2520 Comments
User's avatar
Matthew Hooper's avatar

Busy questions here

JCfromNC's avatar

Green Dragon Bar, huh? Any relation to the Red Dragon Inn?

https://slugfestgames.com/rdi-products/

(do you at least have a copy in your game library?)

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Philosophically speaking, I wonder if the Platonic Dimension of Perfect Forms contains a Malört Cocktail Form which is perfect in all ways. But the imperfect and corrupted Malört cocktails of our physical world have been corrupted and ruined by something that corrupts and ruins everything it touches. Could it have been conservatism, in general, that ruined Malört?

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Any bar where some of the patrons are wearing masks for hygiene's sake has to be............(what word am I looking for here?).........., OK I give up. But that place has to be something!

Shocktreatment's avatar

In 2020, my local was providing disposable masks and flexible straws. There's a single hole-punch still standing by, should needs require...

SAFETY!

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Considering the perverse mission of the competition: wouldn't lime juice from plastic bulbs be the first and last time lime juice from plastic bulbs be.....perversely.....correct?

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

But surely your effort at least received some sort of honorable mention or runners up standing? We want to know about the part where you represented.

satch's avatar

Why does Malort even exist? Don't we already have enough organic solvents?

Shocktreatment's avatar

I've heard that 𝘔𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘵 is short for 𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴. I don't think that is possible, as the taste makes one kinda forget that scent.

Cajun Kid's avatar

Not really a question, but an observation:

Malört: These pants won’t shit themselves!

theCryptofishist's avatar

Malort is a bad place in Alsace Lorraine.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

How can any place with a name as beautiful as 'Alsace Lorraine' have any bad places in it?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Skyline City Chili Malort cocktail.

Joe Schmoe, Troublemaker's avatar

Sorry, not a question.

I came for the board games and stayed for the Malört.

clairence's avatar

are busy questions like busy work? Do they carry the same weight? And just how strong are they, anyway?

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

I kind of think they’re the opposite. We are annoying them, and we should go away. Whereas busy work is happy and a bit relieved to see us wander by.

Three Raccoons In A Trenchcoat's avatar

Malőrt & surstrőmming duke it out Highlander-style, then fall in lust, spawn an abominable litter of offspring, and then Wes Craven makes it all into a movie.

Sister Artemis's avatar

I sense that this Cocktail Moment would provide a good opportunity to re-introduce the old Wonkette trope of taking a recipe offered in an official post (this is a mommy blog after all) and twisting it out of proportion with substitutions, THEN complain to the author that their recipe was bad.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

I eagerly await your atttempts to make Malort taste worse.

Sister Artemis's avatar

I think it all starts with aged hot dog water…

TakingAmes's avatar

I refused Malort at a dead man’s wake, I ain’t making that shit. I made tomato martini tonight. Muddle a few cherry tomatoes and a few basil leaves in your shaker. Add a pinch of kosher salt and a grind of black pepper. Add a quarter ounce of simple syrup, half an ounce of white balsamic vinegar. Ice in the shaker. Two ounces of gin. Shake the shit out of it. Strain well into chilled glass. I like a few drops of good olive oil on top but otherwise no garnish. I also only had regular balsamic vinegar so the color is … unfortunate. But it tastes like a caprese salad in a glass.

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

“I’m not drinking that shit. Bob was fine a week ago, and now he’s on his back in a box.”

Tessie's avatar

A few days ago, we were on one of our neighborhood walks. One of the houses we passed had a large-ish cardboard box on the fence, cut into strips to look like an old-timey jail cell. Inside were several of those green paperboard produce boxes, filled with different kinds of cherry tomatoes. The sign read, "FREE THE TOMATOES", so I took one of the boxes home.

They taste just like cherry tomatoes out of someone's garden.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Why don’t games sold at the Apple Store ever look like the ads they run on social media?

Shocktreatment's avatar

The fuckin' Rice Crispies don't really Snap, Crackle or Pop either. More of a crinkling paper sound.

Very disappointing

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Because Trump.

(The answer to any question where people ask why something sucks is always "Because Trump")

Bat In The Belfry's avatar

Just opened the link for that Trinidad Sour and not sure how I haven’t tried it before. I am a freak for Angostura. The “Angolada” at Trader Sam’s is my new Disneyland tradition. My question is whether there is a possible substitute for the orgeat?

ames's avatar

What is an Angolada? I also love Angostura!

