617 Comments
User's avatar
eddi-SABH's avatar

That guy is Godzillaing all over town.

Runfastandwin's avatar

The Barking Seal barks

when she feels happy

and flaps her flippers

when she feels flappy

Lizzy Leww's avatar

He’s been entertaining me all week. Now I want to go to Tasmania.

Resource NW's avatar

Does he have a busking permit? Maybe his fossiking license also too? Rubbing up against them rocks may turn up something.

Not Paranoid, Quadranoid's avatar

But whar is his bucket?

Eva, Iron Goddess of Mercy's avatar

Thanks Martini Glambassador! I suggested a Neil tabs, and you came through!

This is a really interesting situation, and (stunningly) not really anyone's fault. Neil is just doing what he is wired to do--come back to where he was born, in order to shed. Neil's mother had him at this beach, instead of with the elephant seal colony she's a part of, because you know how due dates are, etched in sand. So he keeps coming back, in spite of being transported far away at one point so that he couldn't come back; we see how that turned out. I do think we should have a go fund me for the town, so they can repair and replace the stuff he knocks over each time he comes back. The kind of scary part is that he's only HALF grown, and will be about FOUR TONS when he's mature (seriously). Hopefully by that time he will have found mates at actual elephant seal habitats, and might stop coming back and wrecking stuff in this town. Meanwhile, he's my spirit animal.

rawrtigerlily's avatar

Has anyone considered designing the very best seal scratching and rubbing apparatus ever, and permanently installing a couple of them on a convenient beach for a giant seal?

Neil’s Needs charity foundation… let’s go.

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

NEIL!

tehbaddr's avatar

They are MY traffic control knick knacks!

satch's avatar

Neil's a Scottish soccer fan

Menotsure's avatar

Not exactly the Seal of Good Housekeeping.

Robin's avatar

Ah Neil! I was just down there last week. He's a bit of a rascal.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

Come home from the pub, Neil. Yer drunk.

Miss Grundy's avatar

Neil just wanna have fu-un.......

M-X's avatar

Neil is always facing up to and knocking down vertical stuff; it's the natural behavior with his kind but it does get in the way of his seasonal human community. But I love Neil.

I LOVE YOU, NEIL!!!

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Poor guy, where are all his seal buds?

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Most elephant seals live further south, but he was born on the coast of Tasmania and returns twice a year to molt.

The Wanderer's avatar

He has a felony record, as I recall. Might be shaming.

M-X's avatar

He's off track, he keeps doing this. I don't think they've figured it out.

freakishlystrong's avatar

"Welp." Excellent!

Linda1961 aka Pollyanna's avatar

"After all that work, I'm pooped!"

Sherry's avatar

Number one on “the TicTac”. Insert “Sure Jan” gif here.

McConnell has been brain dead for awhile. How could they even tell? And you KNOW that they are trying to do some hinkey thing to not have a special election.

So if Platner drops out what are the Dems options?

CambridgeKnitter's avatar

I heard there were actually good candidates who might be willing to run.

beb's avatar

I don't know why the aides to Mitch McDonald can't be more forcoming about the Senator's health and prospects for recovery. If he was found unconscious and CPR had to be administered there is a great chance for brain injury, and that needs to be discussed. Pretending all is well is such a "Weekend at Bernie's" thing.

beb's avatar

Whatever happened to Marcie? I'd rather read more Marcie and less Evan.

calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

I love Marcie, but I definitely want to read all the Evan we can get.

Cincinnatus's avatar

""Well, that's what hurt my relationship with NATO because Greenland doesn't help Denmark. Denmark doesn't spend money to really help Greenland, but it's an important part for the United States, and it's surrounded by China ships and Russian ships… That should be controlled by the United States, not by Denmark," Trump told reporters while in Ankara, Turkey. Trump also suggested that the U.S. may pull its soldiers out of Europe, framing their NATO deployment not as mutual defense, but as a costly and unreturned favor." [HuffPost]

Enter Ranting's avatar

Maybe he'll die over there…

marcus816's avatar

“If he was to step down it would only be with a guarantee of being replaced by a candidate who he believes is true to the values and vision and policy agenda of the campaign that Maine voted for." Fuck off. Unlike the Rethuglifascists, we don’t knowingly vote for rapists and abusers.

Bupkus231's avatar

Geez - that bullshit about TikTok REALLY confirms Trump's mental disability - and that shit from Kevin McCarthy shows how easily Republicans ( even failed ones ) lie.

Shorter Ten's avatar

Sure happy someone can see his posts. Half of it is white space for me.

G-7 in Space's avatar

It's gonna be a loooooong week....

Bupkus231's avatar

Has the Orange Asshole started yelling that the Belgium win was rigged? I'm not going to bother to find his quoted words on this, but while trying to excuse his interference ( which he claims was not interference ), he said if the US wins, fine, but if Belgium wins, it was rigged.

This asshole is so fixated on everything that he sees as being against him must be "rigged" ( or "communist" ), he only reinforces the idea that he is not cognitively competent.

Enter Ranting's avatar

He knows these things – polls, games, elections – aren't rigged. But he also knows that he can manipulate his supporters by claiming they are. They know nothing is rigged also, but play along because they're total assholes.

Bupkus231's avatar

That certainly has the ring of truth. It's always been hard to believe the shit that Trump says and "believes", and MAGA is even worse at it.

Cincinnatus's avatar

How can it be that all the host countries have lost! Stollen!

calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

I can't help remembering Gary Hart and John Edwards today.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

IIRC, those were consensual affairs.

