14 Comments
User's avatar
chascates's avatar

And why was he called the 'Rail Splitter'?

Good_Gawd_Yall - Unperson's avatar

I just heard it like five minutes ago! So it must be true, because you wrote your post a lot longer ago than that!

Good_Gawd_Yall - Unperson's avatar

Abe Lincoln WOULD NOT have made fun of Caribou Barbie, because it would've taken, like, two years for her bullshit to escape Alaska and travel to DC, but if he HAD met her, she would turn up in his "dumb person doing dumb things jokes" as " a certain lady of my acquaintance."

Good_Gawd_Yall - Unperson's avatar

My favorite imagining about Abe though, besides Not Ford's Theatre, is him having two beautiful little girls, and going bike riding with them wearing mom jeans and a stovepipe helmet.

malsperanza's avatar

So, the GOP's idea is that they should continually mention Obama in the same sentence with Lincoln, while also saying <i>in no uncertain terms</i> that Obama does not quite measure up to our most revered, beloved, heroic, and honored President.

I will muster my outrage in a sec. I just have to paint my nails, watch a couple of seasons of old TV shows, and reread <i>Middlemarch</i> first.

bobbert's avatar

What's weird about that?

schmannity's avatar

He may have been the Great Emancipator, but unlike Obama--or McCain according to South Carolinians during the 2000 campaign--he would not have fathered 2 black children.

schmannity's avatar

Adamantly refuses to deny it!!!

schmannity's avatar

Lincoln would definitely not refrain from bitch slapping a US Representative who catcalled "You Lie!" in the middle of the State of the Union Address.

schmannity's avatar

With the likes of Skoal Rebel? Hardly.

diogenez's avatar

Lincoln would not go wind surfing during his presidential campaign.

diogenez's avatar

Lincoln would not eat Billo's face because - yech.

JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

Abe Lincoln WOULD be a Log Cabin Republican.