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Matthew Hooper's avatar

I have the night off. I'm taking my wife to an early Valentine's Day dinner, because.. well, I'll explain next week. Questions here.

ritingon's avatar

So... is Laphroaig still too much on this one?

I haven't been a drinker in a damn long time, but it's always scotch I miss, and whenever I take a longing look Laphroaig (my old standby) is cheaper than Ardbeg (which is also quite good, mind).

Tessie's avatar

To any who may be contemplating this: Do not go to Valentine's Day dinner on February 14th. You will wait forever to be seated in a crowded restaurant that tuns out to be out of everything good.

Wayne Allen's avatar

I am being subjected to this for the first time in years. Mrs. Allen was informed that if she was subjecting me to a "traditional" Valentine's Day dinner at a restaurant there better be some "traditional" trashy lingerie to follow.

Zyxomma's avatar

No need to explain. Everyone who has ever worked in the restaurant or related business knows that Hell Night is Valentine's Day, along with Mothers' Day. Ridiculously busy kitchen, fussy customers who are at the same time lousy tippers. You're better off.

kmblue187's avatar

Waited tables to pay for college. I sometimes dream about the horror, and to this day I am a big tipper and not only in restaurants.

MRobtheMathSnob's avatar

First things first: Your likes were at 67, which I'm happy to have ruined on behalf of all of the teachers out there who are still dealing with that damn meme.

Second: If you were going to substitute a different alcohol for the Johnny Walker, what would you suggest? Whisky and I do not get along thanks to overindulging once upon a time.

Edited to add: Holy cow, the post happy hour typos were something. In my defense, we had a lot of school gossip to catch up on.

Tessie's avatar

Yeah, but now his likes are at 69, which is way better.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

CAN I GET A DEPTH CHARGE OF MIDORI IN A SCHOONER OF MICHELOB ULTRA? I CAN LICK ANY MAN IN THE HOUSE!

Parakeetist's avatar

Um, not to kink-shame, but should you be doing that in public?

Tessie's avatar

Kink shame nothing; I'm shaming his choice of Michelob Ultra.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Why are the “hearts” we use on Valentine’s Day shaped more like prostates than actual hearts?

Wayne Allen's avatar

Recently I've been getting FB ads for "anatomically correct" heart jewelry. It's... interesting.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

According to one theory, they're supposed to approximate, in upside-down form, the buttocks of an attractive woman. Not sure if I buy that one.

Free beach's avatar

I’ll allow that.

G-7 in Space's avatar

Yum...thanks , Hoop!

J.M. Austin's avatar

Ooooh something else to do with lemon curd. I like to fold it into (shades of Moira Rose) whipped cream and use it to make icebox cake with thin ginger cookies. But this gives me something to wash that down with. :-)

Comment removed
Feb 6
Matthew Hooper's avatar

…um, it’s a cocktail.

"M"'s avatar

I think that's a bot , sir

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

Well, bless you for the wife thing. However, we came home from the coldest, windiest street corner protest yet, up here in Cheboygan, MI! We went to the Hive, where they heated up some Black Madonna Mead for me (no one else likes this hot!), and, after taking the Toomush son to Walmart, finally got home through the wind and slippery roads. I quickly made a Mount Gay and ice, and lit up a pipe. Now, for some reheated Olympic Opening Ceremonies. So far, I'm not impressed. But Skol on the Valentine's dinner! May there be many more. I hear the 14th is coming up...

kmblue187's avatar

The U.S. got cheered, JD Vance got booed, what more do you want?

Miss Grundy's avatar

I'm glad the athletes were cheered and very happy that the Couchfucker got the welcome he deserved.

"M"'s avatar

Always a relief to know that the world actually SEES us

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H58vbez_m4E

J.M. Austin's avatar

(Has mead, never heated it up, though. Hmmm.)

Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

I was at a winery I love that was sampling out mead they were flirting with. The staff, upon seeing my Winnie the Pooh backpack, declared the mead " Pooh Bear Top Shelf." I liked their mead and was gifted a few bottles.

