3054 Comments
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Matthew Hooper's avatar

Busy questions here.

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

Prolly shoulda fangirled here so you can see the appreciation. Point: Chopin, yay!

My Erdos Number Is Five's avatar

Do you put goat cheese in your Manhattan?

TheGreatAndPowerfulMormos!'s avatar

If it doesnt have gin and vermouth, is it still a martini?

AJ Milne's avatar

I have this notion that adding extra blue cheese and the right gin would really work. Flavour bomb kinda thing. Not so much a cocktail as a mutually agreed upon mugging. Rationale really just: I like blue cheese, I like gin, let’s work with that. But have yet to explore it much.

Lance Thrustwell's avatar

Cheap gin and Velveeta whipped up into a froth; Sprinkle with diced gummi bears and caraway seeds. Drink by the pint and go for a brisk run.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

I have seen Velveeta-infused Malort. I have watched someone drink it. I do not wish to see it again.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

There has been an entire book written about that question. I’ve read it, and I can state with some authority that the answer is: Spite.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

Vodka? Olive brine? Blue cheese?

Sounds less like a martini and more like a "D.C. Algae Reflecting Pond."

[Takes sip of bone-dry gin martini with a twist, like a standard issue filthy elitist would]

Pat_Pending's avatar

Yeah, although I enjoyed reading this and would maybe take a sip, I too am a gin-martini-lemon-twist snot.

josephebacon's avatar

The glass by itself looks so beautiful!

OneYieldRegular's avatar

Indeed. Like dawn over the desert.

Hippo Heaven's avatar

I think a filthier martini would be a toxic martini?

Mighty Little Dog's avatar

So you chill the glass and shake over ice?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Shake with ice. Double strain into chilled glass.

Zyxomma's avatar

If we're ever in Medina OH we'll come to Hemingway's Underground when you're working. I'd love this filthy martini apart from one thing: No dairy, we're vegan. Can we get it with plain Castelvetrano olives. Even before being vegan (and it's been more than 50 years), I thought feta was fetid.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

We can garnish with unstuffed olives.

Thixotropickle's avatar

65 to 20 drinks?

Has BevDoge come for The Hemingway?

Greek and not Spanish or Cuban (or Alligator/Free Range Poultry/Conch Key West-centered menu?

Mebbe I got my Hemmies mixed up...

goCatgo's avatar

How come the fluffy retriever can catch an icecube in the air but the bulldog can't ?

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Would pickled pigs feet brine work?

Because dirty

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Some might apply the label unclean. But I might suggest too much vinegar.

Noma Larkey's avatar

Is THIS is my drink? YES! (And Chopin vodka is top notch, IMO.)

clairence's avatar

please rephrase in the form of a question....

Craig Nixon's avatar

Flipping genius cocktail??

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Is that a genius cocktail or what?

Bob's avatar

Do you use a particular brand of olive brine? I know there are people packaging fancy olive brine but is it just the same as the stuff the olives come in?

Richard S's avatar

But what tempo do you shake it to?

Nick Charles: "The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now a Manhattan you shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time." - The Thin Man (1934)

Matthew Hooper's avatar

I hate to spoil the romance, but I visualize a stopwatch and shake 3 4 shakes per second for 12 seconds.

A Tad Impatient To 86 47's avatar

“That’s what she said.” Not really obligatory, but hey … Caturday’s almost here; that’s my excuse.

Hollysdower's avatar

I say you should shake it, shake it, shake it like a polaroid picture...

Rad's avatar

You know a martini is extra dirty when you exclaim, "Holy fuck! This shit is AWESOME!" after the first sip.

Cindy Wishon's avatar

#1- What olive oil are you using? I love an Italian EVOO that has a little bitter bite at the end… Badalucco (made from Taggiasca olives- imported but available on Amazon!)

#2- is considering Roquefort instead of Blue just crazy talk?

#3- I need to get out to Ohio !!!

Yopi's avatar

How are we still standing, I don't know.

The attack is restless on all fronts.

The corruption is blatant and of a scale never seen before. But wait for 2027.

Happy Caturday 😊

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

The United States has descended into governmental corruption that America used to deride across the globe. Yes, we are the baddies, and yes, we are one of those autocracies the US used to "bring" to the light of democracy.

