Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Conqueror*!

Lord knows, a strong tequila drink is necessary after this week.

The burnt orange peel garnish really takes this drink over the top.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. It’s utter madness at Hemingway’s right now; the crowds are out of control. But I’m going to take a deep breath and share my latest obsession with you before diving back in — an elegant, stirred tequila cocktail, rich and sweet and decadent. Let’s make a Conqueror. Here’s the recipe.

CONQUEROR

2 oz resposado tequila

1/2 oz Osborne Pedro Ximenez fino sherry

¼ oz Licor 43

2 shakes toasted almond bitters

Orange twist

Stir all ingredients with ice in a cocktail vessel until the outside of the vessel is cold. Strain into an old-fashioned glass with a large ice cube. Express an orange peel over the cocktail, then run it over the rim of the glass. Garnish with a flamed orange peel.

I love tequila. An unaged blanco tequila is a huge blast of agave flavor, a shot across the bow that demands fruit and salt. Blanco tequila is the perfect spirit for margaritas of all sorts; I’ve seen dozens of margarita variations over the years. We’re currently serving a prickly pear margarita at Hemingway’s. I’ve written blood orange and chocolate margaritas for this column before. Margaritas are wonderfully versatile and tasty.

As much as I love a solid margarita, eventually, they get a bit tired. I decided to make a more subtle, civilized tequila drink — something that was pointedly not a margarita. Aged tequila, like reposado or anejo, loses some of the harshness of blanco tequila. The grassy, brash notes give way to oak and vanilla as barrel aging works its magic on the spirit. Those subtleties are lost in a margarita, but in a stirred cocktail, their charms shine.

I decided to pair the tequila with traditional Spanish ingredients to see if any synergies came to light. We currently have a very nice fino sherry at Hemingway’s for other drinks. I was extremely pleased with how well the sherry and tequila complemented each other. It was the Licor 43 that really took things over the top. This vanilla and herb liquor has been the darling of “little beer” shots and carajillos for a while, but it’s an amazing vanilla liquor for all sorts of applications. When I tasted the sherry and Licor 43 by themselves, I nearly shuddered in delight. The depth of flavor was so very, very good. Far too sweet on their own, but an ingredient in search of a base spirit to elevate. I couldn’t think of a better pairing than mellow, aged tequila for this dynamic duo.

Cocoa bitters provided an earthy grounding for the cocktail, but didn’t quite seem to mesh with the other flavors. I found some toasted almond bitters on a shopping trip to Jungle Jim’s, an utterly insane grocery store in the Cincinnati area. (Seriously. This place is … if you live anywhere in the Midwest, just go. You’ll be floored.) Almonds, sherry, vanilla, and tequila seemed like a fantastic pairing. The final result was eminently crushable after a long shift — still a little sweet, but intensely decadent and worth all the effort.

*The only thing I dislike about this cocktail is the name, which we originally had as The Conquistador and is even more problematic than The Conqueror. This isn’t a violent mashup of Spanish and Mesoamerican flavors; it’s relaxed, gentle, and harmonious. It isn’t a bloody-handed warrior in the vein of Cortez. It isn’t a tango or a flamenco. It’s gentler than that. I’m still searching for the perfect name. Suggestions are welcome from the Wonketariat.

Let’s talk ingredients:

Ingredient shot. I’m playing with photo filters, I’ll find the right one eventually.

Milagro Reposado Tequila: Milagro is our rail tequila at Hemingway’s. It’s bright, approachable, and perfectly suited to our drinks. I would be willing to try Patron reposado for this cocktail. Splurging on rich anejo from Suavecito would be decadent but amazing. Use what’s in your budget, but it’s the holidays. Treat yourself. You deserve it.

Osborne Pedro Ximenez fino sherry: A really good sherry is a must here. Taylor’s Dry Sherry from the grocery store just won’t cut it. It’s a little pricey, but sherry will keep forever in the fridge, and once you get a taste for this nutty, rich fortified wine, you won’t turn back.

Licor 43: It’s hard to justify buying vanilla vodka — or cooking vanilla, for that matter — when you have this spirit in your liquor cabinet. It’s extremely sweet, but the herbal notes brace the vanilla flavors in this spirit like nothing else. Truly a must-have in the modern liquor cabinet.

Toasted Almond Bitters: Cocoa bitters are much easier to find, but if you stumble across these in your local liquor store, snap them up. Almond and vanilla are a perfect flavor pairing. Once you have these bitters and some Licor 43 in your liquor cabinet, the world is your oyster.

My home bar is Hemingway’s Underground, the hottest cocktail bar in pretty little Medina, Ohio. I’m behind the stick Wednesday-Saturday, 4-10. Last call’s at midnight. Swing on by and I’ll make a drink for you … or anything else from our little Happy Hour here at Wonkette.

OPEN THREAD!