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Matthew Hooper's avatar

Busy questions here.

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Ward From Cali's avatar

Not a question, but may be helpful. Hooper, a gram of water is exactly one milliliter, by definition. You don't have to weigh it, you can just use a measuring cup with metric markings.

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Matthew Hooper's avatar

Thanks. I have a feeling that a digital scale would be more accurate, at least for me, but that's useful to know.

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Fifth Dentist's avatar

If Jeanine Pirro buys 100 boxes of wine on Monday, 50 boxes of wine on each Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and 217 boxes of wine on Friday, how many boxes of wine does she have left on Saturday?

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Matthew Hooper's avatar

517 empty boxes.

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Connor Fitzgerald's avatar

None! She needs help!

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Opalescent Riddles's avatar

Um... 2?

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

Cleaning that bathroom is going to be hell.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Many boxes, no wine. And the delivery man says he quits.

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JustPixelz's avatar

I was told there would be no math.

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vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

what's better, east coast lobster or west coast lobster?

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ludus's avatar

The lobster in your mouth RIGHT NOW.

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Pope Scipio Newburyporticus's avatar

You mean Maine lobster or not-really-lobster? I saw "lobster" in Europe and there are no claws - they just eat the tails.

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

Not in Germany. We Germans are too stingy to just eat the tails.

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Eileen's avatar

"Shellfish," then, not lobster.

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Goonemeritus's avatar

Everything but tacos are better on the East coast

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Michael Bowen's avatar

I went out to dinner before tonight's Richard Thompson concert and ate at a place called Brasserie 292, where my pre-dinner cocktail was a Vieux Carré (Bourbon, Cognac, Benedictine, Peychaud’s Bitters). I've heard of this before, but this is the first place I've been to that actually had it on the menu. Heavens, it was tasty. Their schnitzel was probably the best I've had in the US as well.

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MRobtheMathSnob's avatar

This recipe needs more Malört.

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Matthew Hooper's avatar

I did a shot of WORSE with a customer last night. Oh God.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

If you drive your car at the speed of light and then turn on your headlights, would they do anything?

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Shocktreatment's avatar

"For what a person pays for a supraluminal car these days, the damn headlights 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 work!"

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Resource NW's avatar

Not till you stop.

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In Crom We Trust's avatar

They illuminate your previous thoughts.

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Aquaman, Real Estate Investor.'s avatar

Speed is like, relative to the frame of, like, observation man.

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JCfromNC's avatar

If a tree falls in the woods, will it scare the crap out of a bear?

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Shocktreatment's avatar

"Trees falling when I crap in the woods...Happens all the time! Scary. Really hurries things..."

The Pope--

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Free beach's avatar

Depends on where it’s crapping.

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schmannity's avatar

Where do the leisurely questions go?

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Matthew Hooper's avatar

When you find out, let me know.

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GladysKravitz'sCurtains's avatar

Into the pocket of a polyester suit from the 1970s?

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JCfromNC's avatar

Inquiring minds want to know!

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Cajun Kid's avatar

Not a question, but a good comment: This sounds amazing, like an adult (grown-up) version of a lemon drop. Just, as Ina Garten might say, with the volume turned way up.

Cheers mate!

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Sister Artemis's avatar

Never would have guessed Wonkette would be all mathy, but it is, and thanks for making it interesting

--Sister A

5-time failure in algebra, now a successful bookkeeper

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Bradthe🤖's avatar

Aren’t you also a tattoo artist?

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Matthew Hooper's avatar

Getting my second tat sometime before the end of the year. Got a rose with my wife's name on my right shoulder; I want my fencing club's heraldry on my left.

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Sister Artemis's avatar

Yep, though about done with my career. After 30ish years, my back, hips and patience are about worn out.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

If I ever have the enormous pleasure of making your acquaintance I rather desperately hope that you'll come out of retirement long enough to illuminate some of my remaining virgin flesh with something unique and intrinsically YOUR style.

I need a new tatt.

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Sister Artemis's avatar

alas, I think I’m pretty much done. Very open to TALKING tattoo, not so much able to actually do them anymore :(

Our studio shut down about a week before Oregon shut down all personal services for the COVID crisis response - we saw the trajectory of the spread of the virus, and knew we did NOT want to be a vector where one customer passed COVID to another, or to us. At that time, no one was sure exactly how the disease was being spread, but we were pretty sure simply sanitizing everything wasn’t going to cut it.