A Tad Impatient To 86 47's avatar

Happy Caturday, in a ‘great’ nation whose chief executive’s sole qualification is “Bullshit Artist.”

BTW: For indecisive or procrastinating folk (moi, at least in the latter), here’s a way to feel confident in getting rid of old electronics and electrical devices. Wait 10 or 15 years, then go down in your basement and see if the old devices are even recognizable any more. Tada!

SkeptiKC's avatar

paul stashed two of our "old" color televion sets in here in my hidey-hole. "Old" has become an entirely rhetorical designation.

Martin Shobe's avatar

I still recognize my black and white Heathkit TV. Guess I have to keep it for another decade.

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

TSA just now with the dude in front of me.

Agent 1: Take everything out of you pockets.

Dude in cargo shorts pulls out ID, boarding pass, etc out of upper pockets.

Agent 1: Do you have anything else in you pockets?

Dude pulls wads of tissue out of both pockets.

Agent 1: Thank you, proceed forward.

Dude shoves tissues back in lower pockets.

Agent 1: Take everything out of your pockets.

Dude pulls out the tissue and puts it back in his pocket after Agent 1 turns away.

Agent 2: Do you have anything else in your pockets?

Dude pulls out wads of tissue.

Agent 2: Hold your items, lift your hands, and enter the machine.

DUDE FUCKING PUTS THE TISSUES BACK IN HIS POCKTS!

Agent 2: Take everything out of your pockets.

Dude reaches in upper pockets and turns them inside out to show the agent.

Agent 2: Take everything out of your pockets.

Dude: I don't understand.

Agent 2: Take everything out of your pockets and hold it. (pause) Enter the machine. (pause) Raise you hands over your head.

And guess what! He STILL HAD SHIT IN HIS POCKET.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

dickpunch. It is the only cure. Just bend down like you are going to tie your shoe, and do your best Captain Marvel punch to the dick. The boys might get caught in the crossfire... but he has that coming.

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

There was no real line but a LONG walk through the path to get to TSA. I asked an agent if the line ever gets that long and she said that it had been earlier. That guy is what causes it.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

And we wonder how asshole got elected.

aktlib101's avatar

I like the mention of Marie Antoinette...

--‘Marie Antoinette is CHOKING on her cake’: Nicolle RIPS new Trump plot to cover up billionaire crime

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFG_UucA7Ug

"While Trump's Justice Department targets small-scale fraud cases, his administration is finding ways to drop charges against crime-committing corporations. Nicolle Wallace is joined by Michael Feinberg and Liz Oyer for analysis on Deadline White House.

--A Green Light for Crooks

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/08/corrupt-administration-shell-company-business-transparency/688274/

"The Treasury has made the American economy a safe space for corruption.

Ever since Donald Trump returned to the White House, his administration has taken a sledgehammer to anti-corruption efforts, destroying policy after policy dedicated to preventing bribery and money laundering in the country. But this week brought the biggest blow yet: The Treasury has obliterated a recent rule to deter devious shell companies, handily reopening the American economy to anyone looking to hide their illicit wealth.

"On Tuesday, the Department of the Treasury’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN) announced that businesses formed in the United States would no longer need to disclose their actual owners, and that nearly all the data already gathered on such companies would be destroyed. This move, which Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent called “a victory for common sense and American small businesses,” effectively undoes years of progress in curbing devious financial networks, both domestic and foreign. It also delivers a new shelter for wealthy Americans who wish to dodge taxes and move money around undetected. Corporate entities that allow owners to stay anonymous are handy vehicles for corruption—they enable dodgy characters from around the world to stash their proceeds in an otherwise legal American business. After a brief experiment cracking down on these black boxes, the U.S. has decided to let them multiply instead.

SkeptiKC's avatar

This avaricious asshole is $kimming a bit off of ca$h off the top of every tran$action made by the United $tate$. That'$ why he'$ not a millionaire anymore.

Now the mendacious motherfucker is now a billionaire.

Dammit.

Hops: grrr mad's avatar

"a victory for common sense and American small businesses"

This smug asshole deserves a good kick to the nards.