That said, it blows my mind how this shit happens over and over again, and the guys ALWAYS think they won’t get caught.

calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

They were consensual, and yet the scandals ended both their careers. How times have changed.

desimomo's avatar

My LAST thought on this, I promise: I didn't realize that AOC never backed Platner (the acclaim seemed so unanimous), so yeah. I wonder if what turned her off, in addition to his general toxicity, was the Reddit post about why "black people don't tip," based on his bartending experience. Honestly, that was enough for me.

Denise Donaldson's avatar

As a former bartender, I'd be right there with AOC if she thought, "I know that kind of guy." You can spot 'em the minute they walk through the door.

zuzu's avatar
Jul 7Edited

Perhaps his rape apologetics and victim-blaming on Reddit?

The racist Reddit posts?

The stint with Blackwater?

The Nazi tattoo?

She could smell that he was a rich kid cosplaying as a working-class hero (his parents set him up with his oyster farm, and his primary customer is his mother's restaurant)?

How curiously well-funded he was even though he came out of seemingly nowhere?

Who knows?

Lily Mars's avatar

The Blackwater stint was where I noped out completely.

tempusfugit's avatar

I'm sure I'm the minority here, but A) I don't find Tiger Beat on the Potomac a credible source of anything but Rethug retreads and MAGA Lite thinly disguised as 'investigative journalism' LOL B) I didn't find the story extremely credible OR extremely thorough C) I don't like Platner and never did, but....shades of Franken. Some deeply disturbing similarities here.

tempusfugit's avatar

Oh, and 'zuzu'? NO rules of evidence apply in your world, dear. You only do guilty until proven innocent.

zuzu's avatar

Huh.

Seems to me like the rap on the Franken allegations was that for the named accuser, "It was just a picture! It was just a joke! It was all staged!" And for the unnamed accusers, "How do we know if any of it's real if they won't put their names on their accusations!"

Now, we have multiple women coming forward, putting their names and faces on their accounts, giving details that go far beyond a joke picture. We have dates, times, therapist notes, contemporaneous accounts to friends, and descriptions of what he did like this:

"That night in late 2021, she said she had exchanged text messages with him and told him not to come over, saying she wasn’t in the mood for company. Later that evening, she said she realized when she heard a sound on the stairs that he had let himself into her house, which was unlocked.

"Platner came up the stairs, Racicot said, to where she was on a couch. He got on top of her and kept grabbing her, she said, while she repeatedly told him to stop and that she wasn’t interested. Racicot said she smelled alcohol on his breath and believed he was “almost blackout drunk” because Platner ignored her protests and continued to grab her after knocking over an antique sewing kit, spilling small needles everywhere.

"“I had been telling him these words, like: ‘No, don’t,’” she recalled.

"“And, the look on his face and realizing what was happening, I just realized that, like, I am in a situation where there’s no consent here,” she said.

"Racicot said she tried to separate herself from Platner by telling him she couldn’t be in that room anymore, after which he followed her to her bedroom and had sex with her against her will. She said he also ejaculated inside of her despite her telling him not to, as she was not using birth control at the time.

"She went to clean herself up, she said, and when she returned, Platner had fallen asleep. She contemplated waking him up to kick him out, but worried he could hurt someone driving in the state he was in.

"The following morning, she said, Platner tried to put his arm around her and she pushed him away. She said she asked him whether he remembered what had happened the previous night; according to Racicot, Platner said he didn’t remember. Racicot said she told him to leave and never contact her again.

"Racicot said she waited several weeks until she got her period to ensure she wasn’t pregnant, then sent Platner a private message on Instagram saying that the encounter was not consensual and she did not want to hear from him ever again. "

So, miss me with that bullshit about this being MAGA Lite. It's pretty clear you just don't believe any women at all when it comes to male politicians who rustle your jimmies. Or just any women at all.

eo's avatar

I've watched enough "Perry Mason" to know that therapist's notes are hearsay evidence.

zuzu's avatar

We’re not in a court of law here. FRE doesn’t apply.

eo's avatar

Understood. But I would hate to lose a candidate who could win in November because he unjustly lost in the court of public opinion now.

Denise Donaldson's avatar

If this rape accusation was the only black mark, it would still be really bad, but maybe one might give him the benefit of the doubt, absent a legal conviction.

But there are so many other red flags, along with other accusations of inappropriate or rough behavior toward women, that the negatives are overwhelming. Platter shouldn't get any consideration just because he might be able to beat Collins. That factor is irrelevant, given his conduct.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Joe Rogan has opinions! Knock me over with the tiniest feather you can find.

But Joe Rogan having opinions about.....rap music? STAY IN YOUR FUCKING LANE JOE!

What next? Joe Rogan gonna opine on mathematical Homotopy Theory being woke? Joe Rogan gonna shove JD Vance aside and 'splain morality to Pope Leo? Joe Rogan just gotta weigh in on why the tunnel connecting Madagascar to fucking Topeka Kansas is really really important on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and isn't important on Mondays?

Fuck the fuck clean off Joe Rogan! You ain't got a thing to say worth shit! You ain't shit!

Here Joe! Learn a thing before you open your mouth again. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homotopy_theory

Sister Artemis's avatar

Every time a judge rules against Trump and his minions* a kitten gets its wings!

-----

* admittedly, Trump may BE a minion for higher ups, but you get the gist of it, and the kittens rather like it, selfish bastards

Resource NW's avatar

To help along the convicted felon's mass deportation plan you now have mass hearings. Do better, Seattle Customs Judge: https://www.kuow.org/stories/immigration-courts-are-using-a-new-tactic-to-speed-up-deportations