Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Obituary!

A refreshing New Orleans martini for the depths of summer.

As refreshing as it looks.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. It’s midsummer, and I’m dreaming of New Orleans, pirates, and tasty cocktails. Let’s resurrect a long-forgotten iteration on the martini from the Big Easy and enjoy a touch of absinthe. Time to write an Obituary. Here’s the recipe:

Obituary

2 ½ oz Hayman’s of London Old Tom Gin

½ oz Carpano Dry Vermouth

Pernod Absinthe

Lemon twist

Chill a martini glass in the freezer. Add gin and vermouth to a mixing glass filled with ice. Stir until the outside of the glass is cold. Take the martini glass from the freezer and spray the glass with a mist of absinthe. Strain the gin and vermouth into the mixing glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

Martinis never quite go out of style. There are a lot of sweet, sticky variations on them, like appletinis, espresso martinis, and Lord knows what else. There are Spartan versions of them that amount to little more than chilled vodka in a glass. But the mystique of crystal clear liquor in that iconic glass will always have a place at the bar.

Mind you, variations on the two-ingredient martini have been with us for a very long time. This absinthe-touched iteration on the classic dates back to the 1940s, courtesy of Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop. Lafitte’s is the oldest bar in America, and I genuflect in its direction whenever I visit the city. It’s a crisp, sweet, complex addition to the pantheon of traditional New Orleans cocktails. But it raises the question of why absinthe finds its way into so many New Orleans classics. The Sazerac, absinthe frappe, and this drink all add the green fairy to their recipes. Why does absinthe have a home here? The answers can be found in my favorite bar in the Quarter.

The Old Absinthe House, nestled on the corner of Bienville and Bourbon streets, was built by Pedro Front and Francisco Juncadelia of Barcelona as an import/export firm. In 1815, the ground floor was converted into a saloon known as The Absinthe Room. Cayetano Ferrer created the Absinthe House Frappe there in 1874. I’ve made this drink for Wonkette before; it’s gloriously refreshing, and it would have been a treasure in New Orleans before air conditioning. Per Aleister Crowley: “Art is the soul of life, and the Old Absinthe House is the heart and soul of the old quarter of New Orleans.” Absinthe has had a home in New Orleans for two centuries, and the city doesn’t let go of its past.

The Old Absinthe House is still going strong, and I’m very pleased to report that they still take their absinthe seriously. I’ve tried two or three versions of the green fairy there. Last time I looked, they had nearly a dozen bottles to work through. It would be so easy for a bar in the middle of the Quarter to rely on cheap daiquiris and margaritas to make its money, but the House takes its reputation seriously. The menu lists some absinthe cocktails I’m dying to try when I return to the Big Easy. Until then, I’ll enjoy this beautiful martini and dream of Christmas back in my favorite city in the whole world.

Let’s talk ingredients:

Ingredient shot, including my absinthe misting bottle.

Hayman’s of London Old Tom Gin: My first attempt at this cocktail used Hendrick’s as the base spirit. The green fairy obliterated the gentle rose and cucumber flavors of Hendricks. Use a stout juniper-forward gin for this cocktail; otherwise, you’ll end up with a glass that tastes like nothing but absinthe. Beefeater or Bombay will also work.

Carpano Dry Vermouth: Most of my customers at the country club eschew vermouth. I firmly believe that a martini without vermouth is no more than a glorified shot. This is a great vermouth that makes a martini taste like a real cocktail, instead of a mere glass of booze. Use your favorite. Martini & Rossi will work just fine.

Pernod Absinthe: I keep a small spray bottle of absinthe on the shelf at my home bar just for this kind of cocktail. A light misting is all you need. If you don’t have an absinthe atomizer handy, pour a tiny amount of absinthe into the martini glass and swirl it around. Shake the absinthe out of the glass, then add the chilled gin and vermouth.

Lemon Twist: Ideally, you should squeeze a big twist of lemon over the martini and then discard the twist, leaving you with a pristine, crystal-clear drink. This isn’t great for photographic purposes. A cocktail that looks suspiciously like a glass of water in a martini glass isn’t very inspiring. Toss out the lemon twist at home, or keep it if you want to impress your guests.

We aren’t linking to Amazon anymore, because fuck that coward Bezos with a rusty bar spoon. Go read The Obituary Cocktail: Iconic New Orleans Cocktails by Sue Strachan instead. When a single cocktail inspires an entire book on the ins and outs of New Orleans culture, it’s well worth the read.

You can find me on Bluesky at @samuraigrog!

OPEN THREAD! DRINK!