Save the "Suze Canal" for a different global crisis. I was teaching synthetic cubism to my Art History class and showed them Picasso's "Bottle of Suze." I knew it was an aperitif, but I've never had it. The bits of newspaper he used for the collage alternate between stories of the first Balkan war and fluff pieces about Paris life and leisure.
I happened to stop by Total Wine this afternoon, and sampled a couple of Barr Hill gins, which are made with honey. The regular version was interesting, but they have a Tom Cat Barrel Aged Gin that was very different. Almost the color of cognac, and definitely a strong oak smell on the nose. The taste reminded me of mulling spices, like sitting in front of a fireplace on Christmas.
I haven’t had the Tom Cat Barrel Aged but oddly enough, I’ve drunk a lot of Barr Hill gin in martinis at a steakhouse and a hotel bar in Denver. Good stuff.
I can’t see this as a dirty martini. When I say that it tastes like oak and mulling spices, I mean it - might be great as a component in a winter cocktail.
Possibly? I’m not generally a fan of brown spirits, but this would definitely be on the lighter side of that, but still complex. A very different gin, for sure.
Oh, this wasn't strong tea or anything. You really needed only a few small pieces to make a cup of that horrific concoction. Not enough thujone to kill you and there's no way you'd do it voluntarily if you didn't need it.
Refrigerating vermouth is new to me. Because of miscalculations (do we need vermouth?) and gifts I have too much sweet vermouth. Like, way too much. What's the best way to get rid of it?
This guy, big game hunter and millionaire Ernie Dosio, was trampled to death by group of five female elephants with a calf that he came upon.. I'm currently writing a check to the World Wildlife Fund.
"NASA scientist says a mysterious 'fifth force' may be hiding in our solar system"
Scientists are grappling with a cosmic mystery: why does the Universe behave differently on massive scales compared to our own solar system? While distant galaxies reveal clear signs of something bending the rules of gravity — often attributed to dark energy or a hidden “fifth force” — everything nearby seems to follow Einstein’s playbook perfectly.
Shorter: Dark energy, which is more undetectable than dark matter, which is undetectable, does seem to exist in our solar system. But, you may scream into the abyss, our solar system is 10 billion miles wide, say 50 billion if we include the Oort Cloud.
You're thinking about it wrong. The cosmos is like Atlantis, which is comprised of all the oceans from bottom to top, and all the countries. Except Liechtenstein. Now, think of the smallest village in Liechtenstein, which is Planken at 473 peak tourist season (not to be confused with the Planck Length, which is the shortest length that can be measured). Now think of the smallest pub in Planken, where only the bartender drinks. WE ARE THAT PUB. Thus, it should come as no surprise that the universe has overlooked us for the things all the cool kids have. We're lucky to have gravity.
Anyway, the story says dark energy is there in our solar system, but we can't see it. Sort of like Oakland, Calif.
Those old-time hockey goalie masks -- think the "Halloween" baddie -- didn't protect the goalie's noggin for shit. If he caught a puck full in the face, the mask would prevent his skin from getting sliced open, but that's it -- he'd still be lucky to escape with a concussion. Modern grille masks are much better; guys get pucks bounced off their heads all the time, with no more effect than if it had hit their blocker.
But one thing you never saw with those old masks was the kind of goal that poor Carter Hart just allowed for the Golden Knights. The puck hit his mask, bounced nearly straight down, glanced off the inside of his pad and into the goal.
It's stunning to see just how fucked up "Christian" fucknuts can be:
"While some might pray for hope or peace in such dark times, others are praying for the death of Texas Democrat James Talarico, who is running for the U.S. Senate. During a recent episode of the right-wing Protestant podcast Reformation Red Pill, host Joshua Haymes told the pastor Brooks Potteiger that he prays that “God kills” Talarico, given that the politician seems to be possessed by demons. Potteiger agreed, offering that Talarico should be “crucified with Christ.”"
Ended up with a drill attached to my head today. Handy scissors at the work bench freed me. Pony tail got fed into the vent, wrapped around the armature and all work stopped. Have to watch out for that I guess.