Bat In The Belfry's avatar

It’s a lovely rum and angostura drink. I’m apparently too stupid to figure out how to attach pics here, but will keep working on it. There’s also a truly wonderful tiki bar in Grand Rapids, MI that has an Angostura Colada that’s even more bitters-forward.

ames's avatar

Oooo I'm going to have to buy the ingredients! That sounds wonderful.

Schmannity's avatar

QVC Host Declares On Air: ‘It Looks Like You Went And Got A Blowj*b’

"The host was walking viewers through the details of a hairstyle when the on-air blunder happened.

“I love to show the texture and this wave pattern,” she began.

“Again it looks like you went and got a blowjob — a blowout — at your salon,” the host said, without realizing the hilarious slip in the moment.

She attempted to get through the rest of her spiel, but broke out into laughter and had a tough time reining herself back in."

helenasgarden's avatar

I wish human friendships were like this.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

that doggo is lucky to still have eyeballs!

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

Musta done something halfway right.

True story: Spawn are ok edition.

So for various reasons that I shall not digress into, the spawn work for a directorate that is...we'll just say it could be run better. There are for sure reasons they have a problem with retention and it is not only because they pay shit (still under 20 despite Biden's EO, and Trump never repealing that. How can they get away with that, you ask? Flex. Flex is the devil. I digressed).

Anyway, they're always running short of labor, to the point that if any of their remaining people need a day for any reason, they're in serious trouble.

Enter the spawn. Both of them have really stepped up this week, volunteering for shifts, even stupid early 5 am ones, they had not been slated for, working 10 hours or more, that sort of thing. Youngest just came down to let me know he was heading in now, instead of 1, and he was also doing the 5 am tomorrow one. Gonna be a nice pay check I am sure, but he is doing it because he feels "bad they've got no help."

It's not a huge thing, but I don't think I could be prouder than my spawn giving up his weekend to help his coworkers out of a jam, not even in his department (though in his directorate).

Moral of the story: the kids are all right, or, I wish they'd let me run that joint, I sure would not buy a 18000 dollar machine without checking to see if the electricity could take it.

GiggleSnort's avatar

The New Yorker has a long thing about how Biden was trying to rein in Bibi, and in particular trying to keep him from doing war crimes. But: emphasis on "trying." Really, there was neither an effective carrot nor stick employed: Bibi did whatever the fuck he wanted. Bibi does not care in the least what his largest ally and arms supplier thinks: he only cares about domestic opinion in Israel. Under Biden, as with earlier Presidents, the U.S. kept supplying Israel with weapons (with a few minor exceptions) and restricting itself to expressing displeasure, mostly in private. This continued all through the massive military action in Gaza. Then, of course, Trump got into office again. Trump thinks war crimes are no biggie, and has no concern for Palestinians at all. All this is depressing. Of course, appeasing Bibi no matter what did not start with Biden, and where we are cannot be all laid at his door. But he wasn't able to turn it around. The political cost of doing so has always been too high.

Mighty Little Dog's avatar

This is a direct consequence of bipartisan consensus thar the relationship with Israel is sacrosanct and off the table politically.

Randy Bender's avatar

Biden and Garland completely failed us, and now we're all paying dearly and will for the rest of our lives.

Cheers Y'all's avatar

Sigh...as many of you know I am primary caretaker for my 97 yo mother. Six years now of not being able to work full time or travel too far away, etc. It's ok...I love her and when she's gone, I'll feel so alone family wise as my surviving sister and brother are not the world's best siblings.

Took mom to her weekly dinner last night with her bf of which I now attend to be extra eyes and ears. She wasn't feeling so good before or after dinner and I almost stayed with her at the Senior Living place last night, but she insisted she was ok and I went home. I tossed and turned most of the night last night.

Just made the daily check in call and she answered much to my relief. Says she ok.

It's inevitable she will pass in the not too distant future, but shit....it weighs so heavy on me no matter how hard I try to rationalize it all. We've been good buddies and there are ridiculous amounts of photos of us over the years with drinks in our hands, here, there, and everywhere.

