430 Comments
User's avatar
Bitter Scribe's avatar

If "Gary" in that first batch of tweets thinks that meat, eggs, whole milk and bacon are going to lower his blood pressure, I'm afraid he's due for some bad news from his doctor.

Assuming he goes to a doctor, and doesn't just "do his own research."

Hank Napkin's avatar

ISN'T THAT WHAT DONE GOT US HERE?

We need a wartime mindset to fight the threat of wildfires — The Guardian

Friend's avatar

“He looks so natural.”

Tia Loca's avatar

Don’t slip on those tiles that Elaine just had installed.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Yes, he was released from "rehab" to the funeral director.

Tia Loca's avatar

No, it’s not. It’s just been moved from one freezer to another.

Eva, Iron Goddess of Mercy's avatar

Because I go barefoot almost all the time (as much as I can get away with), I am militant about getting tetanus boosters. I want to try the new MMR vaccine.

weejee's avatar

OT: Not sure if posted earlier, but a great group rendition of ♪ Forever Young ♫ at Glen Hansard's funeral in Dublin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGvN_Peaq9c

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Notice how Bono pushed his way to the front of the crowd.

Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

It's beautiful. I'm crying like a baby.

JustPixelz's avatar

OT:AP: Trump administration’s latest buyback of offshore wind leases brings total to nearly $4 billion

Got money for his vendetta against wind turbines but not for USAID for kids. It’s assholes all the way down.

Hollysdower's avatar

I didn't even know this was happening! He won't pay any of his contractors, but he pays wind farms $4 billion to go away?!

wobbly's avatar

It's taxpayer money, not his.

AJ Milne's avatar

‘… conservatives have learned over the years that if they just present their bullshit as a foregone conclusion, lots of people will just assume they missed class the day that bullshit was proven correct and go along with them…’

Sadly true.

People, learn the following. It’s a simple mantra:

Conservatives lie.

All the time.

They act all of everyone agrees with this, it’s just as likely to be bullshit.

(And that’s very very likely.)

ManchuCandidate's avatar

They lie because most of their ideas are shit. The worst part is they lie to themselves.

Timothy M Dwyer's avatar

‘It would be pretty great if people could stop being stupid’. Full Stop.

ManchuCandidate's avatar

That is flushing the tide against the shit.

Baconzgood's avatar

Baconzgood will be the fist in line.

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

Now I want all lines to have an overlord, referred to as The Fist In Line. They'd rule with an iron, well, fist!

Baconzgood's avatar

Well I am a punk rocker and know moshing

A "fist" in line is better than a first in line.

Edit: BTW. "Sheep Howard" is the best Stooge.

(Fuckin auto co-wrecks ruining my gags all the time....)

Timothy M Dwyer's avatar

Make sure that there’s only one line. Don’t want to confuze the stoopid peolpz.

Baconzgood's avatar

Is it like the deli or bakery and wait for your #. Or do you have to stand in line for days like getting Bruce Springsteen tickets?

Baconzgood's avatar

The real problem that Kennedy is worried about when it comes to vaccination is that his brain worms will stop telling how to think.

Shallow state's avatar

I'm so old I remember when the bad news for anti-vaxxers would have been that over 100,000 Americans died last year from illnesses that are vaccine preventable.

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

OT 5 minutes to the end of the work day.

JustPixelz's avatar

Autism is caused by television broadcasts. Prove me wrong.

Hollysdower's avatar

Autism is caused by church. Prove me wrong.

Aquaman, Real Estate Investor.'s avatar

Its caused by the 500 club.

Prove me wrong.

ManchuCandidate's avatar

Autism is caused by swear words, boobies and peen.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

It used to be comic books printed on cheap newsprint. How times have changed!

Kid 'n Nipple-Play's avatar

And can be cured by taint tanning.

JustPixelz's avatar

(checks taint)

Uh oh.

Belle la Bête f/k/a Girl Guide's avatar

It all started with a Big Bang.

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

I'm of the opinion that Fox "News" not only causes autism, but it's also a leading indictor for chlamydia, Dengue fever, athlete's foot, and terminal hemorrhoids.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

9 out of 10 doctors named Mehmet Oz need to read this.

HerstoryRepeating's avatar

I think (because my opinion beats clinical evidence) that Fox News hastens dementia:

Maureen's avatar

ingrown toenails also, too

TerseNurse's avatar

definitely the hemorrhoids.

Baconzgood's avatar

So have you noticed that a good percentage of the no vaccine people are the same that go hunting through long grass and complain that lime desease made them really sick? Or is that just in the parts known in Pennsylvania to us Pennsylvanians as "Pennsyl-tucky"

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Blood suckers latch onto other blood suckers.