So we ended up being closed for 14 months (thank the stars my boss had us as employees, a rare thing in that industry, and I was able to collect unemployment), and after a month or two into the shutdown, I realized there were whole areas of my back that no longer hurt, and that the bursitis in my hips was easing up. When we did get back to work, I started out at 4 days, and all that pain came back. I went down to 3 days, then 2. Better, but still hard. I started limiting the number of long sessions I did; still not enough to relieve the pain.

And so it goes. Still have my license, still have a friend’s studio I can go to if needed, but my license is up in April, and I don’t think I’m going to renew this time around. It was a good career - 30+ years tattoing, and 36 in the industry overall - but it’s hard on the body, and to some degree, hard on the soul because of all the intense things you help people process.

But let me tell ya, if I was still in the middle of my career, I’d be shooting you my work email right now and planning something fabulous with you.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

I refuse to do ANYTHING that might contribute to your suffering, precious Sister Artemis. Pain is a curse I am all too damned familiar with. I wish I could email you a couple of my narcotic pain meds so that you could enjoy at least a few hours of relief.

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Cheers Y'all's avatar

YUMM-Y!

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I had a house with a dark kitchen. I painted it yellow, highlighter yellow almost, with a creamy white ceiling. My Dad walked in post brilliant paint job and said “It looks like a lemon meringue pie!”

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Rooster Cogburn's avatar

'ARE THESE LEMON WEDGES ORAGANIC. LOCALLY SOURCED AND PESTICIDE-FREE? IS THE APPLE JUICE IN MY APPELTININ ALAR-FREE? HELLO! I'M TALKING TO YOU"

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Meccalopolis's avatar

You must use organic when zesting, otherwise you'll get wax in your drink.

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Matthew Hooper's avatar

Washing the lemons with warm water and drying them with a rough towel will get the wax off.

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Babe Paley's avatar

Thank you, Hooper--this was the kind of swanky drink I like!

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tehbaddr's avatar

"Use your favorite brand. Tito’s is fine."

Popov it is then!

Or maybe Alexi?

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schmannity's avatar

Fleischmann's. Iowa's finest

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Matthew Hooper's avatar

Nothing sounds tastier than a vodka made by a yeast company.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Also good for cleaning the paint brushes!

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tehbaddr's avatar

I have not been privy to this luxurious libation!

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schmannity's avatar

Gin, vodka, whiskey, rum, they make it all. Cheaply.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

i'm pretty sure I got PTSD from a plastic jug of Popov.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Lucky it didn't blind you...

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tehbaddr's avatar

Oh my! You actually purchased a jug? I didn't know they sold them, I always see it behind the counter for $2 a pint! Never actually looked for it on the shelves.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

For clarification: This was probably in 1985 or so. But yeah...big plastic jug.

Good Christ, the headache...We used Grand Union house brand OJ, to boot.

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tehbaddr's avatar

I'm guessing undergrad days.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

Exactly.

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Jamoche's avatar

Cold River, if someone has been to the east coast recently. Blue Ice or Monopolowa otherwise.

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tehbaddr's avatar

I'm an East Coaster and never heard of it. Maybe too high end for where I shop?

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Jamoche's avatar

I think they're very small. They're based in Maine, and the friend who hosted the dinners with cocktails (that died out after lockdown, sigh) discovered them because the potato farms use a potato X-ray machine he worked on.

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Free beach's avatar

5 o’clock vodka.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Now I want to market a particularly smooth vodka called Fuckov.

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tehbaddr's avatar

That is great!

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Snarfyguy's avatar

Popov the top of that bottle and let's party!

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UncleTravelingMatt's avatar

Look at Diamond Jim over here. Too good for Kamchatka, apparently.

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Marty Smit's avatar

You get at least a $10 tip for each one made? Considering the time to make.

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Matthew Hooper's avatar

Nah, it's two hours of sit time. You do other chores then. The citric acid cost is minimal. In the end it's more economical to use super juice.

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Crystalclear12's avatar

Bet the super juice method would produce an excellent orange creamsicle version.

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Smoke O'Possum's avatar

Oh, I want this!!

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

I just noticed the other day that Pinguicula have absolutely zero chill compared to other carnivorous plants I've grown in the past. Drosera, for example, often will have no sticky dew on their leaves for a couple of weeks after shipping, transplanting, or otherwise stressing them. They will also generally not make their inflorescences sticky.