They no longer care that the corruption is in plain sight.

"What're you gonna do about it, punk?"

SkeptiKC's avatar

[....laces up boots]

Hops: grrr mad's avatar

So is the entirety of his administration.

freakishlystrong's avatar

I've a proposal for legislation if we ever regain our country back; Since the AG has committed to advancing Trump's agenda at what was formerly the Justice Department,, (and said it out loud), and then attended one of his hate rallies where Piggy took credit for OHJ's crime statistics, insulted Kathy Hochul and Chuck Schumer, to uninformed police officers clapping like seals, we shouldn't have to pay his salary. Separate our tax dollars from trmps defense attorney if he attends partisan events like this.

Mysterysurf's avatar

The AG not attending political rallies shouldn't just be an "unwritten rule." It should be hard and fast illegal.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

𝗧𝗛𝗘 "𝗖𝗔𝗧 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗟 𝗖𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗬"

In ancient China, particularly during the Song Dynasty (960–1279 AD), adopting or acquiring a pet cat was treated with the same seriousness and ritual as a human wedding. This historical custom was known as 𝙋𝙞𝙣𝙢𝙖𝙤 (聘猫), which literally translates to "marrying a cat" or "betrothing a cat". Because cats were highly valued for protecting grain stores, books, and paintings from mice, welcoming one into the home required a formal legal contract, a selection of favorable dates, and specific betrothal gifts.

The Five Steps of the "Cat Betrothal"

The Cat Contract (Mao Qi): A formal contract was drafted featuring drawings of the feline and listing its physical description, name, temperament, habits, and household duties – such as keeping the house free of mice and not wandering. In return, per the contract, the new owner pledged to properly shelter, care for, and feed the cat. The contract – “witnessed by Heaven and Earth” – would be signed by the new owner and by the cat, by pressing its paw on a red ink pad, then stamping the contract.

Auspicious Timing: Families would then consult astrologers and shamans to select an auspicious day and time to bring the cat to its new home.

Betrothal Gifts: If the kitten came from a domestic home, the new owner presented the original owner – the “parent” – with a dowry or "bride price," such as salt (the word for salt, yan, sounds like fate/destiny), sugar, or tea leaves, and the “parent” reciprocated with a pair of chopsticks from the cat’s former home, symbolizing a “fresh start.” If the kitten was a stray, a string of small fish was offered.

The Covered Procession: To mimic human brides traveling in a bridal sedan chair, the kitten was placed in a basket and covered with a red cloth to be carried to its new home. On the chosen day, it was accompanied by a small procession of its former owner’s family and friends and met at the entrance of its new home by its new family.

Introduction to the Gods: Once inside its new home, the cat was formally presented to the household gods and the ancestral shrines. This ritual officially registered the animal as a permanent, respected member of the family.

GrandParadeOfLifelessPackaging's avatar

What if the cat doesn't fulfill it's part of the contract and let's the grain storage run amok? Is there a way to divorce it?

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

My guess would be that by then it would be a beloved family pet and impossible to get rid of.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

"On the chosen day, it was accompanied by a small procession of its former owner’s family and friends and met at the entrance of its new home by its new family."

Mrs. Thors: "honey, we have to run over to Sharon's, her cat is getting married to the old man across the street"

Thors: "Dafuq?"

Gammarae's avatar

marrying cats! marrying dogs! JFC!!!

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

We are watching a Chinese historical drama at the moment in which this ceremony takes place, the family adopting a "three-flower cat" (i.e., a "three-colored cat" or a calico) and the local magistrate drawing up the contract.

🕊️ ꕷꖹꕷꗍ ♌'s avatar

What's the drama called and where can I watch it?

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

It just occurred to me that you may be able to watch it for free on YouTube, as a LOT of Asian shows are uploaded here.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

The title is "Yan Yu Yong An" (2025 - yes, there are English subtitles) and we're watching it on Rakuten Viki, the Asian channel. It's a fine rom-com, focusing on the Shen family and their restaurant in China during the Song Dynasty. We started watching it because of its fascinating look at ancient Chinese food and cooking.

