562 Comments
User's avatar
Matthew Hooper's avatar

Busy go. Working a clopen pray for me.

Parakeetist's avatar

Hi there. What is your favorite brand of vodka?

Thanks.

Jamoche's avatar

I’ve got all the ingredients for the first one, but I too am not a fan of syrupy drinks.

tehbaddr's avatar

A Clopen! Well you may as well stay there all night and booze it up!

Smoke O'Possum's avatar

Ah, the clopen. That takes me back.

I worked Friday fish party on the floor, then jumped behind the bar until it calmed down around midnight, the pulled Saturday prime rib service on the floor until 10 or 11, and back behind the bar to close, hoping to be home by 3:00, to turn around for the 10AM football early birds on Sunday morning and out by 3:00 again.

It took me 15 years of clawing my way up garbage admin jobs to make the same money I made working hard Friday through Sundays in the service industry.

The rewards are substantial, and the industry family you make along the way...they're our people forever.

*cheers, brother*

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I don’t like shots and haven’t drunk them ever since I was offered some blue things and ended up behaving disreputably and really wishing I was dead the next morning.

Smoke O'Possum's avatar

When I order shots these days it's Bushmills or Milagro, or "the weakest sweet shit you can throw a skirt on."

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Nothing like showing up for a day of meetings and getting a standing o.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Southern Comfort “you rang “

Smoke O'Possum's avatar

I blocked Southern Comfort's number back in the 90s.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Is there a Patron Saint of Bartenders?

Vic's avatar

Amandus of Maastricht?

ames's avatar

🙏🙏🙏 may God bless all the clopeners.

noname's avatar

Which are what?

Hirightnow's avatar

People who can only afford generic Klonopin?

Jamoche's avatar

Closing shift followed by an opening shift.

Craig Nixon's avatar

ALL HAIL THE KING!!

JanuaryClaire's avatar

He’s *King* Nerd, thank you very much!

Smoke O'Possum's avatar

He absolutely is, and he knows it!

SkeptiKC's avatar

Linus is the properly coronated king of the proverbial jungle.

That crown is just TOO damned regally gratifying.

The Wanderer's avatar

I ran across this one years ago.

The 9-1-1:

Layered drink in a shot glass, equal parts 151-proof rum, 100-proof vodka, Kahlua.

The name is appropriate.

zuludaddy (seamonkey!)'s avatar

there goes the

sunset gun

(do something fun nao, okay!)

zuludaddy (seamonkey!)'s avatar

okaaaaay the smart humans from QI, in their 'no such thing as a fish' rather excellent podcast, have taught me a thing just nao:

apparently, smartypants humans who are women are not 'boffins,' but rather 'boffines'

which is kinda nice

455 Rocket Cat, Space Donkey's avatar

Boffin was the name of the dustheap man in Dickens’s Hard Times, iirc?

Hank Napkin's avatar

Dad was a Loaf Sleever for La Brea Bakery. When they got big he lost his job to a Chinese robot.

Birb-General of the US's avatar

These caught my attention at the grocery store FOR SOME REASON...

https://substack.com/@birbgeneral/note/c-314431799?r=1sycmt

MRK's avatar

I don't think that link goes to where you meant it to go.

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Hunter Biden on my favorite recovery and addiction podcast, Dopey. He goes deep on recovery, pain, and OHJB's love!

Hunter Biden! 10-Day Crack Binge, Four-Lane Car Crash, Secret Service at the Crack House, Bicycles, Ibogaine & the Owl That Saved His Life

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dopey-597-hunter-biden-10-day-crack-binge-four-lane/id1077823917?i=1000786461254

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

WSJ

Corporate America Cut Big Checks to Trump. Now CEOs Fear Subpoenas Are Coming.

Tech firms are courting Democrats and hiring advisers to prepare for potential investigations if Republicans lose control of the House

It's not "if" but when mofo's.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

They were deliberately working to end democracy and freedom. That should count as treason.

clairence's avatar

Oh em gee. Orange says it's Lake America, that we (he) now own all of Venezuela's oil, and Yosemite can be parceled out to Vegas developers.

MRK's avatar

And that last bit is the only part that may actually happen.

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

Poor Daisy the Cat. I knocked her water bowl with my foot - accidentally, accidentally. Now she is having a hard time processing all the water around the bowl. She's no Einstein

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Sometimes when we play toss and fetch, Termite's squeaker will bounce inrlto his water dish. He cannot figure out how to get it out. He stands and barks for me to get it from him.

Jamoche's avatar

My new kitten has access to two cat fountains but prefers freshly poured still water. And he plays with it first. The water bowl has to sit in a bigger tray, because he doesn’t care about the spilled water but I do.

chascates's avatar

Hitch your wagon to a star!

"Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is privately discussing a potential run for president in 2028, according to a new report, potentially adding another central administration figure to the emerging battle to inherit the MAGA movement from President Donald Trump.

The defense secretary and his wife, Jennifer Hegseth, have both floated the prospect with close friends and associates over the past several months, two people familiar with the conversations told NBC News on Friday.

The former Fox News host’s political ambitions drew fresh attention earlier this month when Hegseth traveled to the Iowa State Fair to campaign for Rep. Zach Nunn (R-IA). Iowa has traditionally occupied a crucial position in presidential politics as the first state to hold Republican nominating contests, which piqued curiosity after the defense secretary’s visit.

Hegseth has also publicly touted his dismantling of DEI programs and other policies he has branded “woke garbage” at the Pentagon while taking that same culture-war message directly to Trump’s political base."

https://www.mediaite.com/media/news/pete-hegseth-privately-floats-presidential-run-to-friends-report/

Cock Blockula's avatar

Wow, talk about not reading the room!

Phried Ω's avatar

Remember how Ike ran for president AFTER winning the greatest war in history?

Eva, Iron Goddess of Mercy's avatar

Oh please run! It’ll make it an even bigger freak show!

chascates's avatar

Trump will sell his endorsement to the highest bidder. Or maybe a Veep slot.

BlueStateLibel's avatar

He seems to have missed the part that says only military people who WIN wars get elected president.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

President Dunning Kruger!

Prometheus59650's avatar

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/vTFDqH_cWE8

"Farming While Beige" explains to misogynist Andrew Wilson why, "Man will just subjugate women again" is just his wet dream.

Parakeetist's avatar

What if all the women just leave?

I mean, they can walk out into the damn woods any time they want.

Also, what if they say no?

Also, does he know women can go to the gun store?

Snarfyguy's avatar

Lysistrata on line 1.

paul's avatar

I don't know who I would want to run for POTUS yet, but I do know that I would be ok with AOC being SotH if we take the midterms. I don't hate Hakeem, but I just don't think he is the pit bull that we need right now.

Phried Ω's avatar

The Speaker job is persuader/bully/mathematician. Nancy knew the last one was most important.

OrdinaryJoe's avatar

The only shots worth a damn in these times starts with a bottle of good tequila, a small glass, with lime wedges and a salt shaker on the side.