Unfortunately I was one of the few because they did not continue their experiment.

"M"'s avatar

Shame

Sounds like that would have been lots of fun

Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

One of the staffers was working their way slowly through law school and ( it was a slow day and they were, um, sampling the merchandise as well) and thought since I was involved in the naming I could "sue" them for taking my idea, so it was decided I should be bought off with a few bottles. Especially since I was buying a case of various wines, including the mead so if they gave me free bottles I could buy extra to replace the mead....I was not driving and deep into a wine tour and it was a slow weekday for them, and it somehow made perfect sense.

Opalescent Riddles's avatar

Because you love each other, enjoy each other's company, and deserve nice things, it is hoped.

ciaobella's avatar

Because Valentine’s Day is hell for servers? I always tell my wife, please, please, let’s not go out for Valentine’s Day dinner, it’s like the worst possible day of the year to go out. I will boil live lobsters for you instead, ok?

That or Mother’s Day.

Also, avoid any Irish pub on Paddy’s Day.

Zyxomma's avatar

Should have scrolled down.

Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

To be clear, in case you can't tell from the name, I am female. One year a female friend who was visiting me from out of town and I decided to go out to dinner. We get to the restaurant and it is super crowded. There was quite a wait for a table. We're standing there wondering why on earth this middling chain restaurant (O.K., it was Applebys.) was so crowded on a random Tuesday night. Suddenly, we realized it was Valentine's Day. I said, "everybody probably thinks we're a couple". My friend said, "let them, who cares?" Of course, she was right. It didn't matter what other people thought. Not to mention that old saying about you wouldn't care so much about what other people thought about you if you realized how little they do.

Tessie's avatar

"in case you can't tell from the name, I am female."

`

Did the cat type this sentence? Because "Max" IS a gender-fluid name.

Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

But Liz is pretty definitely female. At least I've never seen a male with that name. And Max the No. 1 Cat unfortunately crossed the Rainbow Bridge in 2018. It's just that he'll always be my number one cat. Sweetest kitty I've ever had.

Tessie's avatar

"Liz is pretty definitely female"

And therefore, unambiguous -- so "in case you can't tell from the name" would logically refer to Max.

`

Sorry for your loss. We have too many coyotes around here to make cats (or for that matter dogs) a possibility.

J.M. Austin's avatar

I've never wanted to go out for dinner on Valentine's (and other holidays) for just this reason. Staying in is better and so many other days in the year to go out.

dave in texas's avatar

Or a Mexican joint on Cinco de Mayo.

Amateur night is what we always called New Year's Eve, St. Paddy's, and Cinco de Mayo.

Opalescent Riddles's avatar

Oh, that reminds me: stay out of hospitals in the US in July, particularly July 4 and the associated weekend. That's when the newly-hatched docs hit the floors.

Zyxomma's avatar

Unfortunately, Halloween has entered the chat.

Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

When I worked at the bookstore a million years ago we almost always went to various local dive bars for a drink on the closing shift.

And every year we collectively forgot why not to go out on the night before Thanksgiving.

tehbaddr's avatar

But the amateur drunken louts!

Reader's avatar

Have a sweet time with your wife. Maybe next week a hot drink that we can hold in our hands, for those of us who might have gotten frostbitten fingers at some point recently.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Frostbite will be the least of my worries next week.

Reader's avatar

Oh no! I hope it goes much better than your anticipation. Do we have another storm of the century coming? I've been avoiding the weather reports as best I can bc all it does is fill me with dread.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

I have high hopes. I'm flying to Tampa for an adventure.

calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

Hooper, here's a question for you, not about this drink, and you can answer in your own time. I have saved the syrup from a jar of Amareno cherries. Is there a drink that I can use cherry syrup in? I have tested it with OJ with the thought of making a "sunrise" mimosa, and that seemed to work. But I am interested in other options. Any thoughts?

