3187 Comments
User's avatar
Matthew Hooper's avatar

Busy questions go.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Has McConnell reached rigor tortoise?

josephebacon's avatar

I guess we have to..."terrapin" his associates down to get the truth!

Mavenmaven's avatar

well, you know how it is, Some rise Some fall Some climb To get to terrapin

YaJagoff's avatar

I think he's colder than a kipper on a cracker.

Shocktreatment's avatar

Canned tuna in the fridge...

Dirty Work's avatar

Fuck, I was hot for Mrs. Howell.

Free beach's avatar

Well she was a sweet lady.

ciaobella's avatar

Garnish should be carrot greens, natch, but otherwise an excellent cocktail, thanks Hooper!

Lucius's avatar

Has Hemingway's ever tried running a curry based cocktail?

Appalachian in Thailand's avatar

I'm sure if I looked hard enough, I'd find one here.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Can I get a Tin Roof? It’s on the house

Meccalopolis's avatar

Based on what I'm readin about Cachaca, I'd wager that is why the drink turned out so well, given the distillation process and the grassy flavors complimenting the carrots.

Free beach's avatar

Off topic. Is Bloody Mary a summer drink? I say yes. There’s no money in the argument.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

It’s a breakfast drink. It is well known that anyone who orders a Bloody Mary after noon is an individual of low character.

Dirty Work's avatar

Mary snob. Smoked salmon is still on the brunch table and it's almost 1:30 pm.

"can we get some more horseradish on the Mary bar, please?"

AIB's avatar

It’s a hangover drink, because electrolytes. So yes, morning, unless like Yogi Bear you sleep ‘til noon.

Free beach's avatar

I’ll accept that.

irish379's avatar

it's always 8 a.m. somewhere

Johnny Appleseed's avatar

I'm almost (fer shore) positive that every drink is a breakfast drink. If not, you're just not trying.

DJ Teetop's avatar

I'd say 2 pm, but yeah

ames's avatar

It's an anytime drink, unless it's one of those super fancy overloaded ones. Love me a bloody, although here in Minnesota I think we technically drink Caesers? The bars around us use Clamato, aka tomato juice + canned clams.

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

I was served a putative Bloody Mary, and realized it had Clamato (not a deal breaker). Apparently the name Ceasar was not known at that bar.

Spleen Victoria's avatar

Well Minnesota is practically Canada so that tracks.

Stulexington's avatar

Not like it's a tan suit, you can drink it before or after Labourday.

FrancescoTheMagnificent's avatar

Some say summer, some say winter, some say "why not both?" None of them are wrong.

coco lurks from home's avatar

If I could drink, I would absolutely drink this. It sounds outstanding.

Thixotropickle's avatar

Can you substitute parsnip juice and if so may I propose to name it the Pastinacke Pika?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Only if you promise to juice the parsnip personally.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

Roadrunner would want it, "neat neat"

Eos_explorer's avatar

What is a cachaca? What flavor does it impart?

Mildred Downey Broxon's avatar

From an old Brazil hand here, cachaça (the c cedilla is pronounced "s"). It's the cheap, local drink. Can't tell you any more, as I was a kid down there and didn't drink yet.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

It’s a Brazilian run that tastes like overripe bananas and feet.

pskbh's avatar

It's killer yummy 😋. I mean delicious deadly. Peruvian I believe.

Hoop can explain the flavors.

Georgiaburning's avatar

Around here the Portuguese shops have it.

Zyxomma's avatar

No, it's Brazilian. Dates to the 16th century. It's made from sugar cane (not unlike rum) and the flavor depends on the distillery. It's used extensively to make caipirinha which is the national cocktail of Brazil.

Shocktreatment's avatar

Sometimes di𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭ery, as in a community pot still...

Tiquira is another spirit less known than cachaca, but a contender. Rural Brazil just teems with homemade idiosyncratic small batch liquor

"M"'s avatar

Brazilian, I think

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

It's a Brazilian rum-like booze.

"M"'s avatar

So ... no genepy, then?

Even though some of us just learned about it thanks to you?

😊

The Estivating Hibernian's avatar

Who's your most and least favorite customer?

Shocktreatment's avatar

Sometimes it's the same person, the one that isn't an overt asshole, but operates at the border, then leave a 250% tip...

Usually found at country club and other membership establishments

Bob's avatar

Ha, ha. The guy that is going to ruin your night when he walks in the door and make your night when he cashes out.

eddi-SABH's avatar

It looks like an 18th Century book title.