Enter Pinguicula. They will resume catching gnats a day or two after stress if they ever take a break, and yeah, their inflorescences are sticky all the way up to the calyces.

As I said. Zero chill.

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

This one had me grinning. The mix of science, thrift, and booze is a perfect trifecta. Super juice feels like witchcraft for bartenders, and “flambé the foam” should be printed on T-shirts. Love how it’s part chemistry lesson, part happy hour.

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Birb-General of the US's avatar

Happy Caturday.

That is all.

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Downstairs feeding three of the cats and the fire.

Thinking about replacing my wood stove. This thing has put in 15 or so tough years of being the primary heater for most of them, and it’s starting to show its age. I am considering replacing it with the newer version of itself while the 30%tax credit is still available. I just saw one of these stoves for sale used on marketplace for 1500 bucks, and a friend was interested, but it went really quickly. So between getting the tax credit and selling the old one, I could get a new stove for a a couple of thousand dollars.

And since I have a boiler now, it’s not gonna get as hard a use as this one, so it should last the rest of the time I live here. And it’s got catalytic feature, which will probably reduce my wood usage. . It is possible to take these things apart and completely rebuild them, but that is a massive task, and I would have to do it in the house because it’s too big and heavy to move out to the garage to do it, and then move it back in.

Just kicking ideas around here…

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Resource NW's avatar

Whoa, I had no idea how much wood stoves actually cost. Mostly I rented, and wood stoves were there or not, except for the time a friend got a "brown ugly" for the cabin. It was dual fuel, coal or wood, so did as bad a job as you could imagine. If you can afford it, get set up as well as you can, and if you can help a neighbor in the process, it is all good. Pretty sure the cats will have an opinion, tho.

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

There are definitely less expensive wood stoves than this one, but I really like the soapstone. It’s a more mellowed heat than the cast stoves, and if you accidentally touch the stone (or jump on it if you’re a cat) when it’s hot, you’ll feel the heat, but you won’t get burned. You have time to jump off or jerk away. They take longer to heat up, but then they radiate the heat for hours after the fire is gone out. OK fine. I will also admit that I think they’re prettier.

If the power went out here in the middle of winter, which it has been known to do, I am only mildly inconvenienced. I could make it for months here without electricity, without my house freezing up. I’ve known of people who had freeze ups, even when there wasn’t a power failure, just from the cold, and my house rocked along.

The stove is the heart of the home. Everybody gathers around it, everyone of every species. The first winter it was installed, my son was criticizing my decision. He was about 16, and therefore, he knew pretty much everything. He was quoting my ex who, for some reason thought their opinion mattered, almost word for word. Wood stoves were expensive and messy and just dumb. I told him his opinion might carry a little more weight if he wasn’t sitting in an armchair pulled up in front of the fire in his boxer shorts holding his hands out to the fire in January. He had the grace to actually consider my words and that was the last time he ever mouthed off about that to me.

I had a cat who had recently come from a shelter, and got used to a peaceful home here. Then along came Christmas and the kids and the dogs came home, and she was outraged. She hid under a shelf in the pantry for a while and then that got cold. Just so she moved to hiding in the utility closet under the stairs. And everybody ignored her, which was not acceptable so she started yelling at us. Continued to ignore, so she came to the door of the storage room through which she had accessed the closet, and she sat in the doorway, complaining loudly, and she was still ignored. And she finally marched out and walked over to the woodstove, turned around and slid her butt under the stove until she was laying there with just her head sticking out. She was still annoyed, but at least though she was comfortably annoyed. (She did eventually become fond of the dogs and the kids.)

On the flipside, I don’t know anybody who has one of those big outdoor box air conditioners. I had a friend who admitted kind of shamefully that she bought a window air conditioner for their trailer last summer because it was so hot. I imagine those units are a pretty penny, so what we save on air conditioners we can spend on wood stoves.

Also thinking that if I wait to replace it, I’ll miss out on the tax credit and I’ll have a less sellable unit in the old one. It’s not exactly the best time to spend money, but I don’t think it’s gonna get better.

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Resource NW's avatar

Sometime the universe speaks.

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Yep. It’s also been prompting me to get the infloor heating hooked up in the garage. I think the universe is in a hypomanic elation state.

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FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Hey, Daniel, do you want to see how bad it is in the US?

There are what's called ICD10 codes for encounters with patients.