Richard S's avatar

"Cocoanut Woman" - Harry Belafonte

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifIqn85gsio

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯' 𝘨𝘭𝘶𝘮

𝘐𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘮

𝘐𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘱𝘴𝘺, 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦

𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘨𝘺𝘱𝘴𝘺, 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦

𝘊𝘰𝘤𝘰 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘢 𝘪𝘳𝘰𝘯, 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦

𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦

SkeptiKC's avatar

Hemmingway would approve.

Baconzgood's avatar

Sheesh.

J. Edgar Hoover was contentious and a x-dresser, (according to alot of books) while denying the "Mafia" exists (ever been in Youngstown/Cleveland in the 60's? Or 90's? The "Mob" exists)

She hasn't have a right to yell at the legislature after 28 years.

She's a rookie.

Talk about biting more you can chew...

Who Am I's avatar

Ok. so here's a short story in the style of those old "JUST SO" stories (google it) to explain a certain Greek myth. btw i had ai write this and i'm not just saying that to troll the mob around here, you betcha

ok here we go

Two modern people are trapped in caveman times. one of them, a jerk, has a lighter. Jerk thinks he's going to be God / King around here by impressing cavepeople with his lighter. The jerk makes his play, brandishing his lighter in a grand display in front of a crowd of cavepeople. In the middle of this grand display the other person from modern times kicks the jerk in the nuts, steals the lighter from him, and tosses it to a caveman who immediately figures out how to use it because cavepeople weren't idiots—you're an idiot (and a jerk!) for thinking they were. Anyhoo. The crowd of cavepeople watching all this start worshipping the second guy.

And that is teh JUST SO story of Prometheus. Turns out it wasn't a myth, it was time travelers all along. btw Agatha All Along is a pretty good show. shit is trippy the way it plays with your sense of reality, like, AS the audience it plays with your sense of reality. you think you're watching one thing while in the background the subliminal time slices are rewiring your higher dimensional light crystals into a recursive fourth dimensional ai able to communicate with you via dreams, artistic compulsions, fears and desires; inscrutably modifying your behavioral patterns into a constant flow of coincidences and synchronicities. you wake up in the middle of the night, look in the mirror; a halo of rainbow glitter radiates from above. you turn around and there you are. you turn around again and there you are again again. you spin around and at every degree you see yourself. there's just you and a smeared reflection of yourself on the face of eternity. and you think to yourself. damn... this is a good tv show...

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Serendipity is sufficiently soothed from her bad dream to allow me to go chasing the remnants of mine from which I was abruptly awakened earlier. I have a favorite, no fail, go to sleep video by a smiley French man explaining 10 things he wished he’d known before he started oil painting, not that he has any regrets, he just wishes he’d known these things.

I don’t think I’ve made it past the first three things he wishes he had known, but I keep trying. Perhaps this time…

I leave this in your competent hands.

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Woah, that’s a little abrupt! How do you think the committees are gonna feel about just having this rush to judgment? Hmmm? Did you even think about their feelings?

Parakeetist's avatar

Hi, everybody.

Birb just woke up.

There is curling on now!

It's on the USA network, if you have that. Great Britain is now playing against the USA, in the women's game.

Go USA! But I like GB too. :)

The Wanderer's avatar

(changes channels to watch Shuffleboard . . . on Ice!)

The Wanderer's avatar

And the freestyle skiing segues to an exciting display of speed skating and kickboxing!

Mysterysurf's avatar

Wait, Winter Olympics kickboxing? Do the combatants wear ice skates? That would be intense.

The Wanderer's avatar

I borrowed that from Tom Servo. It was a host segment after a short titled 'Snow Thrills.'

Tecolote's avatar

JD Couchfucker has his Olympic moment:

"When Vice President JD Vance, sitting in the presidential suite, was shown on the video screen at San Siro, the cheers that showered U.S. athletes when they entered the stadium turned into jeers." --LA Times

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

The most unpopular president in history and he hasn't even served.

