https://www.rawstory.com/trump-state-of-the-union-2675290712/

Now IF I were to summarize the State of the Union, I'd lead off with a quote from Good Morning Vietnam! weather report, by Robin Williams:

"The weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy ... It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut."

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

it will be the usual nonsensical rant about - the Supremes, so terrible, Epstein, I never knew him! Exonerated. THe End

Oh, and this time no fucking handshake for traitor Roberts - the worst!

*SNUB*

helenasgarden's avatar

More like the "State of the Rant".

More importantly, what will the Dems do then?

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

The best part of the SotU is that when he shits his pants, those are Republicans sitting just behind him.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

We used to say "Lower than a snake's dick in a wagon wheel rut."

pstokk's avatar

Yeah but snakes have two, so which one is being referred to?

Reader's avatar

Snakes have two??

Chino Cherokee's avatar

Not sure what's going on, but for some reason I haven't received my tariff refund yet...

??

Anyone else not received it, or am I the only one?

glenglish's avatar

Look for the line of penguins.

Noma Larkey's avatar

Mine will go to the taxes I owe. So Unc Sam will get his when I get mine.

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

did you even get you medical insurance rebate? $1000 as I recall.

blueicebank's avatar

Mine was lost along with my Soros Bucks. Same place where the missing socks go.

SkeptiKC's avatar

My mail box has yet to be graced with any such delivery.

swmnguy's avatar

Do you have Direct Deposit set up? If you do, you should check to make sure you're not overdrawn into 5 figures.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Just because: a series of John Oliver jokes about Adam Driver.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gsbbztvqs0s

Sojourner Truth's avatar

For reasons of personal brain weirdness, I read that as "jokes about John Denver" and thought it seemed mean.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

BTW, remember me talking about brain fog? It was getting so bad I was beginning to think it was dementia! Anyway, I discovered in my case it's caused by brain inflammation that can be temporarily eased with aspirin or Ibuprofin.

Shananigan's avatar

Reduce or eliminate as many scented products as you can from your life.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Did I tell you about the lady I worked with who slathered on Calvin Klein Obsession every day? It gave me massive headaches and when she refused to stop wearing it and management wouldn't transfer me I quit.

Shananigan's avatar

This is common. I've been dealing with it for years now where I work. People don't care.

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

Uh, is there a more long term solution for brain inflammation? How does one inflame their brain?

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Age is a huge factor, as well as diet and other factors.

I know NSAID's aren't sustainable long term so I plan on asking the Dr on my next visit.

blueicebank's avatar

When any fellow Old chimes in about their memory not what it used to be, I summarize from some scientific study, that concluded that with age, our brain's hard drive fills up, thus reducing efficiency.

Used in a sentence: "I think my brain misplaced that memory, owing to hard drive capacity issues."

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Ever see the Married with Children episode where Bud helped Kelly with a test by eliminating memories like her address and phone number so she'd have room for information pertinent to the test??

vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

whar Range Rover?!?

Rosy red ASS's avatar

I am out for the day. Gonna go do something to clear my grumpy head. Laters fellow sufferers.

Kay Ducky's avatar

Dog (and cat!) speed on your journey.

Kay Ducky's avatar

After yesterday, when I again swore off all unnecessary spending in this shithole country with an idiot madman at the helm, my water heater is now acting up. And I had such a bad night that I don't even feel like really looking at it today.

John Thorstensen's avatar

For years our hot water heated by a forced-hot water loop from the oil-fired boiler, which meant we were burning oil all summer. We switched to a heat-pump hot water heater and it's worked well.

Rosy red ASS's avatar

I too have decided that I don't need to spend on anything that isn't necessary. I would call a water heater NECESSARY spending though.

Kay Ducky's avatar

More of an irony thing. Like on Jan 20 last year, I swore off spending, and my television died.

