2203 Comments
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Matthew Hooper's avatar

No rest for the wicked. Prepping the bar for the Friday shift. Questions here.

Crystalclear12's avatar

"Ingredient shot. I know, the pictures of bottles with tape on them are inspiring. If and when I get a day off, I’ll put together something sexier."

OMG, you label shit?

I'm so impressed!!

Joe Schmoe, Troublemaker's avatar

Can you ask The Powers That Be if Becca can someday host a Wonkette shindig at Hemmingway's Underground? Bet there'd be comrades from near and far, there.

Asking for a friend. 😏

Staramour's avatar

Question: will I be judged harshly for the 2 coconut margs I just had? Second one ordered "strong" even though the first one packed a punch. 10 hours of driving today and in 2 days I have to meet up with my mom (85, dog bless) and watch her for 10 days. Tonight Mr. Star is here to be the DD and I'm safe at home. But if we had drink delivery around here I might have a third. Or fourth.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

I will never tell someone they're drinking wrong.

Staramour's avatar

The fruit options were coconut, strawberry, prickly pear and mango. Tomorrow is likely a Filipino joint with a calamansa cocktail that looks straight outta what an Alice in Wonderland "drink me" tag deserves. It's been a year since I've had to be here with mom so I'm trying to enjoy again what I enjoyed most last year.

Craig Nixon's avatar

<Eyes pint glass of Steel Reserve with suspicion>

Staramour's avatar

"spiked blue razz" sounds... ill advised?

Crystalclear12's avatar

Thank you.

Every.

Every margarita NEEDS salt.

Staramour's avatar

My 2 margs tonight were with salt. Sweet and salty and just perfect.

Zyxomma's avatar

No questions. We bought some pecan smoked salt while visiting the Carolinas, and it would go perfectly with your other ingredients. We're looking forward to recipes from or inspired by your trip.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Oh my. I was a decade in the Cackalack...how did I never come by this?

Zyxomma's avatar

Find the pecan wood smoked salt (as well as other perfectly evaporated sea salt, in plain and lots of flavors) at hatterassaltworks.com and you won't be sorry. I don't remember what you have to spend for free shipping, but it isn't much, and if you buy only a little it's flat rate shipping that's $5 or $6.

NewLarry's avatar

What I like most about the hand-labeled bottles is they're dated! Although TBH, I expected no less.

Craig Nixon's avatar

The Dept of Health doesn't take too kindly to ones that aren't labeled & dated.

Uncle Betamax's avatar

Why does Cointreau still exist?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

It's the best, cleanest triple sec around - the gold standard. Pricey, mind you.

Maureen's avatar

it tastes good?

Dirty Work's avatar

It's fun to say.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Are these pretzel sticks Gluten-free?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Lemme tell you where to put those sticks.

ciaobella's avatar

I first read that as preparing for the bar (as in bar exam). OH SHIT.

Rank Member's avatar

Ten things at once, one at a time, Hoop.

Dirty Work's avatar

When busy do you nonverbally communicate with the other tender and get her/his portion of his/her order that you can to affect efficiency? It's the behind the bar choreography I miss.

I tended 12 food servers and 2 cocktails and a full bar as we turned 2,000 meals on a average Saturday amongst other high volume gigs.

Maybe the best job I ever had and I've had a few bangers.

pskbh's avatar

And I love you. I've never been behind the bar but beyond the bar you made my life sweeter.

Dirty Work's avatar

Since you asked, I'm 20 something at the time and a rock star. 12 of 14 servers were pretty young women .. go figure at the first Chili's opened in Colo. They would literally cry to come on shift to find I'm out and Cheddar is working late.

I was in tall fuckin cotton.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Well. hot damn.

Mildred Downey Broxon's avatar

Well, look back and smile; it's the most we can all do, eventually.

Dirty Work's avatar

My finest moment at Chili's was refusing the advances of the cutest Kansas/Nebraska farmgirl evers.

"You have a family"

"He doesn't get home till six."

"Wasn't my point."

I made that mistake once and only once. Lotta damage incurred.

Maureen's avatar

Exactly. I am always reminded of John Hiatt - I'm just so easily lead when the little head does the thinking.

SterWonk's avatar

From context, I take it "dry" means "not sweet"? Or perhaps "low sugar"?

Another term I frequently see in conjunction with "dry" is "brut"; that means...?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

"Dry" can mean "not sweet" or "spirit forward", which are often, though not necessarily, the same thing. Brut is a drier, but not overly dry, style of champagne.

