2691 Comments
User's avatar
Matthew Hooper's avatar

No rest for the wicked. Prepping the bar for the Friday shift. Questions here.

Hippo Heaven's avatar

I am somehow fixated on the dehydrated lime. How do you get it just the right degree of limp/worn-out?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

It’s as crisp as a potato chip. They’re great in summertime as garnishes - less fresh fruit, less fruit flies.

Hippo Heaven's avatar

But how do you prepare them to get them just right?

And do people understand the "dry" play on words, or wonder if there's something wrong with it?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

A day in a half in a commercial dehydrator. Easy peasy. The margarita hasn’t hit the menu yet, we’ll see if the joke lands.

Hippo Heaven's avatar

I will be very interested to hear more. I don't drink, but you make the subject fascinating.

easelox is on timeout's avatar

Nice, we make low class mezcal ritas all summer, will be fun to compare this to our lazy version (1:1 cheap mezcal and organic jalapeño limeade)

Thanks!

Crystalclear12's avatar

"Ingredient shot. I know, the pictures of bottles with tape on them are inspiring. If and when I get a day off, I’ll put together something sexier."

OMG, you label shit?

I'm so impressed!!

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Labels with dates. It's just science.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Also too...it's the law.

Joe Schmoe, Troublemaker's avatar

Can you ask The Powers That Be if Becca can someday host a Wonkette shindig at Hemmingway's Underground? Bet there'd be comrades from near and far, there.

Asking for a friend. 😏

Maureen's avatar

I like this idea.

Staramour's avatar

Question: will I be judged harshly for the 2 coconut margs I just had? Second one ordered "strong" even though the first one packed a punch. 10 hours of driving today and in 2 days I have to meet up with my mom (85, dog bless) and watch her for 10 days. Tonight Mr. Star is here to be the DD and I'm safe at home. But if we had drink delivery around here I might have a third. Or fourth.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

I will never tell someone they're drinking wrong.

Shocktreatment's avatar

"Just because I wouldn't do things that way doesn't mean it's wrong, let's see what happens..."

Staramour's avatar

The fruit options were coconut, strawberry, prickly pear and mango. Tomorrow is likely a Filipino joint with a calamansa cocktail that looks straight outta what an Alice in Wonderland "drink me" tag deserves. It's been a year since I've had to be here with mom so I'm trying to enjoy again what I enjoyed most last year.

Craig Nixon's avatar

<Eyes pint glass of Steel Reserve with suspicion>

Staramour's avatar

"spiked blue razz" sounds... ill advised?

Craig Nixon's avatar

Never heard of it, but sounds ill advised to me too.

Crystalclear12's avatar

Thank you.

Every.

Every margarita NEEDS salt.

Staramour's avatar

My 2 margs tonight were with salt. Sweet and salty and just perfect.

Zyxomma's avatar

No questions. We bought some pecan smoked salt while visiting the Carolinas, and it would go perfectly with your other ingredients. We're looking forward to recipes from or inspired by your trip.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Oh my. I was a decade in the Cackalack...how did I never come by this?

Zyxomma's avatar

Find the pecan wood smoked salt (as well as other perfectly evaporated sea salt, in plain and lots of flavors) at hatterassaltworks.com and you won't be sorry. I don't remember what you have to spend for free shipping, but it isn't much, and if you buy only a little it's flat rate shipping that's $5 or $6.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Damn, now I want ALL of them. :)

NewLarry's avatar

What I like most about the hand-labeled bottles is they're dated! Although TBH, I expected no less.

Craig Nixon's avatar

The Dept of Health doesn't take too kindly to ones that aren't labeled & dated.

Shocktreatment's avatar

𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘦 𝘐𝘭𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦

Grover Norquist

Uncle Betamax's avatar

Why does Cointreau still exist?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

It's the best, cleanest triple sec around - the gold standard. Pricey, mind you.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Are these pretzel sticks Gluten-free?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Lemme tell you where to put those sticks.

ciaobella's avatar

I first read that as preparing for the bar (as in bar exam). OH SHIT.

Rank Member's avatar

Ten things at once, one at a time, Hoop.

Dirty Work's avatar

When busy do you nonverbally communicate with the other tender and get her/his portion of his/her order that you can to affect efficiency? It's the behind the bar choreography I miss.

I tended 12 food servers and 2 cocktails and a full bar as we turned 2,000 meals on a average Saturday amongst other high volume gigs.

Maybe the best job I ever had and I've had a few bangers.

pskbh's avatar

And I love you. I've never been behind the bar but beyond the bar you made my life sweeter.

