Hendrick’s gin, Tito’s vodka, St. Germaine, anisette, crème de cassis , crème de banana, and ridiculously small amounts of Kahlua and Jim Beam, like a scant quarter cup of each
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster = In a tall glass with ice combine 1/2 oz each gin, rum, vodka, tequila. +1 oz each of at least 4 different flavors of DeKuyper's fruit brandy (dealer's choice). Top off with orange juice and a splash of grenadine. For your own safety do not consume more than one of these.
Cointreau is the gold standard. Stirrings Organic Triple Sec is also good and way cheaper. Krueper or Montezuma taste like Orange Crush, and that’s not a good thing.
Aged tawny port, dry fino sherry, bourbon, Kingston 62 Jamaica gold rum, Japanese plum wine, Sauvignon blanc, Malbec, and from the fridge, Fever Tree tonic water and vegan heavy cream.
I never drink more than a sip of bourbon, unless it's truly great. Meccalopolis drinks it straight, while I have port or sherry when we return from our radio show Saturday nights. No ginger ale here, just ginger. There's a bottle of Prosecco waiting in the fridge for a very special occasion.
There is this hunter. He is walking through a field and a pheasant flutters in front of his face and flies straight up and over him. He pulls the trigger and hits it. One in a million shot.
So he goes and reaches to grab it
"HEY fella, what you dooin'"
"Well, I just shot this pheasant. Im takin it home to cook it up"
"No sir, see that bird fell on my property. Its mine so make haste"
The hunter explained that the bird wouldn't have fallen on the property save for his marksmanship and therefore his.
The debate came to an impasse. Finally the property owner said "let us settle this once and for all. You squat down and I will kick you in the crotch as hard as I can. I will do the same. Whom ever gives up first leaves the bird"
"Fair enough" the hunter squatted down ant the farmer took 3 big strides and kicked him in the naughty bits.
The hunter withered and rolled around in pain for a good 3 or 4 minutes.
"All right my turn"
The farmer squatted down. The hunter took a few steps back and just before the hunter was ready to lay in on his swim suit area the Farmer jumped up and "keep the fuckin' bird. I raise chickens"
*rim shot*
(Its not a good joke. But has Baconzgood ever promised a good joke?)
They are BEAUTIFUL! As someone who tied decorating cakes/cupcakes for a retirement hobby, I can say with certainty that doing all those little frosting dollops is harder than it looks. Hard on the hands, squeezing that bag, and if the frosting gets warmer from the body heat, the dollops aren't as crisp. You did well, pax! Hope your work folks enjoy them!
Trump's rambling speech sees aides 'rush reporters out' over fears 'something's wrong'
Donald Trump's aides seemingly "hurried the press" out of the Oval Office following a speech that sparked concerns that "something was wrong". Donald Trump addressed reporters on a variety of topics at the White House yesterday (July 30), including the conflict in Iran, his recent meeting with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, and his desire to "end the war" in Ukraine.
However, things took an odd turn when the US President shifted focus to more local matters. He rambled about his team "changing all the grass in all the parks" before, oddly stating that grass is akin to "human beings".
This prompted what one critic described as an urgent scramble to get those present the "hell out of there". It comes just days after Trump was accused of having an unfortunate 'pooing' incident during a funeral of his friend.
Speaking on his YouTube channel, The David Pakman Show, he later noted: "As it became clear to the aides in the room that Donald Trump was starting to decompensate, and he simply couldn't do it anymore, the bevvy of aides who mostly have the same look, I don't know if like, am I not supposed to notice that the aides have a very similar look? They just rush reporters out of the room."
This really is nothing new--the creature is, and always has been an infantile moron with the attention span of a housefly. That the flunkyfuhreren appear to feel the need to paper it over at all is noteworthy, I s'pose.
After he is finally returned to dust, we're going to discover that Trump, his family, and his defenders are a hundred times more corrupt, stupid, and morally and sexually depraved than we ever thought they were.
Okay, but no seriously this needs to be brought to a screeching halt. There's intentional ignorance complicity and then there's actively trying to conceal how far he's declined.
If you step back and look at things from a certain remove, you will realize the worst atrocities America could ever commit would have to have been voted for . . .
"Penetrating eye injury at premises licensed to sell alcohol beverages for consumption on said premises, Time in, 7:05..."
The licenced premises unlocked its doors at seven AM...
The sum total energy of the universe hasn't changed, if the physics persons and their conservation principles are correct, but with entropy and time, temperature differences, the gradients will vanish and that energy required for physical work becomes unaccessible...
Stupidity will be completely unaffected and will run even more rampant than now, and we'll all be too damn entropic to stop it...
"I don't know what I am going to do with him..." LOL, you pick him/her up at take them home. THAT is what you do and for god's sake do NOT give them milk!!!!!