Game recognizes game.

"M"'s avatar

They're also the same ones who refuse to mask up against disease

but are fully on board to mask up when they're doing a Patriot Front terrorist march

Baconzgood's avatar

Just to let you know. Stay away from Butler County. They got some really loonie-toonies there. Just Baconz AAA travel advice.

Caepan's avatar

I would recommend staying away from pretty much all of southern PA, from York to around Waynesburg.

eppe's avatar

Cheaper booze just across the line in Maryland.

DV Thrombossa Nova's avatar

This post turned up in feed. It's probably the best articulation of my wife's experience as a Hospitalist NP during COVID. We were terrified and like the author, my wife still experiences PTSD. I've said before, anyone who wants to tell me it was a hoax may join me outside for a breath of fresh air.

https://substack.com/@thewellnesstherapist/note/c-304430975?r=288stc

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

My father just died of heart failure and covid. He was doing well and seemed to be recovering but suddenly he took a bad turn and fluid from covid began filling his lungs. That was what eventually caused him to pass. He was vaccinated.

DV Thrombossa Nova's avatar

I'm sorry to hear that.

eppe's avatar
10mEdited

If I recall correctly you did have a nice visit with him and his wife recently. I hope that helps. Two friends of mine have died quietly in their sleep in 2026, and the memory of both of my last in-person encounters with them will leave an ever-lasting smile on my face.

President Rufus T. Superfly's avatar

May his memory be a blessing.

JanuaryClaire's avatar

I'm sorry to hear he passed, Diane. I hope you and your family find comfort in good memories.

EyeQueue's avatar

I'm so sorry.

JustPixelz's avatar

At the outset we didn’t know the cause or transmission method. We could not get PPE. We could not go to the grocery store unprotected. I downloaded a sewing pattern then hand sewed a mask so I could buy groceries. It was not fun.

EyeQueue's avatar

I remember seeing medical personnel in like plastic wrap and shit.

Unforgiveable. :(

DV Thrombossa Nova's avatar

I bought every lawn/leaf bag I could find. My sister sewed masks with vacuum cleaner hepa filters. At the hospital they began reusing ppe, "cleaned" between uses.

EyeQueue's avatar

:( :( I'm so sorry.

JustPixelz's avatar

RFKookJr also says Cyclospora is “under control”.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Oh FUCK! Run for the hills! It's everyman for himself! I don't need any more than him saying that to know that the runny diarrhea is gushing right into the helicopter blades and that stuff is completely out of control!

Seeeeeeee Ya!

"M"'s avatar

Also -- I have a story for Bobby Raccoon J

I was out at a restaurant yesterday for lunch & didn't really want to be

It was someone else's idea for us to be there

I'd been to the restaurant before & I usually ordered either a chef's salad or a Greek one, which is what I was going to do before someone at the table said "NO LETTUCE"

then I was like "Well, fine, then, I'll just have a cheeseburger"

and then someone else said "NO, SCREWWORMS"

and I thought something profane and just asked for the server & ordered French onion soup & iced tea (not sweet tea)

so if I inadvertently poisoned myself yesterday ordering that meal I do not want to hear about it, lolsob

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

Oof. Should've gone with the sweetea.

"M"'s avatar

He may well be saying that because now we have a whole new shiny viral thing

-- it looks like the "natural" viruses weren't enough

now we'll have AI ones too

and with the bulk of the AI infrastructure in the current hands of mostly monsters

I'm sure this will go super well

https://bsky.app/profile/ianmartin.bsky.social/post/3msgnkkkqrs2w

"We used to block access to things based on actual need.

You couldn’t just create your own bomb, or pathogen from help found on the Internet.

Things like the anarchist cookbook have been illegal to distribute for years."

https://bsky.app/profile/toddlambert.com/post/3msgnrbpbhs2i

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

My best friend says she's still pshhhht.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

"I have a sincere belief that if you flap your arms you can fly."

"Well, I guess it's perfectly legal to push your kids off the roof, then."

Sk8erChoi's avatar

When I was at a thrift store the other week, I saw a framed poster of birds flying with a caption reading "they can because they believe they can". I almost bought it for a friend who has an ironic appreciation for utterly vacuous and demonstrably false inspirational things.

Tommymo's avatar

Despair.com has the best demotivational posters evah

Sk8erChoi's avatar

This was meant to be sincere though, which makes it extra sadlarious.

Sk8erChoi's avatar

I did snap a quick pic of it. Maybe I can make a smaller desktop framed version for him.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

If you’re willing to give money to Wal-Mart, they do that at the photo desk.