Maureen's avatar

"Dry" is indeed not sweet. My son is GF. He's provided me with something called a ginger Cylser - it's about the driest thing I've ever tasted, and it's a cider/ginger thing.

Dirty Work's avatar

For "context" I had a gay friend in college as we two were half the male contingent of U of Northern Colo. dance majors. He was a big Sean Connery critic.

"If you shake the vermouth, YOU'LL BRUISE IT!"

Stan, STFU already.

oblivias's avatar

Thanks for this one, Hoop! Now that I live adjacent to the hometown of tequila, Jalisco, I've got a renewed interest in margaritas. I have company coming next week. I'll hunt up the ingredients, though I may sub both the tequila and mezcal, depending. There are unlimited options here.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

How is Jalisco right now? The last reports I'd heard were that the cartels and the government were in a state of warfare. That was quite a while ago, however.

oblivias's avatar

I'm in La Cruz about 30 minutes north of Puerto Vallarta, I can see PV across the bay from my terrace. All is peaceful.

Renaissance Outlaw's avatar

Just don’t fuck up the Cherry Crumble

chascates's avatar

Stay hydrated!

Oliver Furman's PA's avatar

No questions, just wanted to say that I'm glad to hear you'll be going to Tales of the Cocktail. Enjoy!

Russell Jones's avatar

>>No rest for the wicked.<<

Money doesn't grown on trees

I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed

Ain't nothin' in this world for free

I can't slow down, I can't hold back

Even though I wish I could

There ain't no rest for the wicked

Until we close our eyes for good

aktlib101's avatar

I was reading this Rawstory article below and went to the comments section. Interesting speculation by one of the commenters on how Trump may try to steal the November elections

"Trump's earth-shattering Senate fight reveals terror at what's coming"

https://www.rawstory.com/raw-investigates/bill-pulte-trump/?

Commenter:

Raj Seshu

16 hours ago

"THIS HOW TRUMP WILL TRY TO STEAL THE ELECTIONS THIS FALL:

The "Green Bay Sweep" (as Navarro put it) was premised on pausing, stopping or even faking the electoral college vote count.

This Nov., it will be about *spoiling* the count and bringing in the paramiltaries.

Everything has already been telegraphed. No crystal ball needed.

1. Armed federal agents, acting under an administrative warrant, will seize voting machines and mail-in ballots in selected counties in order to send them to DC for an "investigation." This will occur on the evening of Tues Nov 3rd in large urban counties that will be critical to determining the outcome of selected house and senate races. (E.g.: Fulton co. GA). IMO it's extremely unlikely that state and local law enforcement will engage in a confrontation with these well-armed federal law enforcement officials acting under the "color of law" conferred by an administrative warrant.

2. The "chain of custody" is broken as soon as the ballots and machines are handed to the federal agents. It doesn't matter whether a judge later rules that this was an illegal seizure. GOP losing candidates can still sue in state court to prevent the spoiled tallies from being used.

3. Thune and Johnson will do their part by refusing to seat Democrats such as Roy Cooper or Jon Ossoff, on the grounds that there's an "ongoing investigation" into non-citizen voting, massive voter fraud, vote-switching in the machines due to Italian satellites (etc.). Either their GOP opponents will be seated, OR the seats will remain vacant until a new election is called. (The likely GOP governor in GA will appoint a Republican to temporarily fill Ossoff's seat. The same will be true in any other state with a GOP gov. such as IA, NH, OH, TX etc.)

4. Trump creates mass chaos in the streets by doing something outrageous. (Choose your own adventure.) He calls upon "patriots" to counter-protest ("Proud Boys - stand back and stand by."). Even without the slush fund, the message has been sent. And Trump's billionaire friends will be happy to funnel money to the paramilitaries (that's exactly what happened in Nazi Germany). And it's also no coincidence that Blanche is now moving to dismiss the seditious conspiracy indictments. As soon as the first paramilitary member wearing a BLM tee shirt smashes a window for the Fox News cameras ... voilà! - Insurrection Act. (Roger Stone and Steve Bannon have a lot of brainpower here.)

5. If nec'y SCOTUS (at least the conservatives) will refuse to intervene on justiciability grounds - maybe political Q.

Obviously I have no inside info. But it's not hard to get a bunch of sample mail-in ballots, fire up photoshop to remove the "SAMPLE" stamp, print a hundred of them and then throw them in a dumpster in the back of a Dem party HQ. (Snap a photo as your entry for the James O'Keefe/Project Veritas Annual Journalism Award.)