Dirty Work's avatar

Since you asked, I'm 20 something at the time and a rock star. 12 of 14 servers were pretty young women .. go figure at the first Chili's opened in Colo. They would literally cry to come on shift to find I'm out and Cheddar is working late.

I was in tall fuckin cotton.

Mildred Downey Broxon's avatar

Well, look back and smile; it's the most we can all do, eventually.

Dirty Work's avatar

My finest moment at Chili's was refusing the advances of the cutest Kansas/Nebraska farmgirl evers.

"You have a family"

"He doesn't get home till six."

"Wasn't my point."

I made that mistake once and only once. Lotta damage incurred.

Maureen's avatar

Exactly. I am always reminded of John Hiatt - I'm just so easily lead when the little head does the thinking.

SterWonk's avatar

From context, I take it "dry" means "not sweet"? Or perhaps "low sugar"?

Another term I frequently see in conjunction with "dry" is "brut"; that means...?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

"Dry" can mean "not sweet" or "spirit forward", which are often, though not necessarily, the same thing. Brut is a drier, but not overly dry, style of champagne.

Maureen's avatar

"Dry" is indeed not sweet. My son is GF. He's provided me with something called a ginger Cylser - it's about the driest thing I've ever tasted, and it's a cider/ginger thing.

Dirty Work's avatar

For "context" I had a gay friend in college as we two were half the male contingent of U of Northern Colo. dance majors. He was a big Sean Connery critic.

"If you shake the vermouth, YOU'LL BRUISE IT!"

Stan, STFU already.

oblivias's avatar

Thanks for this one, Hoop! Now that I live adjacent to the hometown of tequila, Jalisco, I've got a renewed interest in margaritas. I have company coming next week. I'll hunt up the ingredients, though I may sub both the tequila and mezcal, depending. There are unlimited options here.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

How is Jalisco right now? The last reports I'd heard were that the cartels and the government were in a state of warfare. That was quite a while ago, however.

oblivias's avatar

I'm in La Cruz about 30 minutes north of Puerto Vallarta, I can see PV across the bay from my terrace. All is peaceful.

Renaissance Outlaw's avatar

Just don’t fuck up the Cherry Crumble

Rags's avatar

Thousands of flights grounded due to air traffic control outage in mpls. If you're travelling to/through the upper Midwest, keep an eye on things

Ward From Cali's avatar

Hooper, if you're reading this, then you'll gather that I was so traumatized by the term "dry margarita" that it took me a while weekend to screw up the courage to read it. Fine "dry" can mean "not sugary," but in this context it implied a margarita without tequila, which would be an abomination, a smoothie, not a cocktail. Can we come up with a better way to highlight the non-sugariness?

Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

I did a quick search at Faux News for "Reflecting pool"

These are some of the headlines...

"Who is David Hearn? US Olympian who denies vandalizing Reflecting Pool after viral arrest"

"Trump blames vandals for Lincoln Memorial pool repairs"

"Jeanine Pirro vows DC Reflecting Pool vandals will be ‘prosecuted to the fullest extent’"

"Former Olympian arrested in connection with Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool vandalism"

"Former Olympian among those charged with vandalizing Reflecting Pool; Trump says basin must be drained: report"

"Liberal media faces backlash for criticizing reflecting pool"

Of the comments show that the rubes are buying tRump's BS.

Marlon Rando's avatar

That's pretty good!! Why strain yourself, the door's right here!

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Saturday Brain Teaser Problem

Imagine you are walking in your local park. You see two things directly in your path; on the right is an enormous pile of fresh reeking dog shit and on the left you have donnie himself, passed out and unconscious amid a huge pile of fast food wrappers. What do you do?

aktlib101's avatar

Take the time to cover Donnie with that pile of dog shit?

TerseNurse's avatar

kick Don twice, and then pistol-whip him to make sure?

Marlon Rando's avatar

It's a slow Sat AM, taking dope and sipping ice water while listening to MSNOW, getting a massage later today then supper.

RayRay is watching the morning birbs.

Resource NW's avatar

Cat TV, channel CHKD.

Craig Nixon's avatar

𝐔𝐒 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐮𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 ‘𝐌𝐫 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤’ 𝐙𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲𝐲, 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬

𝑆𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑆𝑐𝑜𝑡𝑡 𝐵𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑒𝑑 𝑎 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑙𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑅𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒, 𝑏𝑦 𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑇𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠

Scott Bessent, the US treasury secretary, advised Donald Trump not to host Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Oval Office, having called the Ukrainian president a “little fucker”, a “special-needs child” and “Mr Bean on crack”, according to a new book.