I did that! I think it was a sander. My toddler daughter sat beside me and patted my arm while I waited for my neighbor to drive the three miles over, who came so close to laughing, but did not. She carefully unwound me.
I also did something similar with a power snake. That was easier to untangle, and did not require assistance. No scissors, if I recall.
I bought Mrs. Ciaobella tickets for Jesus Christ Superstar for Mother's Day and now she's playing the soundtrack on constant repeat on the stereo, and singing along. What have I done.
The road show of the Broadway Rock Opera version came to my town in 1972 when I was 16, and I really REALLY wanted to go, but my mother said "No" because the Pope said it was blasphemous (I bet you $1 he never even listened to it), so I got my father to talk her around, and I went with a friend. My mother was right to be concerned, because I walked out of that theater a different person than the one walked in.
The Seattle production that we're seeing features Molly Sides as Mary Magdalene, from the Seattle rock band Thunderpussy. It was amusing to hear the radio ads saying "featuring Molly Sides from Thunderpussy!"
Reading about all these people feeling betrayed by Trump because they fell for it, I’m having New York childhood memories of knowing Trump was a piece of shit when I was ten
I remember once upon a time when I didn't even think about Trump except like once a year or so when he would show up in a cameo in Home Alone 2 or something and I would think, "Oh yeah, it's that guy. Fuck that guy."
I knew Trump was a rancid dog turd back in the early 80s.
When I moved to Phoenix in the 90s, I would drive past a Trump hotel at Metro Center and say "EWWWW!" and flip my finger at it. The Metro Center mall has been torn down several months ago.
Well, time to take some anti-inflammatories, head back to bed, and rest this goddamn lower back. Here's a great live version of The Return of the Giant Hogweed, featuring the classic Genesis lineup Peter Gabriel, Mike Rutherford, Tony Banks, Phil Collins, and Steve Hackett.
They are immune to all out herbicidal batterings, yo.
Working questions here.
I used to make something akin to this with some Dry Vermouth, a table spoon of tang, and a solid pour of Alexi Vodka!
What’s the frequency, Kenneth?
Butterfly decal. Rearview mirror. Dogging the scene.
Hm. Do I want a working question, or one that gets the job done?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMAST0hMitw
Ever tried to make any white port based spritz style cocktails?
I do love an aperol spritz. This sounds delightful.
Every time I see the term "Aperol Spritz," I read it as "Aerosol Spritz."
Is it just me?
Not just you
Aerosol Spitz (spray-on dog)
Could be worse. Anyone care for an Asshole Spritz?
I bet that's what Kegsbreath's body spray smells like
You know he's just Axed to the max.
Save the "Suze Canal" for a different global crisis. I was teaching synthetic cubism to my Art History class and showed them Picasso's "Bottle of Suze." I knew it was an aperitif, but I've never had it. The bits of newspaper he used for the collage alternate between stories of the first Balkan war and fluff pieces about Paris life and leisure.
“Synthetic cubism.” I’m just processing that.
I happened to stop by Total Wine this afternoon, and sampled a couple of Barr Hill gins, which are made with honey. The regular version was interesting, but they have a Tom Cat Barrel Aged Gin that was very different. Almost the color of cognac, and definitely a strong oak smell on the nose. The taste reminded me of mulling spices, like sitting in front of a fireplace on Christmas.
Have you ever tried this?
I haven’t had the Tom Cat Barrel Aged but oddly enough, I’ve drunk a lot of Barr Hill gin in martinis at a steakhouse and a hotel bar in Denver. Good stuff.
Not that one, but I’ve tried barrel aged gin. Interesting, but not a huge fan. Makes a great dirty martini.
Does it make a good Martian, though?
Martians are NOT dirty. That's just speciesist. Or something.
I can’t see this as a dirty martini. When I say that it tastes like oak and mulling spices, I mean it - might be great as a component in a winter cocktail.
Would go great with cranberry.
Cranberry and/or apple, I think.
I’m so far away from winter, tho.
That does sound like a nice winter cocktail 🍸
Goodness
I have a friend who likes spirits
We go to wine festivals and I try the wine & he tries the spirits, lol
Do you think that might be something someone who's more of a "scotch" person might appreciate?
