465 Comments
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Anna-Elizabeth's avatar

Back in those days a neighbor here went full Q-crazy with COVID conspiracies. One day I was chatting about the MCU with the mailman and this neighbor starts in about Adrenochrome and how "Pelosi won't let me work". So I ceased talking to this guy and avoided him as much as possible. He'd get sad face when I would pass him in the hall.

Early 2021 I was outside to wait for UPS, back then security didn't have gate codes here and I was NOT going to miss delivery of some awesome pumps. Another neighbor and I were talking about the weather when Q-Crazy walks up and starts blathering about chemtrails. I ignored him until he started in about "COVID bacteria". I tried to explain that it is a virus, and he said "Educate yourself."

That was enough. I told him not to ever talk that way to me again. He tried to physically posture. He was taller than me, but also a gap-toothed, pill addict blivet bag, so I told him to go fuck himself. He then insisted I go away. So I again told him to go fuck himself, and I then deliberately turned my back to him.

He went inside. I got my shoes. I never saw or heard this wretched Trash again, he moved back to Oklahoma at some point.

goCatgo's avatar

Yep. Not surprised about the Oklahoma. I don't pick on Ok. as much as I could because

of Diane here. So don't tell her I said they are waackko out in the Panhandle. 🤪

Shane Donnell's avatar

Well, I won't volunteer it, but if she leans on me...

Darrell Leland's avatar

You forgot his many secret conversations with The High Illuminatus on world overthrow. But that's ok. I have transcripts.

goCatgo's avatar

That's true. But then somebody's mom yells "Pizza's Here!" and they go down and never finish.

tehbaddr's avatar

I had no idea this was a sport, I've been doing it for years!

"The endurance sport where you drop live ferrets down your pants"

https://boingboing.net/2026/07/28/ferret-legging.html

Anna-Elizabeth's avatar

Just remember, betting on the ferrets is a no-no. Don't let the 5-0 know you're betting!

Jamoche's avatar

I only know because it got mentioned in a Discworld book. Or maybe on alt.fan.pratchett (GNU)

Dirty Work's avatar

My tolerance to take seriously any further of this trump/Fox effort to flood the zone with contradictory, ill-logical bullshit has hit it's wall.

It's not even funny anymore.

You guys don't no longer pretend you're full of shit.

zuludaddy (seamonkey!)'s avatar

okay phew! yrrrrrrr

smoking lamp

is nao lit!

(yeeeeeeeeees)

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

FINALLY! One more minute of Graham's funeral ...

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

I can't even, re-living the pandemic days. Mr. Goat had been - um - unwell in 2017, 2018, and 2019, and things were just turning a corner in early 2020. I could see light at the end of the tunnel of crazy. And then March 15, 2020....Job begins to disappear, stuck at home with semi-crazy, getting more broke by the minute, watching my BFF crowd of 35 years become a diaspora, as it were....

Fuck anybody who doesn't want to do everything in our power to stop these things from happening again.

EyeQueue's avatar

This right here. It is an existential struggle at this point, IMO.

Thesaurus Wrecks 2547's avatar

Ross Douthat to join 60 minutes.

No, that is not satire.

SkeptiKC's avatar

Douchehat [sic] is what remote controls were made to correct.

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

Yes it is. It's just not intentional.

R. Riddle's avatar

Yeah, he's a shill that will say any conservative nonsense for a buck, so he'll fit right in with the current leadership at CBS SNews.

tim gueguen's avatar

And probably gets fired by January for not being right wing enough.

oscarphile's avatar

To be replaced by Eric Trump

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Hastening the destruction of the establishment media.

Jamoche's avatar

Well, at least I’ll finally know how to pronounce his name.

Parakeetist's avatar

It's "Douche Hat"

swmnguy's avatar

Well, that should get what remains of the team to leave. Including the janitor.

TerseNurse's avatar

emesis bags located conveniently on the seatback in front of you

🕊️ ꕷꖹꕷꗍ ♌'s avatar

I am *shocked* that the tangerine toddler fell asleep at Lindsey's send off!

Belle la Bête f/k/a Girl Guide's avatar

Declared certified by his own national board, declared certifiable by everyone else. This is like how Terrence Howard has an advanced mathrophysics degree in Terryology.

Khavrinen's avatar

I don't see how anyone could possibly doubt a word of this iron-clad evidence.

Bupkus231's avatar

Other than the fact that you attribute Rand Paul's dogged pursuit of Fauci to his intelligence ( and not his belief in conspiracy theories ), this is a pretty great satire.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

The GOP certainly has a lock on foaming-at-the-mouth, barking-mad politicians.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

I was just reading about the turmoil at Heritage, and it’s gonna get so much stupider.

Dirty Work's avatar

If I had a head of hair I'd prefer to wear it like Rands, not Fauci's. I don't and it's not the most important thing.

"Not letting The Islamic Republic of Iran" have nukes drives our every effort.

Never mind more Americans will die of food poisoning and other preventable's this year than have we in 47 years of mortal combat.

Belle la Bête f/k/a Girl Guide's avatar

That’s not even counting the innumerable deaths from despair by people who have just given up. Capitalism kills but it’s just business as usual.

Tecolote's avatar

44,000 people died from gunfire in 2024.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Pst. That isn’t Rand’s hair.

goCatgo's avatar

Yes it is. He still has the Amazon box it came in.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

His hair transplant was from his no-no parts.

Dirty Work's avatar

Look, if it works who are we?

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

I wish our every effort would be driven by feeding hungry school children or giving everyone health care.

Prometheus59650's avatar

I watch a leftist/atheist debater who believed that COVID was going to be the thing that shattered capitalism.

Nope. Close.

If the mortality rate was another 3-5points higher? Absolutely. The hospitals ALMOST shattered. If they had, then it would have been the start of a domino fall of doom.

swmnguy's avatar

We're not going to see it coming, whatever it turns out to be. Capitalism is too tangled and devious for it to be a straight-line thing.

It's going to collapse. The math doesn't lie. But those who have a lot to lose in the collapse will put their minds to it, and desperate people can pull off stuff one wouldn't think possible.

We won't see it until after it's happened, is my guess.

Dr. Rrrrrobotnik's avatar

Maybe, but personally I don't buy it. There is no contradiction of capitalism that it cannot turn into a profit center, and there is no reason - at all - to assume that the Revolution, when it comes, will be a left-wing one.

oscarphile's avatar

But the burn-it-all-down-and-start-over bros are all certain the Revolution will replicate their specific worldview precisely

President Rufus T. Superfly's avatar

I had no idea that engineering a supervirus would be such a hit with the hot ladies.

Lefty Frizzell's avatar

They're so desperate to make Fauci the villain. I don't get what his motivation would have been?

Belle la Bête f/k/a Girl Guide's avatar

It’s lockdowns they’re mad about, not the virus itself, because if the virus killed anybody they were weak and on their way out anyway. No, they’re mad that they didn’t get to swap spit and socialize and that people got paid to stay home instead of waiting on them hand and foot. They’re mad because covid was all part of the plot to transform America into a socialist country where people actually take others’ needs into consideration. Fauci invented it with the communist Chinese, you see, it was Biden’s 9/11 and he basically commissioned Fauci to do it through Hunter’s contracts with Burisma or something.

oscarphile's avatar

I think they're also mad the pandemic happened on the rapist's watch and might hurt his reelection chances, which it did

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

In their minds motive isn’t a concern, they just know people want to hurt them for no reason.

oscarphile's avatar

Because they want to hurt others for no reason, and assume the world is identical to them

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

Rightwingers live in a cartoon universe where evil people have no motive - they're evil just because they're evil.