"UEFA says it has lost confidence in FIFA President Gianni Infantino and that “no option should be off the table” as it will pursue a full review of his now abandoned plan to sell stakes of the World Cup to private equity investors."
When WHEN will they learn? He turns to shit anything, and everyone he touches.
I still laugh at when I first saw a photo of Fatberg and some other guy harassing the winning team on stage and caption mentioned Infantino, I thought they were making fun of Fatberg.
See, I wonder if when Trump suddenly drops from a massive brain aneurysm, how about we just send Iran a little note suggesting we all just pretend the last ~12 months didn't happen?
No way are they that dumb, we've lost control (as much as we ever had it) over the Gulf and that's not coming back. Probably ever.
There's only evacuation flights* for Trump Gold Members.
*Flights not guaranteed, nothing has been booked, maybe a US airline will realize the big beautiful things that will happen if they go and pickup all those people?
Working. Slow right now, that’ll change soon. Tell me what’s in your liquor cabinet, I’ll make a cocktail out of it.
Whiskey + glass. Serve me.
What kind of glass?
Big one
Throw it in the freezer. When it’s cold, fill it with ice and pour in two fingers of bourbon.
Two fingers? It's nine o'clock in the morning-ish!
Two fingers to start, then two more just in case...
You've just described my cooking style that I've had since I don't remember. I'll look at a recipe when I'm feeling fancy.
Hendrick’s gin, Tito’s vodka, St. Germaine, anisette, crème de cassis , crème de banana, and ridiculously small amounts of Kahlua and Jim Beam, like a scant quarter cup of each
Got any cream in the fridge?
Half and half
Not ideal, but workable. White Russian, 1/4 oz creme de banana.
Unflavored soju, bison grass vodka, honey brandy of some sort, and 20 dollar white rum I'm going to turn into spice extract for baking season.
Any soda water?
Only diet Canada dry😂
Any tea you like?
Spearmint, pear, and cinnamon. (All separate bags of loose leaf)
Prosecco, soda, lime, ginger, Angustora bitters, salt and sugar
We have Prosecco in the fridge (knew that but didn't mention it) that won't be opened until a special celebration day.
I have a sparkling white for the same occasion.
I'll be right over.
Yep. Champagne cocktail. Prosecco, sugar, bitters. Basically an old fashioned with champagne.
I think you've already answered your question. Sounds like a champagne cocktail to me. Ginger for extra zshush [sp?] and interest.
Chartreuse, some random bitters, and a bottle of cherry blossom wine. It's a little thin on the ground post vacation.
Yellow or green chartreuse?
Green, all the way.
Got any soda water?
Yes, I do.
Chartreuse, soda, sugar and/or lime to correct the balance.
Gotta love anything with that garage sale vibe and the spirit of jazz improvisation goosing the creation of ART all caps.
"Ah, those jazz guys are just making that stuff up."
😄😄
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster = In a tall glass with ice combine 1/2 oz each gin, rum, vodka, tequila. +1 oz each of at least 4 different flavors of DeKuyper's fruit brandy (dealer's choice). Top off with orange juice and a splash of grenadine. For your own safety do not consume more than one of these.
Sounds like a long island ice tea!
Can I substitute bourbon? Outta gin.
Normally I would say no, clear booze only, but in this case, why not!?
Every Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster recipe I’ve ever read sounded like it was written at a hotel room bar at a sci-fi convention. Not a compliment.
This particular one was concocted by a bored bartender at a restaurant I worked in university.
a.k.a. Vomit Comet
If you dare to go for a second one, then yes, an express ride.
😂
The classic "Christmas Tree" of my misspent youth.
Don't forget the peel of lemon wrapped around a gold brick
"having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick." is also my preference.
This should come with an MSDS.
In EU countries it does. Too bad it's written in Czech.
In EU, Blaster gargles you.
Honest question, what’s a good orange liqueur for a Rita?
Cointreau is the gold standard. Stirrings Organic Triple Sec is also good and way cheaper. Krueper or Montezuma taste like Orange Crush, and that’s not a good thing.
Gran Marnier
^^this^^
Also great in Cosmos.
Aged tawny port, dry fino sherry, bourbon, Kingston 62 Jamaica gold rum, Japanese plum wine, Sauvignon blanc, Malbec, and from the fridge, Fever Tree tonic water and vegan heavy cream.
Any bitters?
Alas, no. When we're in the city, we're a block from Amor y Amargo, which sells an amazing variety of excellent bitters.
Bourbon, ice, ginger ale if you've got it. Leave the rest in the cabinet for now.
I never drink more than a sip of bourbon, unless it's truly great. Meccalopolis drinks it straight, while I have port or sherry when we return from our radio show Saturday nights. No ginger ale here, just ginger. There's a bottle of Prosecco waiting in the fridge for a very special occasion.
