Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Absinthe Frappe!

Time for a quick visit to the Green Fairy.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. Cracking out the absinthe bottle for our drink a couple weeks ago reminded me of a cocktail I saw all over New Orleans during the holidays. This simple sipper is incredibly refreshing and fun. It’s also a good excuse to talk about greed, hallucinations, hysteria, and murder. Let’s make up an Absinthe Frappe. Here’s the recipe: 

Absinthe Frappe

1 ½ oz Pernod Absinthe

½ oz simple syrup

½ oz fresh lime juice

2-3 mint leaves

2-3 oz club soda

1-2 dashes Peychaud’s bitters

Add absinthe, simple syrup, and mint leaves to a cocktail shaker. Gently muddle the mint leaves and shake the cocktail. Pour over crushed ice. Add soda water and more ice. Stir gently to incorporate. Garnish with a mint sprig and 1-2 dashes of bitters. 

I love absinthe dearly. Mind you, I also love black jelly beans; if you aren’t a fan of licorice or anise, this isn’t your drink. But anise and mint are wonderfully bracing, a fantastic pick-me-up. This particular drink was created in 1874 by Cayetano Ferrer at the Old Absinthe House in New Orleans. Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, and General Robert E. Lee were all fans of the drink. I am very pleased to report that the Old Absinthe House still stands, and you can order a proper Absinthe Frappe there. The ban on absinthe in America was lifted in 2007, and New Orleans has embraced its long-lost spirit with great enthusiasm. 

Of course, that brings up the question of why absinthe was banned in America in 1912. To answer that, we need to talk about The Absinthe Murders. 

[Quick note: If grisly True Crime isn’t your thing, click the button below (generously supplied by Yr Editrix) and skip to the comments. This one’s fucked up, y’all, no shame if you want to skip it.]

On August 28, 1905, Jean Lefray was having a bad day. He had a lot of those; he had a reputation for being a mean drunk, picking fights with strangers and shouting angrily at everyone when he was deep in his cups. And Jean was always deep in his cups. On this particular day, he had drunk seven glasses of wine, six glasses of cognac, one coffee laced with brandy, two crème de menthes, and two glasses of absinthe before coming home from his work as a day laborer. He didn’t make a lot to support his pregnant wife and two young children, and it seems that much of what he did make disappeared down a bottle. 

Jean yelled at his wife, demanding that she polish his shoes, in addition to her many other chores. Tired of his abuses, she yelled back at him. Jean, furious, fetched a rifle and shot his wife in the head, killing her instantly. Their four-year-old daughter, Rose, ran into the room to see what the noise was. Jean shot her as well. Mad with fury, he proceeded to kill their two-year-old daughter, Blanche. As he started to sober up, he realized what he had done. He attempted to shoot himself and failed, lodging a bullet in his jaw instead. Police found him asleep outside his home, cradling Blanche’s body. 

Prosecutors blamed the absinthe in Jean’s system for the murders. The defense argued that the vast quantities of wine and cognac were more to blame, but conservatives were itching to portray absinthe as a poison destroying the character of the nation. Here was their chance. For decades, the Green Fairy had been the drink of choice for artists and bohemians. Moral scolds noticed, producing pseudo-scientific gibberish “proving” that absinthe madness could rot your brain if you so much as touched the stuff. Jean’s murderous rampage was the match that lit the flame; absinthe was banned in Switzerland in 1910, and the rest of the world followed. It took a century for genuine scientific inquiry to figure out that wormwood had almost no hallucinatory qualities (although it is similar, chemically speaking, to THC). Turns out drinking 100 proof liquor is the real culprit in absinthe madness. Go figure. 

As for Jean, he was found guilty and sentenced to thirty years in prison. He hanged himself in his cell three days after the verdict. Good riddance. 

Enough true crime for a Friday. Let’s talk ingredients:

Nothing wrong with a little pick me up, right?

Pernod Absinthe: Pernod is well-distributed and easy to find, but there are a lot of absinthe brands available in America now, including some made in the States. I had an absinthe flight at the Absinthe House in NOLA over New Year’s. I remember that they were tasty, but unsurprisingly the details of that day are hazy. I do recall that distillers are playing with cognac as a base for absinthe and varying their herbal ingredients; the spirit’s becoming more complex and approachable as distillers play with the basic formula. If you like absinthe, some exploration is definitely in order.

Mint: The bigger the bunch on your glass, the better. The scent of the mint as you drink the absinthe is wonderful. You only need to break the leaves of the mint when muddling; don’t make paste. Double straining the cocktail makes sure there are no little green bits of leaf floating in the drink.

Lime Juice: The acid brightens the cocktail just a bit. Always use fresh.

Club Soda: Any sparkling water you choose is fine; pick your favorite. Club soda has a touch of salt, which often improves the flavor of a sweet cocktail, so I went with classic Schweppes and called it good.  

Peychaud’s Bitters: The bitters are more of a garnish than an ingredient here. Peychaud’s also has a strong anise flavor; I knew that the flavors would cooperate in the drink. And I thought a few drips of something blood red on top of your absinthe was appropriate today.

In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!  

If you’re buying cocktail implements and whatnot at Amazon, this button gives us a small commission!

You can find me on Threads and Insta at samurai_grog!

OPEN THREAD!