Sigh...We laughed about her having to live long enough to vote in November, but this morning she was saying she's determined to stick around until my sister gets back from her trip to Iceland...on Tuesday. Pffffft....sister bitch, I'm turning down a trip to Greece in September because I just could not imagine being on the other side of the world when she does pass. Sister and I talked about my trip as I was not so sure about going and she said don't worry, if mom dies while you're gone we'll just "Mitch" her until you get back.

Ugh...

Sigh...

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

:hugs:

My mom and I were good buddies. Utterly understand

Spotts1701's avatar

The blog he wrote had been defunct for six years. He worked for the DOJ for the last five, and had been commended several times for his work.

"A federal prosecutor fired last year over critical comments he had written as a private citizen about President Donald Trump sued the Justice Department on Friday, saying his termination violated his First Amendment rights.

Will Rosenzweig was two weeks away from trying a multimillion-dollar Medicare fraud case when a blog he had written years earlier covering a broad range of topics was publicized online by a conservative political commentator who also included a screenshot of Rosenzweig’s LinkedIn account and tagged senior Justice Department officials for their awareness.

Less than three hours after the post, the lawsuit says, Rosenzweig received an email signed by then-Attorney General Pam Bondi informing him that he had been fired. The news came as Rosenzweig was out of town with his family observing the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashana.

[...]

'The Department’s conduct rests on a single premise: a citizen must forever refrain from criticizing the government and its leaders to remain eligible to serve it,' the lawsuit says. 'That rule would force every American who might one day serve to choose between speaking freely now and working for the government later. Conditioning public employment on political loyalty, where a party card rather than merit opens the door to a government job, is a way of life in Havana and Caracas. It has no place here.'"

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/federal-prosecutor-was-fired-years-old-blog-posts-critical-trump-sues-rcna591441

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

Will Rosenzweig was two weeks away from trying a multimillion-dollar Medicare fraud case

Why do I get the feeling that the "conservative politcal commentator" was scouring for ANY reason just to fuck with that case?

Randy Bender's avatar

Who wants to be the first to tell him...

Bradthe🤖's avatar

Hopefully the Judge won’t raise their hand, and justice will prevail.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Well, that got Topeka up and looking for the kittens!

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

"Those aren't *my* kittens! Must be somebody else!"

Randy Bender's avatar

Oredova and Missibamistan crack me up the most : )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What If The United States Collapsed Like The Soviet Union

https://brilliantmaps.com/us-ussr-collapse/

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

It can't be Floridastan.... it is already Dumbfuckistan....

Rosy red ASS's avatar

I don't think Arizona and Nevada would join California. Possibly Washington and Oregon but maybe not.

Resource NW's avatar

Arizona, Nevada and California would go to war over the Colorado River water. Who on which side would be the question.

Georgiaburning's avatar

Nevada would be split, but who knows with Arizona.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

If that happened British Columbia, north of the border, could join and a new nation, (Greenlandistan?) would emerge. They could then annex Alaska and invade Russia.

Randy Bender's avatar

Can you imagine our beleaguered Canadian and Mexican neighbors now having to deal with the governments of 15 or so new countries, and maybe four of those are relatively sane while the rest are totally psychotic?

They'd constantly be at war with neighboring states and each other.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Make the Articles of Confederation Great Again! MACGA!

Randy Bender's avatar

The map is only demonstrating population and GDP changes that would be similar to the crackup of the former USSR, rather than political alignments.

Otherwise, TexASS would be the first out the door.

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

I don't think Texas and the midwest would be joining the mid atlantic either

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

I've heard Kansas described as The Taint.

Tain't the midwest and tain't the south.

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

I always had a sneaking like for Kansas. Course I haven't been there in over 20 years now so it is probably not the same, but at that time it was just super chill and pretty in a flat and featureless way.

Natch I was not there during murder storm season

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Everyone disrespects us but it's still a pretty cool place.

Rosy red ASS's avatar

Yep. There is a lot that is wrong with that map.

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

I think the joke is more in the names and they tried to make it mirror the actual breakup of the ussr, like geographically

Calikraine is making me giggle some

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I like that the Deep South are the Stans.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

That’s my thought, I’m over sharing a country with a whole lot of those assholes.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

🎶Against the wind

I'm still running against the wind

I'm older now but still running against the wind 🎶

Trump is losing his war on wind power

A court rules that a hold on all wind projects clearly violates the law.

https://arstechnica.com/science/2026/08/trump-is-losing-his-war-on-wind-power/?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-us

helenasgarden's avatar

Bwahaha! See, cats do evolve in problem solving.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

LOL! I thought my cat was weird!