C&A Bongo Man's avatar

How awkward. You go for a break up meal with your paedophile financier best friend, and find he's invited a load of celebrities over, so you have to continue your friendship for several more years.

Mortifying.

======

Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor's last known face-to-face meeting with Jeffrey Epstein was in New York in December 2010.

According to Andrew's account in his BBC Newsnight interview, he went there to say a final farewell and to cease all connections with Epstein.

But emails released by the US Department for Justice provide more details of how, instead of a sombre goodbye, Andrew was the star guest at a lively gathering of celebrities at Epstein's multi-million Manhattan townhouse.

And instead of irrevocably cutting off ties to the sex offender, Andrew was in touch later that month to give seasons greetings to his "US family" and saying: "Looking forward to joining you all again soon."

....

Among the guests, according to the emails, were Woody Allen and his wife Soon-Yi, TV presenters Katie Couric and George Stephanopoulos, comedian Chelsea Handler and talk show host Charlie Rose.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4g0gpdk7q6o

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

The others I understand, but Chelsea? I'd like to hear her explanation.

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

Weill - September Song, performed by Dave Brubeck

https://youtu.be/8YzO5WWfQuE?si=X1hchffcLWsDsNh2

I want to learn this

Spleen Victoria's avatar

I was under the impression that in Philly they may get pummeled into wallpaper paste.

A gal can dream!

GrandParadeOfLifelessPackaging's avatar

So wouldn't all this be a lot easier if they located the warehouses next to high speed rail? Oh, wait, ....

Anarchy Pony's avatar

Make 'em suffer, Philly!

Tessie's avatar

"You're not in Minnesota NOW, Motherfucker!"

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Not for nothing, but I think PA is at the top of the list of states with unintentionally (maybe) funny place names.

Opalescent Riddles's avatar

In one hour I have driven through Blue Ball, Bird in Hand, Intercourse, and Paradise.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

Alright, you lil' guttersnipes, we're off to run errands, get groceries (including, apparently, looking for some weird bottle of rum Hubby is interested in), etc.

Y'all remember - there's more of us than of them.

"This is one reason I keep trying to remind people of the power that we have. That we have *always* had. Not because I’m in denial, but because I know history. I’m no sophisticated intellectual, but I do know we’re going to win even though the bad shit is really terrible right now."

https://bsky.app/profile/anildash.com/post/3me2wmbwvn22i

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Okay fine. You trot off with your rum running and have fun. We’ll just stay here sniping the gutters with the heat turned down, and the lights turned off. You mustn’t worry about US, you know.

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

I made the mistake of starting to watch an interview with a victim last night as I was falling asleep. I think it’s important that they be heard, but it was not a great winding down choice in videos. After 20 years, the incredible level of trauma present, even just talking about it was painful to watch.

And then promptly at 5 AM in the morning on a Saturday, serendipity who is now around 17 years old, woke up in the next room with a bad dream or sundowning. And now I am back in bed with her laying beside me in her favorite posture, cozied in between my body and my arm with her tail near my elbow and her chin on my fingers and her arms wrapped around my arm. If the chin scritching slows, she lets me know that it’s not OK.

I am yawn.

I had a visit earlier this week from someone who later told me that there was sickness going through her house, including Covid. I ended up catching a bug from her that looks like it was just a cold, thank goodness, also, dammit. But I am planning a very lazy Saturday. Did my grocery shopping yesterday, have some red beans and brown rice sprouted on the kitchen counter, ready for something delicious to be made out of them. Gotta check out the movieboss offering for today.

Happy Caturday, y’all.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

And now for something completely different, in honor of the Winter Olympics:

https://bsky.app/profile/philoof.bsky.social/post/3mea4eprt5c2t (sound DEFINITELY up)

The Wanderer's avatar

Technically yes, Socrates was offside.

C&A Bongo Man's avatar

That's why I always wear my "Marx Was Right About Everything" red cap.

The Wanderer's avatar

Karl and Freddy were THE premier comedy stand-up act of the 1880s.