Scientists examining samples returned from asteroid Bennu found ribose and glucose inside — and with phosphate and every RNA nucleobase already detected in the same asteroid material, every chemical component needed to build RNA was present in the early solar system, long before life existed on Earth.

https://spacedaily.com/t-scientists-examining-samples-returned-from-asteroid-bennu-found-ribose-and-glucose-inside/

Rhand Holm's avatar

But, well, was it worth all that evolution? I mean half of us think dinosaurs and people roamed together. Can we really be the culmination of eons of nature's efforts?

eddi-SABH's avatar

Sometimes I have hope. Other times, I wonder if this is our best effort.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

If I had to make a guess, it's at least in part the xylose in carrots that contributes to the sweet but slightly weird flavor of carrots, especially raw ones.

Baconzgood's avatar

Bad bluff, over bid then fold.

Baconz, Nicky, Roxanne, Bill and Bob would clean out Trump after of a night of 5 card draw (fuck that Texas hold-em shit)

chascates's avatar

Fake reporter publishes fake book!

@realDonaldTrump:

"Maggot Hagerman has covered me incorrectly for ten years. Her book is a joke! 90% of it is Fake News. She has made a living off her bad reporting, and will pay the price when our Multi Billion Dollar Lawsuit against The Failing New York Times gets to Court, which should not be that long. I don’t mind bad press, if they are right. I do mind Fake Reporting, like what’s in her boring book, and like she’s done for eleven years, with only one aim in mind, to have Trump lose Elections but, as I sit in the Oval Office and ponder, that hasn’t worked out too well. Maggot is a loser! If she ever wrote the true story about me, it would actually be quite boring, but loaded with lots of SUCCESS. Also, I just finished a perfect physical at Walter Reed, I do it every six months, and I requested another Cognitive Test, the only President to do so, three times, and I aced them all — Got every question right. Few people in Washington, D.C., could do so, including Maggot and her flunky associate, Jonathan Swan. I would be willing to bet they couldn’t get 50% of the questions right. Anyway, don’t buy their book, it’s garbage! President DONALD J. TRUMP"

https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116902264897167883

noname's avatar

But this is not real, right? Although "I don't mind bad press, if they are right'" seems enough of a bald-faced, self-delusional lie to be true.

tek's avatar

someone's meds need adjusting..

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

I believe he's using the Epstein files as blackmail because no way in the world would any other person be able to behave so atrociously and get away with it.

Thesaurus Wrecks 2547's avatar

Trump has issued subpoenas for NY Times reporters but on the other hand Democrats refuse to embrace crypto and ai. I have never felt so politically homeless.

Sister Artemis's avatar

New Post UP!

unfortunately, it's not about cats 😾

Mysterysurf's avatar

Aw, jeez. Not more Platner.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

What in the actual fuck happened last night? I was out with a friend from wonkette and his wife and had a great time.

Then the next thing I remember is getting arrested. However, the cops felt sorry for me and let me get an uber.

There's a bit missing here somewhere.

Welp, that's one for the books.

tek's avatar

"No! Wait! Go get on Wonkette! They'll vouch for me!"

Antifa Commander's avatar

1) We support you wholeheartedly.

2) Until the video comes out. Then we will declare that we always thought you were pretty sketchy.

Parakeetist's avatar

Did it involve changing your trousers in the parking lot of a petrol station?

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Keety, I wish I knew. I remember talking to my friends, them leaving, and the next thing I remember is being in handcuffs and talking to this guy and woman cops who looked about fifteen and apologizing a lot.

ciaobella's avatar

Jesus Christ. I got pulled over once late at night on suspicion of DUI, in Santa Barbara. Yeah, I’d had a few (just a few, really). I don’t do that any more. I passed the roadside sobriety check. They said, do the breathalyzer, if you’re close we’ll just take you to the 24 hour coffee shop about 2 miles away, have a coffee, walk back to your car. I did the breathalyzer. I think I was right at the limit. They said, get in the car, so I sat in the back seat of the cop car for a ride to the coffee shop. That was a really close scrape.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

I'll bet the body cam footage is HI-LARIOUS!

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

To be fair, the cops were really nice.

Parakeetist's avatar

Henlo. Birb is watching cricket.

Excuse me, friends from around the world, but the big hat worn by the umpire looks - how can I say this - silly. Silly at a profound level that's almost... art.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

I once watched cricket on TV in London. I figured that the TV announcers make it easy to follow baseball so I should be able to follow cricket. The game consisted of one guy throwing the ball, the batter hitting the ball and every player on the field running in random directions followed by the announcer saying, "Well that was a jolly good one there."

The only part I really understood was when it started to rain, and the match was halted so the TV showed a video tour of the Louisville Slugger factory equivalent for cricket bats.

goCatgo's avatar

Once I had 3 goals in life.