The suggestion that a US cabinet official described a world leader in such terms is included in Regime Change, a blockbusting account of the second Trump administration by New York Times reporters Maggie Haberman and Jonathan Swan, set to be published worldwide on Tuesday.

News of Bessent’s alleged remarks may embarrass the Trump administration, although the meeting that did take place on 28 February 2025 proved outright disastrous, as Trump and JD Vance blasted Zelenskyy for not being grateful for aid in his fight against Russian invaders, and for not wearing a suit.

“‘I’ve dealt with this little fucker,’ Bessent would say to associates about Zelenskyy,” according to the book. “‘He’s tricky. He’s like the special-needs child for the Europeans. And he’s acting like Mr Bean on crack.”

The treasury department did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Regime Change also contains alleged details of Bessent’s unsuccessful handling of the minerals deal. Prior to the Oval Office fiasco, the treasury secretary visited Kyiv to press Zelenskyy to sign. It did not go well.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jun/20/scott-bessent-volodymyr-zelenskyy-trump

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Bessent: Proving once *again* that rich, white men are completely out of touch with ANY reality.

Resource NW's avatar

Wait, is that the same Mr. Bean who blew up 40% of Russia's strategic bomber fleet shortly after being told that Ukraine held no cards? I never like Mr. Bean (I much prefer m. Hulot), but now that was funny!

Rags's avatar

My dad, by no means a movie buff or big laugher got hysterical over hulot many years ago

C&A Bongo Man's avatar

Mr Bean on crack is the only way to watch the annoying git.

Kept Rowan in expensive motors for a few years though.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Get ready to be Ukraine-trolled.

VasyaCognito's avatar

Yet another reason to despise Scott Bessent.

SkeptiKC's avatar

I want to kick that prick so aggressively that he starts pissing through his teeth.

Hops: grrr mad's avatar

I would pay one dollar to see that. I'll throw in a couple of Scorpions CDs, too.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Some junk NEEDS pummelin'!

Ann's avatar

This offends me more than it should, given all the other horrible insights into this administration. Bessent is such a smug, sneering, stick-in-ass looking mofo - how dare he pass judgment on ANYONE let alone a sincere leader battling against enormous adversity. Grrr.

EyeQueue's avatar

Someone needs to puch that perma-smirk off his ugly fugly mug. I hope I live to see tha smirk knocked the fuck off his face.

SkeptiKC's avatar

Scott Bessent damned good and well needs his pretentious patookus pummeled mercilessly.

EyeQueue's avatar

Wow.

Look in the mirror, you dickfuck.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

He’s tricky and a “special needs child”. OK.

vorpal 🇨🇦 Elbows Up! 🇨🇦's avatar

Ah, Scott 'The Humble Soybean Farmer' Bissent?

Eat shit, asshole.

Love, vorpal

Hops: grrr mad's avatar

Another one of Piggy's meat puppets acts tough; just looks like the impotent ass he is.

Fuck off, Scott. You're a rubber faced joke.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

To be fair, there's a particular "world leader" who I describe in far less flattering terms.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

𝗘𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘀: 𝗚𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗨𝘀, 𝗛𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝘄𝘀 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗗𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗱 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗽

Real people. Real fights. Real victories.

https://www.dworkinsubstack.com/p/eight-wins-great-for-us-horrible?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=392745&post_id=202755794&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=3i9ct&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email

Birb-General of the US's avatar

I feel better already. P.S. after lots of bad or so-so weather, we have a perfect solstice day here. 70's, sun, and a light breeze.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Let the moonlight nekkid dancing commence!

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

Yeah, weather looks iffy all next week, so I better get my errands done today and tomorrow.

PrimerGray's avatar

A response to a letter about Assface’s coal plant initiative from the editor of my favorite local lefty fortnightly.

Trump’s Republican predecessor once said, “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” Bush was telling the truth when he said that, though he probably didn’t consciously mean it. We wish we could say the same about this addled, overgrown Energizer Elephant with whom we’re currently stuck. A dozen times a day, it seems, this know-nothing, do-everything human wrecking ball has discovered some obscure governmental function of which we may not have even been aware, and conjured up some idiotic scheme to render it inoperable. Of course, it’s not him that’s doing it. That would imply that he’s focused and industrious. No, he’s drooling in his sleep as the hangers-on and sucker-fish surrounding him compete for his favor by ruining something new and different.