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

I mean, in my younger days, I was known to pitch a pup tent in the morning....

Spotts1701's avatar

So Senate Republicans installed Mad Lord Yam's consigliere as Attorney General in the dead of night, then split town for the next five weeks to hide from their constituents.

Totally normal...

R. Riddle's avatar

I wonder if Tillis suggested a middle of the night vote. It was a common tactic he and Phil Berger used when they led the NC GOP controlled gerrymandered House and Senate.

Schmannity's avatar

Ex-Miss North Carolina USA Brittany Boltinhouse believes she was stripped of title because of ‘political stance’

“I believe and think I was stripped from my title because of my political stance and my belief system as a conservative Christian woman,” Boltinhouse, 27, told the Carolina Journal in a new interview.

Throughout the interview, Boltinhouse emphasized that she is a proud member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and a “God-fearing woman” who prioritizes her faith, which she believes may have played a role in the conflict

Boltinhouse told the Journal that “all I can say is that I think and believe that my title was ripped from me because of my beliefs,

The controversy surrounding the former beauty queen arose when she allegedly used the N-word multiple times and bizarrely referred to herself as “toxic” in resurfaced posts under the username ‘Sosa the Stallion.’”

https://nypost.com/2026/08/07/us-news/ex-miss-north-carolina-usa-brittany-boltinhouse-believes-she-was-stripped-of-title-because-of-political-stance/

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

The people who stripped her of her title did it BECAUSE "Mormonism is a cult!" and "Mormons are NOT christians!" and all the standard reasons christian evangelicals spout when discussing the people they would dearly love to tie to stakes and set on fire.

She's lucky they masked their intolerance of her sect with the excuse that she is a racist. At least they didn't torture her and extract a confession of sin before they paraded her in the streets in a auto-da-fé run by a New Inquisition.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

“I won’t be judged for my past, and I won’t be judged at all because I am the woman I am today,”

Simba: "Ow! Jeez, what was that for?"

Rafiki: "It doesn't matter. It's in the past."

Simba: "Yeah, but it still hurts."

Rafiki: "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it."

I have a painting of a meditating mandrill in my office... I call it 'Chill Rafiki'

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

That money I stole from the bank yesterday is also in the past. You people are always getting upset about things in the past that I cannot change! Grow up!

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

uhm

You were judged for your past. If you are truly a different person you would own it and make amends, not whine about persecution

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

If she's a "a conservative Christian woman," she shouldn't be speaking in public. She should be busy submitting.

Schmannity's avatar

Which group would Jesus hate?

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

He might still be a bit peeved at the Romans who went and crucified him.

Rosy red ASS's avatar

And cooking and cleaning for some man.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

While barefoot and pregnant.

BosGrl's avatar

"I'm a proud racist! It's not fair!"

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

Sure. It was your Christian Beliefs and not your raging racism

Rosy red ASS's avatar

Nah, they only care that you are a fucking racist.

Mighty Little Dog's avatar

The new AG, Blanche, will use the Comstock Act to criminalize mailing abortion medication. And maybe birth control. You can bet on this.

helenasgarden's avatar

He plans on banning abortion nationwide. It's coming.

R. Riddle's avatar

He'll only do this performative nonsense to detract from the corrupt deals he'll be doing to line the pockets of Trump and his cronies or to hide the pedophiles in and around the White House and Congress.

Randy Bender's avatar

Note that finally releasing the Tr666p-Epstein Files was never a factor in his confirmation, making all the Republinazi senators now complicit in the cover-up.

And the 24/7 trash MSM never even mentioned it once!

Mighty Little Dog's avatar

It’s not performative, it would effectively end the only access to abortion for women in basically half the country

R. Riddle's avatar

It would be performative in the sense that it will be done as political theater and not any genuine legal or health issue.

Mighty Little Dog's avatar

No just oppression and cruelty

helenasgarden's avatar

If hatred is performative then, yes.

Randy Bender's avatar

First openly criminal AG acting on the commands of our first convicted felon, openly racist, rapist, terrorist, and traitor dicktator. History has been made.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

"What are YOU going to do about it, peasants?"