Possibly? I’m not generally a fan of brown spirits, but this would definitely be on the lighter side of that, but still complex. A very different gin, for sure.
Hey Hooper, what are we supposed to do with the other half ounce of Aperol? The blog post doesn't say.
Fixed.
now I have to read the recipe again
lol
Hand it over to the Sov bloc agents.
Dead drop still in the hollow tree at the edge of town.
My grandma would make you a Wermut-tea for stomach aches. That stuff is truly vile when it's not balanced with something else.
Ah, but did it cure the stomach ache? If so, it did it's job. No one said the cure had to taste of sherbert.
There's bitter and vile, and then there's straight Wormwood. *If* you were able to keep it down, it would settle your stomach, though.
I thought straight wormwood killed people ...?
Oh, this wasn't strong tea or anything. You really needed only a few small pieces to make a cup of that horrific concoction. Not enough thujone to kill you and there's no way you'd do it voluntarily if you didn't need it.
I just love how you are very explicit in your instructions to "close each bottle of alcohol"
😄😄
Does that imply a story you haven't told us yet about what happened once when one of them was kept open ...?
I am sometimes tempted to just stick a straw in the vodka bottle...maybe I'm not alone!
Eh. Why not. Just be sure you have a recovery kit on hand.
Best if ya' have an adult-sized crazy straw.
Uh huh
No judgment
Especially not right now
I was treated to a wonderful dinner last night with the ladies that I cat/house-sit for.
One of them had this:
ISOLA BIANCA
Gin Mare Capri, Malfy Limone, Gewürztraminer Grappa, Corsican Aperitif Wine, Acqua di Cedro, Cucumber Bitters (Coastal, bright, and spirit–forward )
We LOL'd. I said, 'this bartender from the 80's, 90's, and into the 00's can't identify a single ingredient in that drink.
Cheers, Mr. Hooper.
Gewurzt grappa sounds terribly sweet.
I would have made them say Gewürztraminer. A lot.
I I love saying Gewurtztraminer. Or, if you’re in the know, just “Gewurzt.” Guh-vertz.
Yup that’s the only one that rolled right off my tongue, memories of Vienna …
Refrigerating vermouth is new to me. Because of miscalculations (do we need vermouth?) and gifts I have too much sweet vermouth. Like, way too much. What's the best way to get rid of it?
Mirror martini. Vermouth with a dash of gin. Stirred with ice, not shaken. Add an orange slice and cloves. Serve in a wide, shallow, chilled glass.*
* I’m sure someone would drink this.
I had an Italian boss would serve it over ice with a twist. Interesting for a beer drinker me.
Yes. I’ve had it on the rocks to use it up. I’m too cheap to pour it out.
I wouldn't pour it out. All potables are precious.
Especially now!
I use it in a bechamel sometimes. Doesn't use much, though.
Oooo that sounds tasty
It is! The original recipe called for dry white wine, but one time all we had was dry vermouth, so I improvised, and saw that it was good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAXzzHM8zLw
Your sink is right there.
Has it been opened?
Most haven't. I think I'm at 4 bottles of various sizes
I love that you specified both opening and closing the bottle. Just like opening and closing a certain Strait...
Works best with nonblockaded bottles.
That was a great touch!
Took me a minute to get it. While my dinner was cooking, I dozed off on the couch. Guess I've got a touch of brain fog.
No need to apologize for post-nap fog.
Me too!
This guy, big game hunter and millionaire Ernie Dosio, was trampled to death by group of five female elephants with a calf that he came upon.. I'm currently writing a check to the World Wildlife Fund.
https://crooksandliars.com/files/imagecache/full_800/primary_image/26/04/mixcollage-24-apr-2026-02-50-pm-6747.jpg
Yay, ladyphants!
"NASA scientist says a mysterious 'fifth force' may be hiding in our solar system"
Scientists are grappling with a cosmic mystery: why does the Universe behave differently on massive scales compared to our own solar system? While distant galaxies reveal clear signs of something bending the rules of gravity — often attributed to dark energy or a hidden “fifth force” — everything nearby seems to follow Einstein’s playbook perfectly.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/04/260423031528.htm
Shorter: Dark energy, which is more undetectable than dark matter, which is undetectable, does seem to exist in our solar system. But, you may scream into the abyss, our solar system is 10 billion miles wide, say 50 billion if we include the Oort Cloud.