The Editor

Russell Jones's avatar

Well, I got shit to do today, sad to say. Until we meet again, here's Buddy Hackett and the duck joke:

https://youtu.be/bkLR0p4bAiQ

Bupkus231's avatar

The NYT is at it again, Here's a headline that is clearly biased:

"𝐋𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐔.𝐒.-𝐈𝐫𝐚𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐚𝐫"

Why make a headline like this, when Israel is the nation that's attacking Lebanon. If you are so biased in favor of Israel, why not make the headline about Hezbollah.

Stupid, stupid, stupid

On the other side of the coin, WaPo has this headline:

"𝐔.𝐒. 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐈𝐬𝐫𝐚𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐈𝐫𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥, 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐲"

One could say this is at least as biased the other way against Israel...

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Why bother listening to the oxymoronic "US intelligence" for such an insight?

All anyone has to do is notice that the NYT refuses to publish the photos of the piles of dead bodies in Gaza and Lebanon and the conclusion is painfully obvious.

Bupkus231's avatar

Personally, I think anyone who thinks "US intelligence" is inept doesn't know squat about the intelligence community. The problem is that the people they report to ignore their expertise - or make up their own from unreliable sources ( remember "Curveball"? )

"...Despite warnings from the United States's Central Intelligence Agency, German Federal Intelligence Service and the British Secret Intelligence Service questioning the authenticity of the claims, the US and British governments utilized them to build a rationale for military action in the lead up to the 2003 invasion of Iraq..."

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

I get impatient with them when they warn us of obvious things like “Israel is gonna gum things up.”

Jen Is Not It's avatar

yes. Lebanon is the weak link and not the mother fuckers who are on the record as saying the entire country has to be blitzed

Bupkus231's avatar

I think you missed my point. The headline writer at the NYT made it sound as if the country of Lebanon would be the ones breaking the "U.S.-Iran Deal". I know that you mean that the conflict affecting Lebanon ( the Israeli effort to eliminate Hezbollah is the "easy" reason ) will affect the deal.

As it is, I'm not sure if the second half of your statement,

"...and not the mother fuckers who are on the record as saying the other country has to be blitzed"

Indicate that you are in favor of Israel invading and bombing Lebanon. Then again, I recognize that this might be sarcasm.

Meccalopolis's avatar

Stop making me punch you, said every bully ever.

Mighty Little Dog's avatar

Lebanon is a battleground full of victims

Oy!'s avatar

Anyone checked the Strait this morning? Is it clogged again?

R. Riddle's avatar

Trump is blaming JD Vance's beard hairs clogging the drain.

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Liners are a pealing . . .

Birb-General of the US's avatar

The Strait of Hormuz gets clogged about as often as my common bile duct.

Oy!'s avatar

NYT: "The Reflecting Pool Appears to Be Rejecting Its Makeover"

Failed 'Mar-a-lago Face'?

Bupkus231's avatar

I also see that Trump is blaming vandals for the paint peeling, not the Park Service employees that used hydrogen peroxide as an algaecide.

Anything to deny any fucking responsibility when something he does goes wrong.

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Besides, vandals just take handles . . .

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Thats why the pumps stopped working!

Resource NW's avatar

No pumps, no filters equals green pools. It is so simple even a ginger can figure it out.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Maybe lining it with Fruit Roll-Ups wasn't the best idea.

Jen Is Not It's avatar

antifa is obviously pouring chemicals in Bibi's ear making him do asinine things

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

Feles adiuvat!

"Kitty paw prints on a Roman clay tile! 😻 🐾

A tiny moment in time preserved in clay some 2,000 years ago when a kitten walked across this wet clay tile which was lying out to dry before firing."

https://bsky.app/profile/alisonfisk.bsky.social/post/3mopt25zfrk27

Old guy named Bill (OGNB)'s avatar

Wait a minute. Cats were around before the 21st century? I thought they only came into existence at the same time as Youtube.

Thesaurus Wrecks 2547's avatar

Hillbilly Algae

By JD Vance

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Hey, Thesaurus, I haven’t seen you around for a while. I hope all is well for you.

Thesaurus Wrecks 2547's avatar

Thanks for checking on me! Just needed to touch grass for awhile.

vorpal 🇨🇦 Elbows Up! 🇨🇦's avatar

The perfect book title doesn't exis.....

Craig Nixon's avatar

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

Suzie Greenburg's avatar

And we're off and running on the internet today!

Russell Jones's avatar

"President Trump's neighbor is the billionaire nepo baby of William Cafaro whose prior accomplishments included a conviction for paying a bribe to the uber corrupt Jim Traficant, but President Trump believes in second chances."