😳
I want to see how the heavy cream factors in, and especially how it doesn't curdle. Does vegan cream curdle?
All I've got is Steel Reserve, 8.0% Pilsner.
I don't think you're making a cocktail outta that.
Boilermakers are in fashion. And there’s always the Spaghett.
Throw in a splash of Coke and two limes and you've just invented a MilwaukieLibre.
The Coke part is scaring me a little.
I get that, but authenticity demands it.
Like all good people I have grappa, chianti, and limoncello.
Nope, nope and nope.
I have a bottle of Raki, but while I love the smell the taste is a bit harsh so I've been using it for cooking. Almost gone at this point.
Grazie.
Question, is there such thing as an "Aunt Sandy shot of vodka?". Asking for a friend:https://www.youtube.com/shorts/JPjc1Bg6Fz8
Olive oil, buffalo sauce, and orange juice.
Look, if you'd rather make ice cream, just say so, a'ight?
wolfschmidt vodka + ranch dressing
Kombucha, José Cuervo, and that fancy lime juice that comes in a little plastic lime.
Needz moar toothpaste!
lol
An Immodium spritz may help with this one too.
Planteray 3 Star, E&J V.S., Jameson Triple Distilled, and Mr. Black Coffee Liqueur.
Nary a drop, but there's energy drinks, coffee, and sweet tea.
Yawn 🥱
I done did my drinkin, now it's caffeine that clutches my soul in its heartless grasp.
So, is everybody looking forward to reading Mitch's O-BITCH-uary at two minutes after midnight, August 4?
Honestly, these people have absolutely no goddamn shame any more.
He will just resign. He's not yet dead.
(Cue chorus)
Sooooo.
There is this hunter. He is walking through a field and a pheasant flutters in front of his face and flies straight up and over him. He pulls the trigger and hits it. One in a million shot.
So he goes and reaches to grab it
"HEY fella, what you dooin'"
"Well, I just shot this pheasant. Im takin it home to cook it up"
"No sir, see that bird fell on my property. Its mine so make haste"
The hunter explained that the bird wouldn't have fallen on the property save for his marksmanship and therefore his.
The debate came to an impasse. Finally the property owner said "let us settle this once and for all. You squat down and I will kick you in the crotch as hard as I can. I will do the same. Whom ever gives up first leaves the bird"
"Fair enough" the hunter squatted down ant the farmer took 3 big strides and kicked him in the naughty bits.
The hunter withered and rolled around in pain for a good 3 or 4 minutes.
"All right my turn"
The farmer squatted down. The hunter took a few steps back and just before the hunter was ready to lay in on his swim suit area the Farmer jumped up and "keep the fuckin' bird. I raise chickens"
*rim shot*
(Its not a good joke. But has Baconzgood ever promised a good joke?)
I have a relative who has raised pheasants for release through Pheasants Forever. He might appreciate this.
Over a pheasant?
Taking these to work this morning (just got done frosting them). Not my best work - but “done” is better than “good”
https://substack.com/@paxpax/note/c-306070520?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=3ixr3
They are BEAUTIFUL! As someone who tied decorating cakes/cupcakes for a retirement hobby, I can say with certainty that doing all those little frosting dollops is harder than it looks. Hard on the hands, squeezing that bag, and if the frosting gets warmer from the body heat, the dollops aren't as crisp. You did well, pax! Hope your work folks enjoy them!
Trump's rambling speech sees aides 'rush reporters out' over fears 'something's wrong'
Donald Trump's aides seemingly "hurried the press" out of the Oval Office following a speech that sparked concerns that "something was wrong". Donald Trump addressed reporters on a variety of topics at the White House yesterday (July 30), including the conflict in Iran, his recent meeting with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, and his desire to "end the war" in Ukraine.
However, things took an odd turn when the US President shifted focus to more local matters. He rambled about his team "changing all the grass in all the parks" before, oddly stating that grass is akin to "human beings".
This prompted what one critic described as an urgent scramble to get those present the "hell out of there". It comes just days after Trump was accused of having an unfortunate 'pooing' incident during a funeral of his friend.
Speaking on his YouTube channel, The David Pakman Show, he later noted: "As it became clear to the aides in the room that Donald Trump was starting to decompensate, and he simply couldn't do it anymore, the bevvy of aides who mostly have the same look, I don't know if like, am I not supposed to notice that the aides have a very similar look? They just rush reporters out of the room."
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/us-news/trumps-rambling-speech-sees-aides-37500952
# Best brain # 25th Amendment
Sundowners gonna sundown.
This really is nothing new--the creature is, and always has been an infantile moron with the attention span of a housefly. That the flunkyfuhreren appear to feel the need to paper it over at all is noteworthy, I s'pose.
After he is finally returned to dust, we're going to discover that Trump, his family, and his defenders are a hundred times more corrupt, stupid, and morally and sexually depraved than we ever thought they were.