You're thinking about it wrong. The cosmos is like Atlantis, which is comprised of all the oceans from bottom to top, and all the countries. Except Liechtenstein. Now, think of the smallest village in Liechtenstein, which is Planken at 473 peak tourist season (not to be confused with the Planck Length, which is the shortest length that can be measured). Now think of the smallest pub in Planken, where only the bartender drinks. WE ARE THAT PUB. Thus, it should come as no surprise that the universe has overlooked us for the things all the cool kids have. We're lucky to have gravity.
Anyway, the story says dark energy is there in our solar system, but we can't see it. Sort of like Oakland, Calif.
Hegseth says ‘The time for free riding is over’ to US Allies. 👹🧌 Hegseth👹🧌 forgets all the nations that came to our aid after 9/11.
He’s such a little boy.
He won’t even say thank you
*unmoderated* Friday @ Wonkzoom.com
Those old-time hockey goalie masks -- think the "Halloween" baddie -- didn't protect the goalie's noggin for shit. If he caught a puck full in the face, the mask would prevent his skin from getting sliced open, but that's it -- he'd still be lucky to escape with a concussion. Modern grille masks are much better; guys get pucks bounced off their heads all the time, with no more effect than if it had hit their blocker.
But one thing you never saw with those old masks was the kind of goal that poor Carter Hart just allowed for the Golden Knights. The puck hit his mask, bounced nearly straight down, glanced off the inside of his pad and into the goal.
It's stunning to see just how fucked up "Christian" fucknuts can be:
"While some might pray for hope or peace in such dark times, others are praying for the death of Texas Democrat James Talarico, who is running for the U.S. Senate. During a recent episode of the right-wing Protestant podcast Reformation Red Pill, host Joshua Haymes told the pastor Brooks Potteiger that he prays that “God kills” Talarico, given that the politician seems to be possessed by demons. Potteiger agreed, offering that Talarico should be “crucified with Christ.”"
--The Atlantic
Hmm. Looked up where Joshua Haymes lives right now. Says he's in Nashville.
Calling the Nashville PD right now...
They're defective and should be recalled by their manufacturer.
They didn't read the Jesus instruction book. And it's available in every language.
Real Doctor Explains Why the 25th Amendment Won’t Remove Trump (unless one thing happens)
The United Front Show (13:40) : https://youtu.be/auw9fSV-nm0
Ended up with a drill attached to my head today. Handy scissors at the work bench freed me. Pony tail got fed into the vent, wrapped around the armature and all work stopped. Have to watch out for that I guess.
https://substack.com/@pageturner455122?utm_source=user-menu
Oh my god Page, that's horrifying. I'm go glad you're OK.
Thanks! Me too. Shit happens quick.
Jeeze Loueeze, that must have been scary.
Once a band saw cut a loose sleeve off me in about .0012 seconds.
I banged the red OFF button and just sat down until I stopped shaking.
Yoikes!
I did that! I think it was a sander. My toddler daughter sat beside me and patted my arm while I waited for my neighbor to drive the three miles over, who came so close to laughing, but did not. She carefully unwound me.
I also did something similar with a power snake. That was easier to untangle, and did not require assistance. No scissors, if I recall.
Talk about a slow learner.
Your neighbor is a saint.
I was crying, but also laughing, because that thing was perched on the side of my head like a hair bow.
Holy crap!
OSHA on line two.
OSHA has seen some shit, maaaaan.
Bus bench lawyer on line one.
Dont tell Nodak…
Odd, that.
It was an new one.
new ponytail or new drill?
Oh, good lord!
[Silly voice]
Was that supposed to happen?
[/Silly voice]
Maybe in God's plan? Not mine.
Damn!
More like: mother fucker.
Ouch!
Yes, actually.
I bought Mrs. Ciaobella tickets for Jesus Christ Superstar for Mother's Day and now she's playing the soundtrack on constant repeat on the stereo, and singing along. What have I done.