I'll give you a couple

"Burn due to water-skis on fire, initial encounter"

https://www.icd10data.com/ICD10CM/Codes/V00-Y99/V90-V94/V91-/V91.07XA

"Pecked by turkey, subsequent encounter"

https://www.icd10data.com/ICD10CM/Codes/V00-Y99/W50-W64/W61-/W61.43XD

The insurance companies hire thousands of actuaries to work out how much they'll pay for these. All of the ICD10 codes.

In the NHS it'd be "waterskis on fire? How'd you manage that, fuckwit? OK burn trauma and blah"

This is why non-socialized medicine is fucked up.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

I remember having to engage what were at the time warped, obtuse ICD9 codes, way back when during my very SHORT period working as an RN in private practice. Let's just say I made a concerted effort to tweak them in the patient's favor at every opportunity.

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

What's the code for

"Doctor fucked up, stabbed patient in eye"?

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

And the best part, of course, is they all got PAID. And I couldn’t sue because of the “Shit happens” clause. Out of 13 attorneys, only one would take the case if I paid him cash up front, no contingency. If I had the cash, I wouldn’t need you, ya fuckwit!

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Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

Fun Fact: The code for "Surgeon left sponges in patient" is CARSON.

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

There are people in the basements of all these insurance companies ... sitting at desk with red staplers and a PC who go, "Huh. That's a new one. New ICD10 code for you!"

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FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

I've met some real fucking tossers in the industry, but the person I actively hated - and I don't use that word lightly - used to be an actuary for one of the large insurance companies.

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Oy!'s avatar

"Court rules Trump administration violated First Amendment with out-of-office messages"

Yeah great but BFD* the damage is done. Like with so much of what the Orange Asshole and its Turd Pals do, they know that there will be no penalties.

*Big Fucking Deal

•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•

"A federal judge ruled on Friday that the Trump administration violated the First Amendment by sending automated emails and messages blaming the government shutdown on Democrats.

In the ruling, U.S. District Judge Christopher Cooper said the Department of Education (DOE) cannot compel federal workers to engage in partisan speech.

The American Federation of Government Employees (AFGE), represented by the Democracy Forward and Public Citizen Litigation Group, previously sent a cease and desist letter and also filed a lawsuit against the Education Department over the political statement issued in staff email responses."–https://thehill.com/regulation/court-battles/5596030-trump-administration-first-amendment-ruling/

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paperlesstiger's avatar

He'll just appeal it to the Trump Can Do Anything He Wants Court, formerly SCOTUS.

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

Somehow it got light outside since I've been sitting here, or rather "light-ish," as there's a very strange sort of ground-level semi-fog all over. It's like the usual San Francisco fog just needed to lie down and take a nap on the ground.

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freakishlystrong's avatar

HE'S ON IT. Fuckdiaper posted some insults and demands to end the shutdown on his stupid social media site, on his way to the links, (his links), from his taxpayer funded motorcade, after taking his tax payer funded flight to another vacation weekend in sunny Florida.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

I hate him.

May a lightening bolt strike reduce the Fetid Fascist to a filthy, stinking, decidedly deceased orange heap.

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Then declare the golf course and club a super fund site that can't be used or sold for 100 years.

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Resource NW's avatar

Poor Ivana. Here grave will be lost to a forest of twisted, diseased, New Jersey trees.

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paperlesstiger's avatar

Enrich the rich and impoverish the poor seems to be the MAGA cargo cult ritual to attract prosperity.

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Rocket Cat's avatar

Am I understanding correctly that Congress is getting paid during the shutdown shitshow? Is there any way we could write legislation to claw back their shutdown pay commensurate to the shutdown, foreclosing the possibility of this ever happening again. Punishing Americans while they yap their shitholes on FOX is American Unfairness! No Congressional Elites, to repo their besmirch slogan.

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freakishlystrong's avatar

Also, forbid presidential leisure travel. It's so fucking insulting.

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Rosy red ASS's avatar

This is what makes me the angriest when they pull this bullshit. THEY are getting PAID.

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Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

Today, Mike Johnson will keep the House adjourned for the 96th day out of the last 107.

12 days of work in 107 days.

𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀.

The Senate has been working, so this is not about the Trump Shutdown.

It is about avoiding a vote to release the Epstein Files.

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Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

I still don't understand why it requires the Speaker to swear in a house member. I can't find where the Constitution says it. Jeffries should do it himself or get a judge to do it on the steps of the Capital with the press there.