Okay, but no seriously this needs to be brought to a screeching halt. There's intentional ignorance complicity and then there's actively trying to conceal how far he's declined.
Ever notice all the aides have the KKKaroline Leavitt look?
Stepford Aides.
If you step back and look at things from a certain remove, you will realize the worst atrocities America could ever commit would have to have been voted for . . .
Off to run errands, but...
"I love this photo from my collection that was correctly framed to cut off people's heads, but catch the photobombing cat."
https://bsky.app/profile/catsofyore.bsky.social/post/3mrq6cwlddk2s
As seen just now in the "Popular Today" feed, a USA Today article titled "Independent voters in 3 key states reveal what moves needle for them."
Yeah, I could read that. Alternatively, I could run full speed head-first into the brick wall of my garage over and over until the Sandman comes.
I've noticed an a couple spots the MSM is trying to get "independent voters" as a shibboleth AGAIN.
it sounds like they're jumping The Onion's gig
Pretty much
https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:ncyjeks5r5pjxm5xi2fasp3w/bafkreiahuhnr3r4rwfi4b7loyqogxmdzuyj2r5o4hm3ksuyzgrcm4odtmi
Closer to $6 here.
Am I the only one thinking, "Just wait until it runs out..."?
I don't think you are. I really miss having competent people in the White House.
It's hard when you have no hope for anything to get better with criminal idiots running the asylum
"Penetrating eye injury at premises licensed to sell alcohol beverages for consumption on said premises, Time in, 7:05..."
The licenced premises unlocked its doors at seven AM...
The sum total energy of the universe hasn't changed, if the physics persons and their conservation principles are correct, but with entropy and time, temperature differences, the gradients will vanish and that energy required for physical work becomes unaccessible...
Stupidity will be completely unaffected and will run even more rampant than now, and we'll all be too damn entropic to stop it...
The Cat Distribution System in action:
https://bsky.app/profile/democratcats.bsky.social/post/3mrzlv77w4k2a (sound up)
"I don't know what I am going to do with him..." LOL, you pick him/her up at take them home. THAT is what you do and for god's sake do NOT give them milk!!!!!
TACO is going with the Ray Kinsella diplomacy.
*in a whispered voice only TACO can hear*
"If You ask Iran they will surrender"
(Ok Baconz admits that was a obscure reference but im going to a ballgame today)
"UEFA says it has lost confidence in FIFA President Gianni Infantino and that “no option should be off the table” as it will pursue a full review of his now abandoned plan to sell stakes of the World Cup to private equity investors."
When WHEN will they learn? He turns to shit anything, and everyone he touches.
I still laugh at when I first saw a photo of Fatberg and some other guy harassing the winning team on stage and caption mentioned Infantino, I thought they were making fun of Fatberg.
Turns out there's a limit to even the flagrant corruption of FIFA that's considered acceptable?
Garage Sale, eh Hoop?
*Puts sign on boulevard*
My Name Is Inigo Montoya
Garage Sale Today at 245 Center Street W
PREPARE TO BUY!
It just hit baconz like an epiphany. As if God himself gave me a solution for this mid east crisis.
Now hear me out. This is kind of a radical idea but it will work.
So Trump gives a international press conference with a map of Iran and the Hormuz Strait. Are you following me so far?
Then in a stroke of genius he pulls out a Sharpie marker, circles them both and confidently says "thats where Hurricane Dorian will hit.
Man he should hire me as a consultant. I would be the smartest mostest beautiful adviser with the biggest hands he ever had.
(TL;DR?)
See, I wonder if when Trump suddenly drops from a massive brain aneurysm, how about we just send Iran a little note suggesting we all just pretend the last ~12 months didn't happen?
No way are they that dumb, we've lost control (as much as we ever had it) over the Gulf and that's not coming back. Probably ever.
12 Months? I'd call for a do over from 2017 onward.
Jared will get a couple of condos out of it . . .
You had me at stroke.
𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘌𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘷𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘤 𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘳𝘶𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴; 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴. 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.
𝗨𝗦 [𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁] 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝘀 𝗔𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗻𝘀: 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗼 𝗗𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘁
https://www.joemygod.com/2026/08/us-warns-americans-prepare-to-depart-middle-east/
We still haven't evacuated americans on the area?
Did they buy a Trump Gold Card?
There's only evacuation flights* for Trump Gold Members.
*Flights not guaranteed, nothing has been booked, maybe a US airline will realize the big beautiful things that will happen if they go and pickup all those people?
I find this really scary. The stupidest people on the planet are in charge and nothing good is coming from it.
But nothing bad can happen. Only good can happen. Our beloved, definitely not an orange moron of a president said so. /s
Whoah, whoah whoah, wait a minute. Americans traveling in the Middle East might be inconvenienced?
This shall not stand!
SELF-DEPORT!