The road show of the Broadway Rock Opera version came to my town in 1972 when I was 16, and I really REALLY wanted to go, but my mother said "No" because the Pope said it was blasphemous (I bet you $1 he never even listened to it), so I got my father to talk her around, and I went with a friend. My mother was right to be concerned, because I walked out of that theater a different person than the one walked in.
The Seattle production that we're seeing features Molly Sides as Mary Magdalene, from the Seattle rock band Thunderpussy. It was amusing to hear the radio ads saying "featuring Molly Sides from Thunderpussy!"
As the prophet foretold.
Who are you, what do you think you are?
Tell ZW you want it for movie night.
I'll lobby for it. Ziggy, are you listening?
Ha ha ha, I made my ex-husband watch it before we saw the 50th Anniversary Tour and he watched in 7 times in a row.
The Senate is Hotel California, isn't it ? . . .
Lots of pretty, pretty boys she calls "friends"? EDIT: wait, no: Mirrors on the ceiling, sweet champagne on ice. That's way better!
Pretty much. We need to call the Orkin Man to make them leave horizontally.
Do we know that DiFi ever actually left?
I'm sure her braindead spirit continues to haunt the hallways.
Capitol Hill, the WH, Foggy Bottom...we need some nuclear powered sage to get rid of all the bad juju that's collected.
LF is working on advanced sage enrichment technologies at this very moment. (Between naps, of course.)
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!az5A!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fmedia_upload%2Fcomment%2Fe5b610a4-c88d-4b76-8504-15171aebf0f1%2Fb945c604-7d37-4f01-b30a-c2c98071db4b.jpeg
Luke Steuber
@lukesteuber.com
· 5h
Reading about all these people feeling betrayed by Trump because they fell for it, I’m having New York childhood memories of knowing Trump was a piece of shit when I was ten
But will they still vote Republican?
Silly question; OF COURSE they will.
I remember once upon a time when I didn't even think about Trump except like once a year or so when he would show up in a cameo in Home Alone 2 or something and I would think, "Oh yeah, it's that guy. Fuck that guy."
Oh, those were the days.
I knew Trump was a rancid dog turd back in the early 80s.
When I moved to Phoenix in the 90s, I would drive past a Trump hotel at Metro Center and say "EWWWW!" and flip my finger at it. The Metro Center mall has been torn down several months ago.
Metro Center mall was really a dump before it got razed.
https://www.kjzz.org/business/2025-09-25/demo-of-phoenixs-metrocenter-mall-is-finally-done-see-what-the-the-metropolitan-will-look-like
BWAHAHAHA!
*gasp, giggle*
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1D24af3m7a/
Some of the comments are pretty clever too!
(continues chuckling)
With great interest Simba is listening to a video on how Ukraine has learned to kick Russia's butt.
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-due!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fmedia_upload%2Fcomment%2Fdc78a66a-ee40-49a9-8885-a190aa129e13%2F7976b2e7-1d44-45bb-ba1b-a2bc99efaed1.jpeg
<<<<<<<<<<<--------------------------------------------------->>>>>>>>>>>>
Ukraine Unleashes the BIGGEST FIRESTORM Russia Can’t Put Out | Ben Hodges
Ben Hodges Updates (24:41) : https://youtu.be/9zqmVy9_3Ao
Well, time to take some anti-inflammatories, head back to bed, and rest this goddamn lower back. Here's a great live version of The Return of the Giant Hogweed, featuring the classic Genesis lineup Peter Gabriel, Mike Rutherford, Tony Banks, Phil Collins, and Steve Hackett.
They are immune to all out herbicidal batterings, yo.
https://youtu.be/WjPS3mqz_Y0
Heracleum mantegazzianum!
Hahahahahaaaaaa!
Lincoln was pretty snarky.
When he said about his first War Secratery. "...The only thing he wont steal is a red hot stove".
LMAO!!!!!!
LINCOLN WAS A NERD!!!!!!!! HE HAD GORILLA ARMS. HE'S GOT LIKE APE AWKWARD ARMS! THIS GUY.......!!!!!!!!!
"If General McClellan does not want to use the Army, I would like to borrow it for a time"
Ouch!!!
Snarky Mother Fucker!