In any event - the predicate for the administrative warrant need not be disclosed on the grounds of "an ongoing investigation" or "national security" (sources & methods, yadda yadda).

Saviour of Bread's avatar

Morning spuggers, all well? Warm and sunny here, no really, and I’m rowing in a couple of hours. Just chilling with first breakfast and watching the world go by.

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Shhhh… it’s very quiet here. It would appear that we are the last guards standing at Sleeping Beauties’ castle.

Saviour of Bread's avatar

Wonkers sleep soundly in their beds, etc.

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

I had a friend go to town and she told me it was 86 Fahrenheits above zero there. We’re supposed to get a lot of lightning over the weekend, although no rain is predicted, so that combination is a perfect unstorm, with fire danger high. And it only being June.

Other than that, all is well. It was nowhere near that hot out here, thank goodness. I have a to-do list as long as my arm, and I cannot have anything derail me.

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Some people rented out the local park for the weekend for a wedding. It’s really beautiful, a lush green playing field, surrounded by tall spruce trees. They brought in a bunch of hanging flower baskets in bloom, and I heard they have a midnight wedding planned, being how it’s summer solstice. Just a lovely way to make memories. But woo hoo! Mosquitoes will make haste to the wedding!

Saviour of Bread's avatar

Morning Onthe, that sounds like it would be great if mosquito free, otherwise it’s a great story to tell in twenty years.

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

"...and then the skeeters carried off the ring bearer!"

PuraVida's avatar

I bet they are vicious up there. I once stopped at a high lake in Oregon in the Spring and I swear they were coming out of the snow to suck my blood.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

"I promise to love, honor, and share insect repellant."

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

I like the “… and keep your butt warm…” version, because it seems like that need persists longer than the mosquitoes season.

SayItWithWookies's avatar

And all this time I thought Dry Margarita was Ben Shapiro's mistress.

Parakeetist's avatar

Birb put eye drops into her eye, and now it feels a leetle bit better.

😀👏🏻🦜

Jjamie's avatar

Chirpy, clapping feathers for u

InMyRoom's avatar

Glad you feel better. Are you getting eye strain from reading or drawing?

InMyRoom's avatar

There is a damn mosquito in this house. Every morning and every evening it comes into my room for breakfast or dinner. It never bothers Mr. I am sick and tired of wearing mosquito repellent all the f-ing time.

I have a flying insect killer spray. If I pick up the can, it disappears. Also, must be very careful not to spray on the little dog.

Mr has a dozen fish tanks in his office, which is where the damn mosquito is living and probably raising a new family to bring to the daily buffet. Because they only bite me, Mr just denies they are breeding in the fish tanks. There is enough plant material to have still water in some places. I am about to spray this bug killer in the room with the fish. F the fish.

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

I would expect any mosquito larvae get eaten by the fishes.

Littorally Speaking's avatar

Croak the bugs without hurting the fish …

https://a.co/d/083AOBOW

Jjamie's avatar

Some kind of Avon lotion I have heard will help. Perhaps check the internet. I feel for you. They love me too. Because we are sweet, I believe

Penitent In Purgatory's avatar

If that doesn't work, spray Mr. Room with it until HE cleans up the damn fish tank

SayItWithWookies's avatar

It's not the fishes' fault. If there are mosquitoes breeding in the tank, you will be able to see their larvae hanging from the surface of the water. They have little snorkels on their back ends that they use to breathe air. You can scoop them out with a little fish net. Please don't poison stuff. Google mosquito larvae and what to do about them, and you should get some good tips.

paul's avatar

"I am a patient and you have to care for me. No, I will not cooperate with your expectations. B...b...but what about that other guy that got admitted ahead of ME?"

"That's how triage rolls. If you don't like it, you can G...g...get the fuck out. Or shut the fuck up and wait to be seen, you fucking Karen."

paul's avatar

It gets pretty frustrating working with difficult and/or violent patients only to be told to be more sensitive to their needs- when they come in demanding the best of everything and complining the food available and wanting to sue us....for doing our jobs. Treat and street. GTFO. If you complain about that bullsit, fuck you. Go to another hospital.....Oh, you did and got turffed to us? Fuck you all the same. Go with the system or go AMA. I get paid the same either way.

Caepan's avatar

When I was first being treated in the ER for my broken back, one of the orderlies that was lifting me off the gurney and onto a backboard as I’m screaming in pain said right next to me, “Geez, until that, I thought he was faking it!” Fucker. You think I’m so much of a junkie that I’d break a couple of vertebrae just for a fix?