SayItWithWookies's avatar

Gertrude wishes you a happy Caturday as she watches the activity outside.

https://substack.com/@sayitwithwookies/note/c-315313293?r=2kw0pf

freakishlystrong's avatar

Good morning Wonks! Fantastic walk this a.m. I was greeted by a huge bird!

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

I love huge birds! I saw a family of sandhill cranes on my drive to the airport.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

did he have a shy woolly mammoth with him?

freakishlystrong's avatar

I think it was in falcon, they have a nest around there.

Rosy red ASS's avatar

We have turkeys that hang out on a street a couple over from ours. We see them up on the roofs of houses. They also walk the street and everyone knows where they need to slow down.

Shallow state's avatar

Read the comment for Pete's sake. They said right there the walk was *fantastic*.

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

Turkeys up close are pretty fantastic. Can totally see their dinosaur ancestry.

Especially gobblers when they spread their tails.

We got a flock that hangs out in our back lot cause it abuts a farm field and that is good eatin' They are very fun to watch!

ciaobella's avatar

I saw a turkey vulture the other day, staring at me from the side of the road. Not dead yet, turkey vulture.

memzilla's avatar

Happy birthday, Napoleon Bonapart! Thanks for the pastry recipe!

https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/napoleons-recipe

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

no wonder he had indigestion so bad

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

Mrs. Toomush says we're getting matching Hori Hori knives for our anniversary. Is that a good idea?...

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

Is that the 13th wedding anniversary traditional gift?

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

I was making a very bad friday the 13th joke

but only because I could not think of a way to do a psycho reference

reee ree reee

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

We are starting to look a little dessicated...

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

My brother in law calls my sister in law "mother" and every time he does, I giggle in my head and go GOD MOTHER NO!

But I try to keep my face straight because it would be rude otherwise.

Also told my hubby if he ever called me mother I might have to murder him. Since turn about is fair, he hath also forbidden me from calling him daddy which is a shame, because of the age difference, I could be making MANY jokes.

Thalia Is Not Amused's avatar

That's too bad! Maybe just call him Papí. 😄

Tecolote's avatar

Great garden tools. Two of 'em is a good idea, that way you can blame the other when you lose yours.

ciaobella's avatar

Ah yes the traditional hori hori knife duel to observe a wedding anniversary, isn't that like the 15 year traditional gift?

Rosy red ASS's avatar

I have no idea what they are.......oh wait, just looked them up and now I want!

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

I did not either and looked it up and I HAVE one. With the ruler on it and everything

Two things learned today!

Holly - Lima Charlie's avatar

Happy Caturday Wonks. This isn't a picture of a cat or any of our cats. Instead, this is a picture of two crazy cat people (the one in the hat is a liar and will tell you he hates cats - he's a liar but a good lookin' liar if I do say so.)

There's a story behind this picture because of course there's a story.

We were taken to a Red Sox game by our very dear friend Staz way back in the summer of 2017.  He snapped this picture at Fenway. I'd completely forgotten he'd taken this picture until last night. Staz is our Friday night dinner guest and as we ate dinner, we watched the Red Sox play the Orioles. During a lull in the game a camera guy found a couple in the stadium and zoomed in on them all snuggled up together. And that's when I remembered Staz had taken a picture of the two of us at Fenway and I asked him if he could find that picture. Well, he found it and sent it to us this morning. I'm delighted by this picture more than I can say. 

https://substack.com/profile/439485293-holly-lima-charlie/note/c-315306811

SkeptiKC's avatar

Two perfectly precious people enjoying a loving snuggle between innings.

I love ye both to bits.

Holly - Lima Charlie's avatar

All the love incoming from the both of us to the both of you forever and ever.

((HUGS)) also to and a kiss on the cheek.

Holly - Lima Charlie's avatar

Staz isn't just a great friend he knows how to take a great picture and I will be forever grateful for this one in particular.

Holly - Lima Charlie's avatar

I have to say this is the bestest picture ever!

How's everything up there?

Sending all our love and (HUGS) and skritches to Cinder.

Suzie Greenburg's avatar

It's peak flower time and we are enjoying it!

Love right back at ya!

Holly - Lima Charlie's avatar

We're having a wonderful summer bloom here and Paul's garden is doing REALLY well.