After republcons claim it has to be the speaker then if the Democrats ever get control of the House the speaker should have two swearings in. Do the Democrats first and the republicons some time later....

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Birb-General of the US's avatar

There must be a "shall" in there somewhere.

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Rosy red ASS's avatar

It's a fucking COUP!

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Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

Absolutely. And virtually unopposed.

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Cookie Lady's avatar

Since I kindly allowed my husband to remain in bed while I dealt with the dogs I am being rewarded with being told to go back to bed and being served breakfast.

Eggies and toast for me!

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pskbh's avatar

That's what a loving partner is, you and he! Very nice morning, all!

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Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Well, my friend who has cancer turns out to have stage four, but is going to fight every bit. The sad part is that his girlfriend already has health problems and her son needs a fucking heart transplant. Oh wait, the son fucking died suddenly this week. Sending all the good vibes, love, and emergency kittens to her. There is nothing more heartbreaking than a single mother losing her son.

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

The only small glimmer of light in this whole situation is that at least they’re not going through that alone. Thank you for being their friend.

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EyeQueue's avatar

I am so sorry they are going through all of these horrible things. :(

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

First world, scavenger problem here, but it is 5:52 AM in the Saturday morning, and I am laying on the couch so that two of the cats can get some snuggle time, so I may as well share.

I’ve been limping along with two old Dysons. The motors on them still work fine but each has various problems I haven’t been able to solve. Taking on a sixth cat made me resolve to my game in this area, but I am in some ways terribly frugal. So I settled on an eBay that is supposed to be a new Dyson stick vac with a ton of attachments. If it is what it claims to be, it’s a really good buy, even if I have to replace the batteries, shipping was free, but they were supposedly located in Mauritius, but they shipped from Texas, but I’m supposed to have to pay customs on it which they didn’t say upfront. And then the delivery was delayed by the plane crash. It’s actually really impressive to me how quickly the system adapted and compensated for the delay.

So in a couple of days, I should know if I lost money on this or if it’s a lemon or if I got a really good vacuum at a good price. And if this is my biggest problem right now, I don’t have problems.

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

I got hosed one time with an eBay purchase, but eBay refunded my money and banned the seller for life. Too bad, I really wanted that induction hot plate!

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

I’m really confused about why I would need to pay customs on an order that shipped from Texas, but I’m waiting to see how this works out. When is a deal not a deal…?

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

I smell scam, sorry. Be prepared to elevate. Really, eBay wants happy customers and will make it right.

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Yep, me too. It’s scheduled to be delivered on Monday or Tuesday, so I will know more shortly.

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

I hope you are pleasantly surprised.

I bought an aftermarket battery for my EGO tools. Factory batteries are as expensive as the tools used to be. I didn’t pay attention to where it was coming from. I got an email from the seller, from China. I thought well, here we go. Surprise, it was warehoused in the Midwest and arrived in less than a week. I’ll buy from them again.

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Thank you, I hope so too. I will know soon enough, but right now it’s a comfort just to speak out about my concerns.

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Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

I have good luck with the giant auction site!

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

As have I. But this one seemed a bit like pushing my luck, with all the uncertainties.

Apparently, they had several, because as soon as I purchased this one for $300 with returns accepted and free shipping, they listed it again for about 450, and said they had four left, and then they said they had seven left. So they’re a bit all over the map and currently they have none left. They also only have a handful of ratings. So this is a stretch, but that’s what I get for being cheap.

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Rocket Cat's avatar

Paxton using one mil in campaign funds to install Turning point at every high school and college in TX. Just so you can relax now, all the kids will be finding the Lort.

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EyeQueue's avatar

This is NOT OK!

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Jjamie's avatar

Separation of church and state? Right 😉 All is A-OK under this Supreme Court regime.

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Rocket Cat's avatar

If I can get off this crack social media, I can pack to gtfo TX. I have had all the TX I can take!

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Jjamie's avatar

Go like a rocket, cat! Larimer County. Colorado is a good place to be!

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

I've been through TX from side to side three times, each time taking the better part of three days. That's a lot of days I'll never get back. I can't imagine living there. Good luck!

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Rocket Cat's avatar

Where I live has storied Houston culture, anything outside the Loop gives me hives.

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

Church of Satan, save us!

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Rocket Cat's avatar

Stryper downloads will increase

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