VaselineHabits's avatar

Like when I started a diet and didn't weigh myself for a week. As soon as I stepped on the scale, it broke 😅

EyeQueue's avatar

I would have taken that as a divine sign that I didn't have to diet. XD XD XD

Rosy red ASS's avatar

Classic! The universe has such a perverse sense of humor.

VaselineHabits's avatar

Eh! I get it though... we have a 14 year old laptop and my husband is dying to get a new one.

Like, we NEED it before it actually dies and we're fucked/losing our shit... but I don't want to "participate in the economy" at all.

Jens TINGLEFF's avatar

In the meantime, do a backup. Right away. I had a windows machine main drive go bad so inconspicuously that, when I finally checked, it refused to do a backup. Grrr!!

pstokk's avatar

I would back up your shit on something right away, you don't need to wait for the new computer

Birb-General of the US's avatar

If you can use Windows 10 there is a glut of those in the secondhand market for under a hundred bucks.

satch's avatar

Problem with that is that there are a lot of little people in the economy just trying to get by. They'll be the first to be hurt.

VaselineHabits's avatar

While I TOTALLY understand, those are the very people that need to REALIZED they are fucked either way and the only way out is to FIGHT BACK.

I completely understand the economic pressures, I really do, but I learned a long time ago “THEY” will kill us without blinking an eye. We should have been planning YEARS ago and it's going to take work - but those at the bottom NEED to realize WE OUTNUMBER THEM. Act like it.

EyeQueue's avatar

This. I understand, too, but this is OUR FUCKING COUNTRY! that is being taken over by Nazi thugs. We need to pull out all the stops to get them OUT.

We can do things like Minneapolis did and donate to people in the areas affected, but we can't NOT economic boycott b/c some workers may be hurt.

And the "oh these people work hard and are so exhaused they can't care about politics" wears really fucking thin, IMO.

They need to wake the fuck up.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

If you know someone who works at a local school ask them if they can talk to a tech guy about getting a used laptop because they're returned every two years. You'll have to reinstall an OS but it's a good time to learn how to use Linux!

EyeQueue's avatar

Now that you say that, universities may have a similar program. We get new laptops every 2-3 years and I don't know what happens to our old ones.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

I imagine they're sold in bulk to someone who resells them on Amazon or Ebay. Tech guy said roughly half are returned every year when they order new ones. He had literally HUNDREDS of them stacked on a table in the library after school was over.

Jens TINGLEFF's avatar

For bonus points, get one with a replaceable battery and a new battery. And then battery condition properly (fully charge, discharge by using, repeat three-four times and then every 6 months or in regular use). You will get massively better use time on a charge.

EyeQueue's avatar

Jeez, I had no idea.

VaselineHabits's avatar

That's actually an amazing suggestion and we do know a few teachers 💜💙

swmnguy's avatar

Depends on the district. And be sure the RAM hasn't been pulled. That's common now, as the cost of RAM has skyrocketed.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

I was friends with the tech guy at the school and when I inquired he asked "How many do you want?" I got 3 because I didn't want to appear greedy and gave one to a friend whose High School daughter needed one.

The Wanderer's avatar

Quote to ponder:

____________________________

"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.”

-- Hermann Göring

Jens TINGLEFF's avatar

Some time before Göring, Machiavelli had similar low opinion about democracy. Voters can always be bought, he reckoned.

SkeptiKC's avatar

This is regretably too damned accurate.

The Wanderer's avatar

Say what you like about Dicke Hermann, he had some political instincts.

SkeptiKC's avatar

He might have done great things for the German people had he aligned himself with less aggressive political forces.

The Wanderer's avatar

Bear in mind that, before he hooked up with Mustache Man and the Spicy Pinwheel Gang, Hermann had been unemployed, a drug addict, and committed to a mental institution twice. And he remained a bit of a Mighty Morphine Power Ranger almost to the end of the war.

