A couple of weeks ago, I ended my column with a lie: "Next time:" I wrote, "What if Paul Ryan blew a dog whistle so loudly that everybody, not just dogs, could hear it?" Of course I had no intentions of writing about this "What If?" subject at all; I added it as a throwaway gag. Wonkette readers can be unpredictable, though! It turns out that most of you just read the first part of the sentence, "What if Paul Ryan blew a dog," and then
"That's what people are saying, I know it's preposterous — but is it preposterous you think, Mary? What about a small Black Lab?"
“The dog loved it,” Ann Romney said. “He would see that crate and, you know, he would, like, go crazy because he was going with us on vacation. It was to me a kinder thing to bring him along than to leave him in the kennel for two weeks, without anyone to blow him.”
There are so many layers to the story. Apparently, this was "rebound" dog blowing for Ryan whose mixed breed terrier ran away 3 weeks ago.
"That's what people are saying, I know it's preposterous — but is it preposterous you think, Mary? What about a small Black Lab?"
"bone-a-Fido's"
“The dog loved it,” Ann Romney said. “He would see that crate and, you know, he would, like, go crazy because he was going with us on vacation. It was to me a kinder thing to bring him along than to leave him in the kennel for two weeks, without anyone to blow him.”
Chyron crawl: "Sexiest Shanks of 2014: Irish Setters"
Only oral? That doesn't count. Ryan gets to wag his finger and say, "I did not have sex with that dog."
"Parallel Parking in the Dog Bed"
Fabulous Princess, Sparkle Pony, is back!
So... was the Congressman a Maker or was he a Taker?
A: Paul Ryan and a dog.
Q: Name one companion animal, and a dog.
Say goodbye to your career because you'll probably be sued for writing this.
"Shenanigans"? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Did it make you think of Jennifer Rubin performing shenanigans on you? For shame!
What was the dog wearing? A provocative collar?
There are so many layers to the story. Apparently, this was "rebound" dog blowing for Ryan whose mixed breed terrier ran away 3 weeks ago.
Noted goat-fellator Mickey Kaus would like equal time for his species-of-choice.
Mainstream journalists reporting something bad about this dreamy budget ninja? That's just too droll...