Later that evening, still blind with pain and anger, I mistook the orderly helping me for that SOB and accused him of being that asshole. The orderly read me the riot act, essentially telling me the same thing you non-commented. “It wasn’t me. Don’t lash out at me because you’re in pain. And if you don’t like it, you can go to another hospital.” All I could do at that point was growl a “fuck you” through my gritted teeth.

But as the first week went on, that same orderly still treated me with skill and compassion. He had every chance in the world to seek his revenge, but he was thoroughly professional. (Shows you where my mind goes.)

He was on shift the day they were moving me from my hospital room the PT department upstairs. As everything was packed up and I was ready to go, I stopped them so I could shake his hand, and apologized to him for the way I acted. Yeah I was in pain, and it was mistaken identity, but that was no reason for me to act like I did, and that I was sincerely sorry for what I did. Of course he said no problem, don’t worry about it, he’d been called worse, etc. But that didn’t matter - I was the asshole, and I apologized.

And frankly, it made me feel a little better to atone for my sins. Pain hurts; apologies can make you feel better, even in a karmic sense.

paxpax's avatar

I am just home from my (med-surg) shift at the hospital. I have one on 1:1 observation who keeps demanding to talk to the manager (I'm the regular charge). Then I got a transfer from ICU - daughter calls and immediately tells me she hated all the nurses in the ICU and that I have an attitude. I told her "THAT'S JUST THE WAY I TALK - FORGET THAT I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR MOTHER". She called like FOUR times after that.

eppe's avatar

The nurses used to say that unruly patients used to wise up a bit once a doctor wearing a white coat entered the room. What with all the new multi-colored scrubs that may no longer be a thing.

paul's avatar

People tend to change their tune when Security shows up. They are excellent and mellow but they don't play.

paul's avatar

Sounds like a B52 might be wise to have in the back pocket.

Opposite of Oligarch's avatar

I just listened to one hour of ancient Pretenders demos.

I have a new, profound admiration for their eventual sound engineers and music arrangers. But I still love Chrissie.

Snarfyguy's avatar

Link?

Or is it not link-y?

Opposite of Oligarch's avatar

I listened on Apple Music. It’s some fancy re-released, remastered version of their (first? Chrissie in the middle in a red leather jacket) with about thirty thousand versions of their demos after all the remastered stuff (which sounds beautiful.)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000HIVQD0?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback

It was interesting, admittedly, but too much for my small attention span. I had never heard “Cuban Slide” before though, and I loved it.

Opposite of Oligarch's avatar

At the MN State Fair (real thing, not on the White House Lawn) for yeeeeaars, there was a really wonderful, low-key, laid back Patsy Cline performer (I won’t say impersonator, because it was more a heartfelt, mood-right admiration thing) in the far right back-most corner of the fairgrounds behind the midway, a little outdoor venue that held maybe thirty people.

She did several shows an afternoon/night, and I used to abandon my boyfriend and friends and go sit there and beam at her, and I’m not even a spectacularly intense Patsy Cline fan. There was just something so Raymond Carver or Frederick Barthelme short story about sitting in the little crappy stands while she worked with such magical commitment for such a dopey audience.

Once, a friend surreptitiously followed me and eventually sat silently next to me (she was curious about why I was sneaking off) and afterwards hugged me and said, “Okay, I get it.”

JCfromNC's avatar

And a non-humorous McSweeney's link -- their list tracking Trump's various misdeeds, updated for May.

"Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes"

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/may-2026-atrocities-931-1013

ShrillKitty's avatar

I am given to understand we won our sportsball thingy

Go team, etc

JCfromNC's avatar

The only sportsball thingie result I'm vaguely aware of is the Carolina Hurricanes and the Stanley Cup, and I only know about that because every local person is talking about it.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

That was a very convincing victory that I personally was glad to see.

I'm indifferent to the Canes, but I don't like the Golden Knights. I didn't like their sour old hired-gun coach (now gone), I don't like their acquitted-of-rape goaltender, and they play in a city that, while it has its charms, 1) has nothing to do with hockey and 2) is the most parasitic economy on Earth.

WWRx's avatar

and their uniforms suck

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Specifically, Team USA got to the second round of the World Cup. That's not a gimmie.

JCfromNC's avatar
4hEdited

A couple of Father's Day-themed McSweeney's links:

"Texts My Father Sent That Can Also Be Microfiction"

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/texts-my-father-sent-that-can-also-be-microfiction

//

"Unsung Heroes of Fatherhood"

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/unsung-heroes-of-fatherhood

Sister Artemis's avatar

Both links were much appreciated