SkeptiKC's avatar

All of those depraved Nazis were drug addicts, so help me Sagan. The ones who weren't zoned out on morphine were bouncing off of the bombed out walls on meth.

Hitler knew that keeping the populace medicated was enormously beneficial to him.

The Wanderer's avatar

He himself was pretty tanked up. Cocaine drops to start the day, meth to keep him going, various other preparations to level out the worst effects of those two, vitamins, etc.

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

But this moment is less about the president’s tariff authority and more about the constitutional crisis that the court has foisted upon the nation. Up to this point, the justices had shown notable restraint in confronting Trump, frequently permitting contested policies to remain in place while legal challenges worked their way through the courts. Over and over, they overruled lower courts to deliver Trump the victories he sought. Yesterday marked the first occasion where the court delivered a definitive judgment on the lawfulness of a core element of Trump’s agenda where he came up short.

In a single news cycle, Roberts’ Faustian bargain evaporated. An enraged Trump said that the justices who ruled against his tariffs are “very unpatriotic and disloyal to the Constitution.” He attacked the patriotism of the judges who ruled against him and said that the court "has been swayed by foreign interests.” He saved an extra dose of venom for two of his own appointees, Neil Gorsuch and Amy Coney Barrett, saying that their decision to side with the majority was “an embarrassment to their families, you wanna know the truth, the two of them.”

Paradoxically, there is absolutely nothing the courts can do to stop Trump from ignoring their decision and he knows it. These same justices have given him the pen with which to sign their judicial death warrant — and with it, the end of our constitutional republic, if he so wishes. .

-- Julie Roginsky

pstokk's avatar

The tariffs have to be implemented by governmental bodies and staff, and enforced if importers just refuse to pay. All of those thousands of governmental employees can be sued, they don't have immunity for their actions, even if Trump does for ordering them to ignore the finding (I think?). All those lawsuits potentially end up in the SC. So there's plenty the SC can do enforce their finding.

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

So I guess no handshake for Roberts at the SOTU

VwllssWndr's avatar

He's right about them being disloyal to the Constitution, just not the way he thinks.

VaselineHabits's avatar

Are we up to the 200th "Constitutional Crisis" yet?

We had them back in his first term but I guess it was "rude" to point it out. Now? Every single fucking day since his inauguration he's broken the law and embarrassed the nation.

Every. Single. Fucking. Day.

I guess we'll just wait and watch until/while Trump gets SCOTUS and Dems reps rounded up and executed.

Stanta Knows's avatar

It's only my 19th Nervous Breakdown this week.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

They done let him beat old Norm and leave him for dead in a ditch; Norm isn’t going save you now, sorry. You broke this shit. Oops.

satch's avatar

How's that Presidential Immunity thing going for you, Johnny?

Pat Kolmer's avatar

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE WONKETTE MISSED THIS STORY?!?!?!?!?

Scott Shapiro

‪@scottjshapiro.bsky.social

BREAKING: DOJ to investigate Supreme Court for mortgage fraud.

10:33 AM · Feb 20, 2026

Birb-General of the US's avatar

I think they can beat the raps. I heard that they know some pretty good lawyers.

swmnguy's avatar

That's pretty funny.

Of course, soon enough it won't be a joke.

The jurisprudence process would be hilarious though; like Little Billy's path home from school in "The Family Circus."

Lblomg's avatar

Start with Thomas

satch's avatar

Yes ... there might actually be something there with him.

satch's avatar

"Mortgage fraud" again? These really are the dumbest bunch of one note goons ever to infest America.

Ted Cruz's Beard's avatar

Le sigh…needed every single guess today.

Wordle 1,708 6/6

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WordleBot

Skill 81/99

Luck 38/99

Lblomg's avatar

2 days in a row for me

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

The drink photo keeps reminding me of Parliament Funkadelic’s Mothership.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

To start your Saturday, Wonkederos:

𝗪𝗲 𝗚𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗸

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4nOHdUntyM