1. Buy a little red sports car.

2. Understand Cold Fusion.

3. Understand cricket.

I did get the car, a 1959 MGA.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

2. Cold Fusion is a Trumpian level scam except Fleischmann and Pons, didn't get rich scamming rubes.

3, Figure that one out and you will get a Noble prize for physics.

Parakeetist's avatar

Here are some *bearzz* getting baths in the river and having fish sammiches the old fashioned way!

In a river up in Katmai National Park in Alaska.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTH5yY7Mks

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

Hey, Boo-boo, got any bagels in that pick-a-nick basket to go with this lox?

Parakeetist's avatar

Chomp! Chizzomp!

Live-action Pac Man.

goCatgo's avatar

Een Russia, bears have You for sammich.

Parakeetist's avatar

Fat Bear Week is in late September or October.

That's so much fun to watch!

Thesaurus Wrecks 2547's avatar

Trump issues subpoenas to NYT reporters over Air Force One Revelations. Some critics on the left raise eyebrows.

By the NYT

Random's avatar

*steps in*

T-minus 4 and a half hours before my first time at a baby shower.

goCatgo's avatar

When it's over, take all the time you need. Don't rush it, it's perfectly normal for

what you been through. We understand.

It's good to have some relaxing movies to watch later. Like Godzilla, Alien, Predator,

The Exorcist. Stuff like that. And don't run out of alcohol.

Random's avatar

It's funny, I'm actually gifting the happy couple a movie for their kid when he gets older. A family movie that means a lot to me. A true classic we actually screened 'round these parts not too long ago. "The Iron Giant".

"M"'s avatar

A true classic

Kid 'n Nipple-Play's avatar

Bring a heavy duty umbrella. Some of those little fuckers are heavy.

Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

You can do it!

I believe in you!

Parakeetist's avatar

Why is anyone in the shower with a baby?

goCatgo's avatar

Dirtee liddle bastards they are, Aye.

Tza's avatar

Getting real annoyed at misinformation about the NDAA and Israel.

What it does: deepen intelligence and cooperation ties. Standard enough move with an ally, but also something perfectly acceptable to question, protest, or demand alteration of. Senate Democrats want most of it chucked or reduced, tho it’s one of MANY issues in a large, poorly written bill giving our military WAY too much money.

What it does NOT do: “merge” our militaries. Wtf people. The US military barely tolerates the US government telling it what to do, they’d lose it if another government or military even TRIED. It does not do that at all.

ALSO a lot if people seem to think the NDAA is some newfangled “help Israel” bill. No. It is the National Defense Authorization Act, it’s just the yearly defense spending bill. There’s just something unusually shit in there this time.

paperlesstiger's avatar

USA has no formal alliance with Israel. This is just some ad hoc bullshit.

Tza's avatar

??? They're a major regional ally. This is essentially a bill going "give military more funding and tell them to do X with it" and X=greater cooperation with Israel. Which is, of course, perfectly valid to oppose! I oppose it and several other parts of the crappy NDAA the House shat out!

This issue is this weird "merge our militaries" conspiracy which falls apart with even two seconds of critical thought but people are ignoring because "oooooh evil Israeli puppet masters!"

jaspersdad's avatar

Whats the difference between grey and gray?

One's a colour and one's a color.

Sister Artemis's avatar

I read a lot of children's books printed in England when I was little. I picked up both "grey" and "colour" and also, somehow, "theatre" from back then. I eventually dropped "colour" in favor of the american spelling, but still automatically write "grey" and "theatre."

But about "grey" specifically: my brain has decided, without any concious effort on my part, that when spelled with an "e" it's a color on the bluish end of the spectrum, and with an "a" it's more of a brownish shade.

Go figure, brain!

noname's avatar

Hey, interesting to hear for me. I'm the same with grey, also from reading I think. Oddly, I 'see' them in the opposite way, with grAy more bluish.

"M"'s avatar

grey grey grey

Tea is Earl Grey

Mavenmaven's avatar

So even in (likely) death, McConnell will screw over American democracy one last time by preventing the election for his seat by blocking any documentation of his being alive or dead.

Sister Artemis's avatar

There was a time when as much as I hated what McConnell pushed in the Senate, I appreciated what a talented politician he was. He was less skeevy back then - more of a "use the rules to the GOP benefit" and less "bend the rules out of recognition" guy. But that's where it went, and he still remains one of my personal Least Favorite Assholes in Government. As Maxwell Smart would say, "if only he'd used his powers for good instead of evil..."

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

I hope they lose the body so that his status will remain In limbo for the rest of forever.

freakishlystrong's avatar

Doing what he loved most.